The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Carpathian]

I'm just stuck on how great of a score she was and how short lived it was to end so abruptly with no closure. It's crazy lonely and so difficult to meet interested females in my area.

Dude, you need to get a grip. You have oneitis massively. You have to pick yourself and get out there. Crazy lonely? Dude, WTF are you doing all day? Get down the gym, running club, cycling club, triathlon, baking, get back to school/college, learn Slovak , get reading. FFS man, there is a ton of stuff you can do, the world is your oyster, a load of ways to meet new people. Even if many of them are guys, no matter - somone, some day may have a cute friend or sister. GET THE FVKK OUT THERE and stop feeling so goddamn sorry for yourself.

 

[xstang77]

She went from saying she wants me to be the father of her current kid and us having one together to ghosting for 4 days then dump through text, saying she's not over her past and not ready to move out here and it's all on her yada yada. Guess it screws with me because I'm used to that kind of hot and cold crazy with my bpd ex and her coming back, however this one hasn't cracked at all in over 5 weeks.

 

[xstang77]

Thank you guys for all the support, I do have severe oneitis, girl was an 8.5 and treated me like a king and it looks like everything on the market is a downgrade. Wish I had friends like you guys around here we could go chase Pvssy together, all the bars Around here are either filled with hoodrats or it's a sausage fest lol.

 

[Roober]

Thank you guys for all the support, I do have severe oneitis, girl was an 8.5 and treated me like a king and it looks like everything on the market is a downgrade. Wish I had friends like you guys around here we could go chase Pvssy together, all the bars Around here are either filled with hoodrats or it's a sausage fest lol.

Then do other things. Your making a lot of excuses to wallow. If she was willing to drop you, she is not that great.

Make two lists... things you liked about her and things you didnt like... go through the list you did like, then ask yourself, how many are really unique to her? Once you begin to take off the rose colored glasses, you see the person she really was...

She fooled you just like I got fooled. She lured you in, got you hooked, then revealed her real self...

 

[xstang77]

Day 23 since I sent a text on Christmas Eve with no reply, have a date this coming weekend with some skinny artsy girl that seems atleast mediocre but lives about 40 minutes away, kind of early to set up but we'll see if it happens, it's something to do. Got hit up by a past slump buster asking to do a 3 sum with her and her friend so there's that.

 

[wonderer]

Yesterday she text me 3 times after roughly 2 weeks, messages went:

Her: hey caramel (nickname she used to give me) happy new year!

5 mins later: why have you not been texting me?

25 mins later: come on... dont be a bastard on new years eve

I want to see if I can turn this into a fwb, shes not in the country at the moment, so I wasnt going to reply for a few days, and reply with "been busy" ive now decided that she needs to feel the loss of her decision, so thinking not to reply and keep NC, will drive her nuts, see if she reaches out again whilst me dating other women.

Completed day 30 of NC yesterday, only time she reached out was to say happy new year... I was feeling angry about the way I was treated over chirtsmas, how she tried to purposely hurt me, and when we got back together how she would just start talking about f*cking this other guy she left me for like it was nothing. Anger turned to sadness more recently.

I started sating a different girl very soon after and kept me a bit occupied, still thought about the ex lots, but this plate is gone now, I need more plates, need to do cold approaches, been trying to focus on my health, buying new clothes, my job, keeping busy with friends and family.

I'm still in a pretty bad place, getting better, she buttered me up so hard then flipped, became hurtful. Here's to the next 30.

 

[exhausted]

Completed day 30 of NC yesterday, only time she reached out was to say happy new year... I was feeling angry about the way I was treated over chirtsmas, how she tried to purposely hurt me, and when we got back together how she would just start talking about f*cking this other guy she left me for like it was nothing. Anger turned to sadness more recently.

I started sating a different girl very soon after and kept me a bit occupied, still thought about the ex lots, but this plate is gone now, I need more plates, need to do cold approaches, been trying to focus on my health, buying new clothes, my job, keeping busy with friends and family.

I'm still in a pretty bad place, getting better, she buttered me up so hard then flipped, became hurtful. Here's to the next 30.

