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I just stumbled across this forum when searching for BPD/NPD. The more I read about this disorder/s the more shattered I am. As if I could be anymore shattered after the 2 1/2 year-long experience with my fiance.
Having read the last 15 pages as well as all the pages in the "How to get rid of a BPD woman" thread on this site, I am utterly astonished, sickened, and saddened, by the similarities on display with a huge number of these BPD cases. It's as if all women have this frailty and/or issue existing (dormant) inside them that just needs the wrong set of circumstances or upbringing to create one of these creatures. There is no other plausible explanation. Else how else can so many women be like this?
Its almost like there is something inside women in particular that predisposes them to Cluster-B personality disorders, given just the wrong catalyst during their formative years. Be it lack of sufficient parental love, neglect, abuse, or abandonment / perceived abandonment, or whatever. It is heart-rending to read more and more about how many lives can be turned upside down and/or destroyed because of these disorders.
I am positive there have to be cases where guys, even strong ones, have resorted to taking their own life as a direct / indirect result of being chewed up by a Cluster-B or BPD woman. I know this, because I survived one of these. I very nearly didn't. I thank whatever lucky stars I had that I made it through to the other side and am on the way to healing from what I went through with the one I loved more than anyone before her. I am positive some who went through what I did have not been so lucky. Not because they were weak, but because these Cluster-B creatures have a way of taking even the strong ones among us and grinding them down and shattering their entire self-belief system until they are a shell of the person they use to be.
I have been and lived through far worse than I estimate 75-90% of the stories I have read on the internet on forums such as these, even on forums dedicated to these mental disorders, some of the accounts have not really come close. I truly am astonished that a person can be for an entire year, the most loving kind giving person one could hope to meet, and after that turn on a coin to become a wantonly sadistic, mean spirited, utterly gratuitously nasty person you ever had the misfortune to come across.
I believe a lot of these stories here are definitely BPD. Compared to what I lived through they would classify as perhaps (relatively) mild. Mine was not only a borderline but had full-blown waif-like BPD and NPD comorbid with ASpD traits. Trust me, the very fact I am alive and did not end up taking my own life through utter despair and heartbreak is a small miracle that I give thanks for on most days even a year later. That does not mean I don't have my problems that linger as a result of what I went through. Adrenal Fatigue / Burnout being one of them, caused by excessive exposure to long-term stress.
For the purpose of not rewriting what I have already written elsewhere, I am going to simply post a link to my story: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1394440&postcount=43
The link to the page in context of the thread is here: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=126555&page=3
Some may not believe that the story is true - but I assure every word is true and accurate. I have even left things out I am sure, as it is impossible to remember everything that went on in two and a half years. Those are just most of the worst things that I can remember. Bearing in mind I suffered with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which I believe I have more or less recovered from (a year later) but I still suffer with the Adrenal Burnout, which I am told takes fully 18 months to 2 years to fully recover from. I am taking things day by day knowing that the road may be long to recovery, but that when I come out the other side I will be a stronger person who will never again tolerate the worst from someone in the name of 'Love'.
I know there will be a few here who will assign to me the term "AFC", personally I don't believe that would be accurate. Who knows, perhaps just maybe I did have a couple AFC traits. I have dated quite a number of females, am tall, good-looking, have a good job/career, am well-liked by most people, and for 20+ years have been right at the top of a certain sport in the country and continent I live. This has brought me fame and spoils, not along the lines of a top world athlete, but I am well-respected and recognized in the sporting arena. I therefore have not had any issues with confidence or lack of it, with women or otherwise. But for some reason this woman cast me under some kind of spell, she captured me so completely and totally that once I was snared I was hers, and looking back, I am sure deep down she knew it. :yes:
In reality I am utterly disappointed in her, at how callous she could be, how she could trash what we had together, all our plans for the future, and heap so much pain and destructive behavior on the one she claimed to love more than anyone before me. I guess I will never really understand it. And I have read tons of information in books, on the internet, I even had to go see a psychologist as a result to try to get my mind around what happened.
The main thing I just want to say is this: I see in this thread there are those who think they can 'play' with these women as a kind of 'tit-for-tat' game or 'play' them at their own game. I would advise against that in the EXTREME
. Take it from someone who has been through some of the the worst that female Cluster-B disorders has to offer: If you know or suspect that the woman in your life has this/these disorders or even has these traits, don't waste time in trying to heal/fix/help / play them at their own game and/or get them back for what they are or what they did to you. Just LEAVE
. Turn the other way, and don't look back. In effect, RUN for your life, and if not for your life, for your sanity. Your life is too valuable to waste spending it with, or within a mile of one of these creatures. Take it from someone who knows: They are better at this, smarter, more cunning, more treacherous than you, think or believe what you want about being more clever than them. They have likely been the way they are since childhood and learned these behaviors as a primitive survival mechanism or instinct. These behaviors are primitive, primal even, driven at the very core of their being.
continued in next post /...