You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I hadn't considered this, but I think you're spot on. It's a word that has become fashionable with the younger generations. I barely heard it when I was growing up, at least not when talking about humans. No doubt its popularity derives from the PUA movement.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I'm beta as ****
That sounds vaguely familiar, I think I can dimly recall that. The people who formed the "original" pickup community were meeting on the internet during the '90s, so I still think that terminology became fashionable due to them (as applied to humans). Some ridicule wikipedia as a source, but this article is kind of interesting as a brief recap of PUA history:
I'm not like that
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
The alpha and red pill, blue pill is overdone and childish. Before the movie the Matrix, this red pill / blue pill crap wasn't around. You need to have a high self respect and self worth for yourself. You need to have direction in life. You need to have your sh it in order (health/finance/crib) and you need to not place females on a pedestal. They must know that you will walk at one sign of major disrespect. All dudes can do this. All. Get to it.