If you do NOT feel you are up to the challenge, ... still do it! Don't be a chode and give her attention and try to work things out. 99% of times, it makes it worse. We are man, not little flower girls!
Day 1
I don't know if I belong here, and I don't feel up to the challenge. My gf just ended things with me today, pretty much out of nowhere. We had a great relationship to this point, but about a week ago she had some serious issues with a close family member's mental health, and decided that this (along with a major professional exam she is preparing for/stress at work) meant she "did not need a relationship right now." She came over and we spoke in person, and I told her I understood her needs and that I wouldn't contact her. She said she didn't know how she felt or what she needed, and that she didn't want to say we would never be together in the future, but that she needed space and to be alone right now. She's the type of person who, if she didn't want to be with me, would straight up say so. But this definitely felt like a permanent breakup conversation.
I've read tons of your stories, and I feel weird posting here since there were no problems with our relationship or BPD/NPD, she's genuinely an amazing person and the only woman I ever found myself seeing a future with.
Obviously I'm skeptical of her reasoning, but I think it could be true. We were constantly together or texting/face-timing, and I've seen her on her phone and computer many times and there is no sign that she's been talking to other guys while we were together. So I can only assume it's either her personal issues or that she's over me and found an excuse to see other people. But from what I've seen and experienced, she was very much into me until this very legitimate family issue arose.
I've successfully gone NC with my most recent two previous LTR BPDs (and failed other times before that, when I didn't know about NC). I never heard back from either of them, but after a few weeks I was over them and had moved on. I'm no stranger to how this works, but this time it's VERY different. It's a long shot, but I feel like there's a small change this ex might work through her issues and contact me. And in the off-chance that happens, I don't know what I'll do. I've fallen for this one, hard.
I definitely need to go NC for myself, because I know firsthand how much worse things get when I break NC. It's the only way I'll get through this and keep my sanity/dignity. But I also know that's the only way she'll come back to me. I try to fight that feeling, but deep down it's what I know I truly want. I don't want to lie and say I wouldn't do anything to get her back right now.
In the meantime I'll do the typical NC dance: hitting the gym and working on myself. But am I in the right place? Any hope for me?
