The Only Time The Guy Has The Power Is When...

[Juan_Man]

he is no longer interested in the girl.

If you still like her, then you are fvcked.

Who here would disagree?

 

[PRMoon]

I completely disagree

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

he is no longer interested in the girl.

If you still like her, then you are fvcked.

Explain.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I too have to disagree Regis.

Power is a subjective term based on a number of factors. The most prominent of which is point of view. Men and women have what I call a " give and take" relationship. Let's say He tells She that He is going to take himself to the t!tty bar and He doesn't give a sh!t whether she likes it or not.

Who has the power He or She? She can tell He that He can't go and use threats or (golly be darned) withhold sex from He. If He succumbs He loses power and respect. If He tells She what time he'll be home and go anyway He holds his dignity and sac in hand.

 

[Juan_Man]

Explain.

Just observe all of your pvssywhipped friends in relationships.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Just observe all of your pvssywhipped friends in relationships.

You are only looking at the USA and Europe -- there is a much bigger world!!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Just observe all of your pvssywhipped friends in relationships.

Nah, that sh1t could be contagious.

 

[Moby_On_D]

I agree to some extent, obviously if you show blatently by doing whipped-esque things, that you are interested then you are prolly gonna be whipped. But I'd hope most ppl would be smart about it.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Nah, that sh1t could be contagious.

:crackup: Good one! :crackup:

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

eh semi agree.


it is true that wanting CAN take away your power... but theres more to it.

 

[cyp6]

when you loose intrese you become the prize. but thats another story.

 

[AZTECA]

A True man, not Guy, has always the power.

A man knows to treat his women to the point they always come back for more. That is "power," the ability to know not wat a woman wants, but what she needs....mang, I had to learn the hard way, but my experiences tell me knowing what a woman needs is enough to keep her satisfied and coming back (sometimes begging) for more...

AZTECA out.....

 

[sav]

i would have to agree,

mostly because i probably havent been in a relationship where this wasnt the case...

i only speak from experience but in theory i would have to agree on the give and take comment...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

A True man, not Guy, has always the power.

A man knows to treat his women to the point they always come back for more. That is "power," the ability to know not wat a woman wants, but what she needs....mang, I had to learn the hard way, but my experiences tell me knowing what a woman needs is enough to keep her satisfied and coming back (sometimes begging) for more...

AZTECA out.....

This would be my argument too. Besides, I can't see any advantage of having power with a woman you're not interested in. What's the point?

 

[Survivor]

Survivor, one of last DJ dinosaurs, checking in...

he is no longer interested in the girl.

If you still like her, then you are fvcked.

Who here would disagree?

Every now and them I come back to this site and there's always at least one thread that makes me chuckle...

But to answer your question, that statement is entirely wrong, and it has a defeatist perspective.

Read the archives. Anti-Dump once told me, "Survivor, you are alone because you are smart." At first I did'nt have to foggiest idea what he meant, but now I do.

Its better to be alone than to waste time with people who don't give a damn about you.

In short, a guy always has the power to command the respect of others. However, the guy only has power in a relationship when the girl is genuinely interested in him. The guy's interest level is irrelevant.

In fact, unless the girl is interested, there is no relationship at all.

 

[resilient]

Its better to be alone than to waste time with people who don't give a damn about you.

Right on man. Right on.

I took 2006 off from dating to study all subjects in masculinity. All the philosophy on this site + plus some gurus taught me so much about life and where I have to go towards manhood. Staying single for over a year was an invaluable time to self-improve.

 

[azanon]

A man only has the power when he is no longer interested in the girl.

If you still like her, then you are fvcked.

Who here would disagree?

Another vote for no.

When i first initiate a game on a girl, quite often i'm the one that's interested and she doesn't know me at all. Does that mean i dont have the power and she does? I dont think so. Because from the get go, I'm the one that's charming, manipulating, working towards getting what i want and she's, at most, a innocent bystander if you will.

If some kind of "relationship" starts (lets say in the really casual stages), i still say if i'm the one that's methodically nurturing her interest level higher and higher, then i'm the one with the most power even though at that given moment I might still have a higher interest level between us.

I dont ask myself from an independent point of view "does she like me?". Instead, I'm always thinking how am I going to show this woman something that I already know; that i'm the best guy of them all. True or not, I always think i'm the best. So for me, i always see it as a matter of only showing them something that's "a given" AFAIK. That's my mindset.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

True power isn't controlling the actions of others, it is the degree to which we have control over ourselves and our own actions.

If you allow yourself to be controlled by a woman, then yes, you are powerless.

 

[Jay Jay]

My thoughts.

A few guys have made some great replies in this thread (survivor, ananon, azteca) saying much of what I think but I'd like to add a point.

There seems to be some massive confusion about this "power" issue.

I get the very strong impression that most guys who come to sites like these are initially motivated by lack of success (of course as dudes get their **** together that changes). This lack of success makes a lot of guys feel powerless with women and are trying to figure out how to have power.

There also seems to be a tendancy for guys to give up their personal power to women they desire. This of course always backfires as women don't want a man submitting to them.

BUT...

Having power WITH women is not the same as having power OVER women. And thats where a lot of guys here seem to get mixed up.

Its okay... no its desirable for a woman you like to know you want her (how else would people ever actually manage to get together?). The problem is when you do things you would not normally do because you like her. When you give up your personal power to appease a woman then you have given her the power.

On the other extreme you can play that game of dominating a woman (never giving her a straight answer, never doing what she wants to do unless its on your terms, busting her balls, or if you are a real arsehole abusing her) but that drains a womans power, she will become clingy, she will use sex as a leverage point (and I think this is the situation that Juan Man is talking about)and deep down she will resent you and (you might not believe this but) she will cheat on you with the first REAL DJ she comes across.

In either situation you are constantly putting your energy into either keeping the power or trying to gain it.

Then finally there is the happy medium where both of you retain your personal power.

When you manage to express your affection whilst retaining your own power women will submit to you naturally (there is a big difference between a woman who is dominated and a woman who submits).

And instead of playing power games you can get on with doing fun things like playing doctors and nurses.

Anyway thats how I see it.

JJ

 

[Cod3r]

he is no longer interested in the girl.

If you still like her, then you are fvcked.

Who here would disagree?

Agree and Disagree


-Cod3r