The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Buster2026]

Roger all that.

to be fair I am working hard on my life, good (manly) job

47 and competing again in 8 weeks in physique bodybuilding

sorting out my finances, have my spare time and dates good to go.

il be lying if I said I hope she sees this…….not through me explaining or purposly showing that im doing good.

i know il see her today, I know I’m attractive…..though my actions weren’t lately.

Not saying I’m hung up on, ‘the one’ it’s just out of all those Iv ever met this one I’m crazy about, I wasn’t even close to feeling like this with my ex wife.

But il take the advice on this forum because it’s not the last option, it’s the only option.

Back to being a man again.

a
Also 4 dinner dates but she was in my house staying over twice a week for over a year. That’s why I’m pretty upset. It was more than just meeting her 4 times

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day 36

It's 22.49, I picked my phone.

One missed call from my Ex. One hour ago

@Barrister
Advices are welcome

@BPH
I was wrong

 

[Barrister]

Day 36

It's 22.49, I picked my phone.

One missed call from my Ex. One hour ago

@Barrister
Advices are welcome

@BPH
I was wrong

You already know my answer. Don’t call her back and stay NC. That path only leads to more pain and frustration.

 

[Lotus Effect]

I spoke to 3 good friends of mine last night, all of them pill aware.
Some of the guys I have most admiration of.

All of them told me to be polite, and politely cut her off.

That not responding is childish behaviour, especially if I'm on a healing path, and especially from someone my age.

One of them said that the minute we ended she downgraded to someone I know, and to act accordingly.
He asked, how would you reply to someone you know?
Be polite, and that is it.

Over text, no calls.
Still, let's see.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Anywho, I replied her, told i missed her call, what was up.

She told me she called to check on me, see how I was.

I said good, rushed, she said same, and asked how is my family.

I said good hope yours is doing good as well, i'm swamped rn now, we catch up later, good to hear from you.

And she replied on the most disgusting way a human being can reply someone.

With a thumbs up reaction.

Next time, if there is a next time, which I'm pretty sure it won't be. I will just don't reply.

You can't even be polite with these ho€s.
Piece of shlt.

Damn you @Barrister
It seems I never learn.

 

[Zontyy]

Day 1 - since my last crazy baby mama. I decided to turn back toward stoicism and religion.

I met a girl while traveling at a religious function we seem to hit it off, only problem was.
I was in New York and she was in Texas. We talk lots and texted. It seemed to be going really well, she even was joking around about planning her wedding with her mom. When she finally told her dad about me. He questioned my spirituality and how long it took me to get baptized and commit to god. He must of got in her head because next day after talking with her dad she wanted to know my thoughts and long term goals for church and how committed I was. She wanted to marry a man with the title and that her dad told her she was an elders wife material.

Anyways I’d like to think I am a pretty good guy and help out where I can, I try to keep that on the down low because rather store up treasures with god and not man. I told her that I was content with my position within church and if she felt the need to clout/title chase that it wasn’t for me.

She broke up with me the day after that conversations. I think she was taken back though how easy I took breakup and wished her the best for her and her family. She then asked to stay friends at least on “instagram” I stopped her and asked her why? Her rule is that she believes that women should only be friends with women and men should only be friends with men. That she going against her boundaries by doing that. That I am okay with the breakup and enjoyed the conversations and wished her well.

She stop me again and told me to wait not to hang up. That she wanted to check up on me in 2-3 months. I told her why bother she is a pretty girl and should meet someone locally in her congregation. Then she begged me to allow her to “check in”. I told her nothing will change and my mind is made up on church and how I feel about things. That I wouldn’t block her but I’m not waiting around and to enjoy her life she seemed shaken.

Anyways Day 1

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Day 1 - since my last crazy baby mama. I decided to turn back toward stoicism and religion.

You got it, man. Distance is an MF.

 

[Carmina Gadelica]

Staying strong , had the urge to look at fb so i blocked

 

[Foe]

No Contact Day 1

Four months. Multiple attempts to establish something real. Consistent deflection, unavailability and a male "friend" who turned out to be a business partner/something else.

I ignored my instincts repeatedly and accepted excuses I knew were patterns. Confused her complexity for depth and her warmth for availability. Classic branch swinging — I was the branch she tested while deciding whether to let go of the other one. She never let go.

I lost my frame in the final conversation, went into detail when I should have stayed silent. Gave her the pivot she needed to make my response the problem rather than her behavior.

This guy took her interstate for a week, paid her 10g under the guise of a working opportunity (dad has a successful business) and they slept in the same hotel room. She reckons they never slept together, I call BS. She had all the classic signs of a cheater, timetable was all over the place, days without contact, freaky in bed followed by tears after sex. The weird part is she introduced me to her kids, how weird is that if shes banging another guy. The hypergamy is real. I got status mogged by this dude.

I'm angry at myself for staying longer than the evidence warranted but I guess I got laid

 

[Barrister]

No Contact Day 1

Four months. Multiple attempts to establish something real. Consistent deflection, unavailability and a male "friend" who turned out to be a business partner/something else.

