"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The Only Time The Guy Has The Power Is When...
- Thread starter Juan_Man
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Explain.Juan_Man said:
KarmaSutra
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Power is a subjective term based on a number of factors. The most prominent of which is point of view. Men and women have what I call a " give and take" relationship. Let's say He tells She that He is going to take himself to the t!tty bar and He doesn't give a sh!t whether she likes it or not.
Who has the power He or She? She can tell He that He can't go and use threats or (golly be darned) withhold sex from He. If He succumbs He loses power and respect. If He tells She what time he'll be home and go anyway He holds his dignity and sac in hand.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Last Man Standing
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You are only looking at the USA and Europe -- there is a much bigger world!!Juan_Man said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Nah, that sh1t could be contagious.Juan_Man said:
Last Man Standing
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:crackup: Good one! :crackup:Francisco d'Anconia said:
THE_ADDMAN
Master Don Juan
it is true that wanting CAN take away your power... but theres more to it.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
AZTECA
New Member
A man knows to treat his women to the point they always come back for more. That is "power," the ability to know not wat a woman wants, but what she needs....mang, I had to learn the hard way, but my experiences tell me knowing what a woman needs is enough to keep her satisfied and coming back (sometimes begging) for more...
AZTECA out.....
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
This would be my argument too. Besides, I can't see any advantage of having power with a woman you're not interested in. What's the point?AZTECA said:
Every now and them I come back to this site and there's always at least one thread that makes me chuckle...Juan_Man said:
But to answer your question, that statement is entirely wrong, and it has a defeatist perspective.
Read the archives. Anti-Dump once told me, "Survivor, you are alone because you are smart." At first I did'nt have to foggiest idea what he meant, but now I do.
Its better to be alone than to waste time with people who don't give a damn about you.
In short, a guy always has the power to command the respect of others. However, the guy only has power in a relationship when the girl is genuinely interested in him. The guy's interest level is irrelevant.
In fact, unless the girl is interested, there is no relationship at all.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
resilient
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Right on man. Right on.Survivor said:
I took 2006 off from dating to study all subjects in masculinity. All the philosophy on this site + plus some gurus taught me so much about life and where I have to go towards manhood. Staying single for over a year was an invaluable time to self-improve.
Another vote for no.Juan_Man said:
When i first initiate a game on a girl, quite often i'm the one that's interested and she doesn't know me at all. Does that mean i dont have the power and she does? I dont think so. Because from the get go, I'm the one that's charming, manipulating, working towards getting what i want and she's, at most, a innocent bystander if you will.
If some kind of "relationship" starts (lets say in the really casual stages), i still say if i'm the one that's methodically nurturing her interest level higher and higher, then i'm the one with the most power even though at that given moment I might still have a higher interest level between us.
I dont ask myself from an independent point of view "does she like me?". Instead, I'm always thinking how am I going to show this woman something that I already know; that i'm the best guy of them all. True or not, I always think i'm the best. So for me, i always see it as a matter of only showing them something that's "a given" AFAIK. That's my mindset.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
If you allow yourself to be controlled by a woman, then yes, you are powerless.
A few guys have made some great replies in this thread (survivor, ananon, azteca) saying much of what I think but I'd like to add a point.
There seems to be some massive confusion about this "power" issue.
I get the very strong impression that most guys who come to sites like these are initially motivated by lack of success (of course as dudes get their **** together that changes). This lack of success makes a lot of guys feel powerless with women and are trying to figure out how to have power.
There also seems to be a tendancy for guys to give up their personal power to women they desire. This of course always backfires as women don't want a man submitting to them.
BUT...
Having power WITH women is not the same as having power OVER women. And thats where a lot of guys here seem to get mixed up.
Its okay... no its desirable for a woman you like to know you want her (how else would people ever actually manage to get together?). The problem is when you do things you would not normally do because you like her. When you give up your personal power to appease a woman then you have given her the power.
On the other extreme you can play that game of dominating a woman (never giving her a straight answer, never doing what she wants to do unless its on your terms, busting her balls, or if you are a real arsehole abusing her) but that drains a womans power, she will become clingy, she will use sex as a leverage point (and I think this is the situation that Juan Man is talking about)and deep down she will resent you and (you might not believe this but) she will cheat on you with the first REAL DJ she comes across.
In either situation you are constantly putting your energy into either keeping the power or trying to gain it.
Then finally there is the happy medium where both of you retain your personal power.
When you manage to express your affection whilst retaining your own power women will submit to you naturally (there is a big difference between a woman who is dominated and a woman who submits).
And instead of playing power games you can get on with doing fun things like playing doctors and nurses.
Anyway thats how I see it.
JJ
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.