Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
The Only Time The Guy Has The Power Is When...
- Thread starter Juan_Man
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Explain.Juan_Man said:
KarmaSutra
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Power is a subjective term based on a number of factors. The most prominent of which is point of view. Men and women have what I call a " give and take" relationship. Let's say He tells She that He is going to take himself to the t!tty bar and He doesn't give a sh!t whether she likes it or not.
Who has the power He or She? She can tell He that He can't go and use threats or (golly be darned) withhold sex from He. If He succumbs He loses power and respect. If He tells She what time he'll be home and go anyway He holds his dignity and sac in hand.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Last Man Standing
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You are only looking at the USA and Europe -- there is a much bigger world!!Juan_Man said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Nah, that sh1t could be contagious.Juan_Man said:
Last Man Standing
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:crackup: Good one! :crackup:Francisco d'Anconia said:
THE_ADDMAN
Master Don Juan
it is true that wanting CAN take away your power... but theres more to it.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
AZTECA
New Member
A man knows to treat his women to the point they always come back for more. That is "power," the ability to know not wat a woman wants, but what she needs....mang, I had to learn the hard way, but my experiences tell me knowing what a woman needs is enough to keep her satisfied and coming back (sometimes begging) for more...
AZTECA out.....
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
This would be my argument too. Besides, I can't see any advantage of having power with a woman you're not interested in. What's the point?AZTECA said:
Every now and them I come back to this site and there's always at least one thread that makes me chuckle...Juan_Man said:
But to answer your question, that statement is entirely wrong, and it has a defeatist perspective.
Read the archives. Anti-Dump once told me, "Survivor, you are alone because you are smart." At first I did'nt have to foggiest idea what he meant, but now I do.
Its better to be alone than to waste time with people who don't give a damn about you.
In short, a guy always has the power to command the respect of others. However, the guy only has power in a relationship when the girl is genuinely interested in him. The guy's interest level is irrelevant.
In fact, unless the girl is interested, there is no relationship at all.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
resilient
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Right on man. Right on.Survivor said:
I took 2006 off from dating to study all subjects in masculinity. All the philosophy on this site + plus some gurus taught me so much about life and where I have to go towards manhood. Staying single for over a year was an invaluable time to self-improve.
Another vote for no.Juan_Man said:
When i first initiate a game on a girl, quite often i'm the one that's interested and she doesn't know me at all. Does that mean i dont have the power and she does? I dont think so. Because from the get go, I'm the one that's charming, manipulating, working towards getting what i want and she's, at most, a innocent bystander if you will.
If some kind of "relationship" starts (lets say in the really casual stages), i still say if i'm the one that's methodically nurturing her interest level higher and higher, then i'm the one with the most power even though at that given moment I might still have a higher interest level between us.
I dont ask myself from an independent point of view "does she like me?". Instead, I'm always thinking how am I going to show this woman something that I already know; that i'm the best guy of them all. True or not, I always think i'm the best. So for me, i always see it as a matter of only showing them something that's "a given" AFAIK. That's my mindset.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
If you allow yourself to be controlled by a woman, then yes, you are powerless.
A few guys have made some great replies in this thread (survivor, ananon, azteca) saying much of what I think but I'd like to add a point.
There seems to be some massive confusion about this "power" issue.
I get the very strong impression that most guys who come to sites like these are initially motivated by lack of success (of course as dudes get their **** together that changes). This lack of success makes a lot of guys feel powerless with women and are trying to figure out how to have power.
There also seems to be a tendancy for guys to give up their personal power to women they desire. This of course always backfires as women don't want a man submitting to them.
BUT...
Having power WITH women is not the same as having power OVER women. And thats where a lot of guys here seem to get mixed up.
Its okay... no its desirable for a woman you like to know you want her (how else would people ever actually manage to get together?). The problem is when you do things you would not normally do because you like her. When you give up your personal power to appease a woman then you have given her the power.
On the other extreme you can play that game of dominating a woman (never giving her a straight answer, never doing what she wants to do unless its on your terms, busting her balls, or if you are a real arsehole abusing her) but that drains a womans power, she will become clingy, she will use sex as a leverage point (and I think this is the situation that Juan Man is talking about)and deep down she will resent you and (you might not believe this but) she will cheat on you with the first REAL DJ she comes across.
In either situation you are constantly putting your energy into either keeping the power or trying to gain it.
Then finally there is the happy medium where both of you retain your personal power.
When you manage to express your affection whilst retaining your own power women will submit to you naturally (there is a big difference between a woman who is dominated and a woman who submits).
And instead of playing power games you can get on with doing fun things like playing doctors and nurses.
Anyway thats how I see it.
JJ
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.