I ignored my instincts repeatedly and accepted excuses I knew were patterns. Confused her complexity for depth and her warmth for availability. Classic branch swinging — I was the branch she tested while deciding whether to let go of the other one. She never let go.

I lost my frame in the final conversation, went into detail when I should have stayed silent. Gave her the pivot she needed to make my response the problem rather than her behavior.

This guy took her interstate for a week, paid her 10g under the guise of a working opportunity (dad has a successful business) and they slept in the same hotel room. She reckons they never slept together, I call BS. She had all the classic signs of a cheater, timetable was all over the place, days without contact, freaky in bed followed by tears after sex. The weird part is she introduced me to her kids, how weird is that if shes banging another guy. The hypergamy is real. I got status mogged by this dude.

I'm angry at myself for staying longer than the evidence warranted but I guess I got laid

Yes, you got laid, but no pvssy is ever worth a man’s dignity or his peace of mind. You lost both here. Also, don’t try to understand women with your logic-based male brain. “She introduced me to her kids then said it’s over!?” Yes, it makes zero sense to do that from a logical standpoint, but women are creatures driven by emotion. It can be pure chaos at times given their hormones.

In any relationship the person who cares less has all the power. That was her here and it looked like by a wide margin. Don’t get caught in that position again or you’ll again be in an untenable position where you are trying to get her to care (and she won’t).

 

[Foe]

Just got this " Hey, nearly a month since we 'spoke'...you good and moved on and want to leave it, or do you want to talk a little some time? " Didnt reply, dont think I will..

 

[Barrister]

Just got this " Hey, nearly a month since we 'spoke'...you good and moved on and want to leave it, or do you want to talk a little some time? " Didnt reply, dont think I will..

Don't fall for this. It is classic "push-pull" female behavior. Otherwise known as "breadcrumbing." She is bored and looking for something to entertain her in the moment. This will only reset your NC to "0" and bring back a bunch of unwanted aggravation for you.

 

[Clockwerk50]

NC – Day 12

I’ve thought about writing this post several times. It’s a collection of thoughts from last week. No contact should be easy since I’ve done it for over 120 days in the past. Even though I only initiated contact twice over the course of a whole year, and initiated 4 times in person, I still get the occasional weird urge to reach out, but I have good self-control. Hopefully, writing this post will help me process everything and grieve the loss of this connection. Ideally, this will be my last victim-puke post where everything revolves around her, and I can get back to reality. I am still baffled that I have to deal with this a year after the official “step back” text date.

Anyway, I’ve concluded that my oneitis came from miscalculating my expectations. When I first saw her in person after the breakup, she was devastated, so I decided to offer genuine friendship, as I had initially stated in the farewell text message. That’s why I asked how she was doing when we met in person multiple times and sent birthday and Christmas texts. I wasn’t pursuing her; I was simply keeping in touch and checking that she was doing well. But I also had a covert contract and expected her to remain part of my harem indefinitely. I don’t need to explain why I made that mistake or forgot my own teachings.

The three reasons I felt hurt after she told me she had moved on were:

1. I thought my door would always be open and her lifestyle would stay the same. I also thought I had alpha widowed her because she came back two times after we stepped back. Her new reality made it clear that the door had finally closed.
   
   
2. No matter how stoic you are, nobody likes hearing how great someone’s life is without them.
   
   
3. Thinking about her doing things I associated with our time together with this new guy during their honeymoon stage bothered and shocked me, even though I don’t consider myself jealous. I’m somewhat okay with this now. However, the real gut punch was being put in the friend zone when she patted me on the back and called me “buddy.”

Last week, on NC-4, she sent a mass email to the four donors with a picture of herself thanking us for the donation. Since I donated anonymously, I was BCCed. My first thought was that she was getting fat. Then my reptilian brain kicked in, telling me I should have gone to the walk with my dog, put more effort in, attended when she invited me, or at least hearted or responded to the email. I did none of those things.

Last Thursday at work was also tough. I sometimes wondered whether she’s playing hooky with her new guy or skipping work to spend time with him. Then I remind myself that I don’t know what she’s doing and shouldn’t care. My brain is being irrational, and my emotions are affecting my judgment. It cannot be trusted.

Lastly, I don’t want this post to keep revolving around her, so I want to touch on my current girl.

The current girl I’ve been seeing has been trying to cheer me up throughout this drought. She’s been cleaning, bringing me breakfast in bed with heart-shaped pancakes, telling me stories to make me laugh, talking about her fantasy hockey league, buying me a silver chain yesterday, and even taking me to a Halloween walkthrough on Wednesday night. Little does she know what this is really about, since I’ve only told her I’m feeling sick.

Nonetheless, I’ve been inattentive, had a short fuse, and been passive-aggressive or snapped at her a couple of times. I feel like she might be starting to get impatient. I wouldn’t be surprised if the **** tests and comfort tests start coming, since her maternal caregiving instincts aren’t getting the response she expects. The truth is, I don’t even feel like giving her much attention right now.

I have much more to say, but I will leave that for next week.