She talked about banging another guy??
Fvck that skank *****.
No sadness have some fire.
No girl disrespects you like that.
She is a LOW life

 

[wonderer]

She talked about banging another guy??
Fvck that skank *****.
No sadness have some fire.
No girl disrespects you like that.
She is a LOW life

she started seeing someone else when we had been going out for 3 months, she then came back to me, I didnt know what I had happened between them or what the full story was, then one day I took her out for dinner and she was talking about him, talked about how they had arguments about using protection, about how he put his clothes on and stormed off, how she said to him she though he used her for sex. Basically telling me they were f*cking. My heart sank. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and what she was openly talking to me about with no emotion considering she was with me and she knew how strong my feelings were for her.

 

[exhausted]

she started seeing someone else when we had been going out for 3 months, she then came back to me, I didnt know what I had happened between them or what the full story was, then one day I took her out for dinner and she was talking about him, talked about how they had arguments about using protection, about how he put his clothes on and stormed off, how she said to him she though he used her for sex. Basically telling me they were f*cking. My heart sank. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and what she was openly talking to me about with no emotion considering she was with me and she knew how strong my feelings were for her.

Bingo no emotion for u ,she is a bpd or just a God awful person.

I carry myself with the thought that my dad is watching how someone is treating me and how I react.

What would u do if your dad witnessed this? Sit there and take it like a *****? Or stand up and say i dont like *****s. Bye. ?

Your sadness should be overwhelemed by your fire.
Would u want ur wife to tslk to u like this?
Didnt think so.
U are better off.

 

[xstang77]

It's really ****ty but atleast she told you, I prefer to know what I'm getting "into".

 

[wonderer]

Bingo no emotion for u ,she is a bpd or just a God awful person.

I carry myself with the thought that my dad is watching how someone is treating me and how I react.

What would u do if your dad witnessed this? Sit there and take it like a *****? Or stand up and say i dont like *****s. Bye. ?

Your sadness should be overwhelemed by your fire.
Would u want ur wife to tslk to u like this?
Didnt think so.
U are better off.

she has issues with her dad, deffo think she is bpd, she messed with the other guy too, deleted a photo of her and him and uploaded of a gift I gave her, then deleted my gift and put her pic with him up again. Seems like she loves to mess guys up. proper was loving me for the first 3 months then went a bit crazy. No emotion at all. Surprised no one pointed this out to me when I was posting about her.

Finding this time now after 30 days the hardest so far...

 

[wonderer]

It's really ****ty but atleast she told you, I prefer to know what I'm getting "into".

Woldve prefered not to have known man kills me to think about it

 

[Daximus]

Thanks, this site helps tremendously. I have been blessed/cursed with an analytical mind where it is a struggle not to resolve things, finish problem solving, puzzles, **** like that so I have trouble not putting all pieces together in situations.

Hi all, fortunate enough to have stumbled across this site today. I'm 3 days into NC after 7 years. I like Exhausted suffer with an analytical mind and find it near impossible to have things left unresolved, it's pure torture. On top of the hammer blow that is being told after 7 years that she's 'not sure anymore'. Living out of a suitacse right now couchsurfing as we share(d) a house.. that I gave my blood sweat and tears to fully renovating over the 5 years we've been there. I was juggling building a business at the same time, near broke me in the porcess (of which was my fault when not being affectionate at the end of each day) and also dealing with her BPD issues. I'm stunned at how many of you have suffered at the hands of a BPD, surely there's a big correlation here? She would blow up all the time, and I would know the second she opened her mouth that she was the 'other' her. It could last a few hours, or a few months in one case, behaviour became cold, emotionless towards me, volatile and super nasty. This time she seems to have been there for about 6 weeks with only a few 'normal' appearances, and then she went as far as giving me the boot a few days ago. No lie, I love her to the ends of the earth, i've known her 10 years, and as i've read here, the highs in these realtionships do keep you hooked, and you suffer the downers blinded by the 'better' them. She's also a cracker, like the kind that everyone would comment on when we were at functions or such, some douchbags not even believeing she was with me (im not the worst looking guy), but she is a 10. This crazy her will have a new guy prob already, but she will eventually snap back at some point and come knocking, I know it. Need to get my head straight before that happens. F$$K it's hard. Her 30th tomorrow, going to be tough not breaking. Saying goodbye to the crazy side is damn easy, when the good side comes back, it's like the purest drug in existance. Long road ahead.

 

[Carpathian]

@Daximus View this as the first day of the rest of your life and try your best (sure it's hard) not to dwell too much on the past. The past is exactly that, what HAS been. The future beckons.

It does not matter how much you loved her. Many of us did our exes too. A relationship is comprised of two people who love EACH OTHER. She wants out? Space? Time to think and all that BS? Let her have it. DO NOT contact her, man. Let HER be the one come looking for you. She may, she may not.

 

[xstang77]

Hi all, fortunate enough to have stumbled across this site today. I'm 3 days into NC after 7 years. I like Exhausted suffer with an analytical mind and find it near impossible to have things left unresolved, it's pure torture. On top of the hammer blow that is being told after 7 years that she's 'not sure anymore'. Living out of a suitacse right now couchsurfing as we share(d) a house.. that I gave my blood sweat and tears to fully renovating over the 5 years we've been there. I was juggling building a business at the same time, near broke me in the porcess (of which was my fault when not being affectionate at the end of each day) and also dealing with her BPD issues. I'm stunned at how many of you have suffered at the hands of a BPD, surely there's a big correlation here? She would blow up all the time, and I would know the second she opened her mouth that she was the 'other' her. It could last a few hours, or a few months in one case, behaviour became cold, emotionless towards me, volatile and super nasty. This time she seems to have been there for about 6 weeks with only a few 'normal' appearances, and then she went as far as giving me the boot a few days ago. No lie, I love her to the ends of the earth, i've known her 10 years, and as i've read here, the highs in these realtionships do keep you hooked, and you suffer the downers blinded by the 'better' them. She's also a cracker, like the kind that everyone would comment on when we were at functions or such, some douchbags not even believeing she was with me (im not the worst looking guy), but she is a 10. This crazy her will have a new guy prob already, but she will eventually snap back at some point and come knocking, I know it. Need to get my head straight before that happens. F$$K it's hard. Her 30th tomorrow, going to be tough not breaking. Saying goodbye to the crazy side is damn easy, when the good side comes back, it's like the purest drug in existance. Long road ahead.

Stay strong brother I went through the bpd hell myself I know the withdraws your going through right now, if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me, it certainly helped me having people to talk to when going through it.

 

[Roober]

Hi all, fortunate enough to have stumbled across this site today. I'm 3 days into NC after 7 years. I like Exhausted suffer with an analytical mind and find it near impossible to have things left unresolved, it's pure torture. On top of the hammer blow that is being told after 7 years that she's 'not sure anymore'. Living out of a suitacse right now couchsurfing as we share(d) a house.. that I gave my blood sweat and tears to fully renovating over the 5 years we've been there. I was juggling building a business at the same time, near broke me in the porcess (of which was my fault when not being affectionate at the end of each day) and also dealing with her BPD issues. I'm stunned at how many of you have suffered at the hands of a BPD, surely there's a big correlation here? She would blow up all the time, and I would know the second she opened her mouth that she was the 'other' her. It could last a few hours, or a few months in one case, behaviour became cold, emotionless towards me, volatile and super nasty. This time she seems to have been there for about 6 weeks with only a few 'normal' appearances, and then she went as far as giving me the boot a few days ago. No lie, I love her to the ends of the earth, i've known her 10 years, and as i've read here, the highs in these realtionships do keep you hooked, and you suffer the downers blinded by the 'better' them. She's also a cracker, like the kind that everyone would comment on when we were at functions or such, some douchbags not even believeing she was with me (im not the worst looking guy), but she is a 10. This crazy her will have a new guy prob already, but she will eventually snap back at some point and come knocking, I know it. Need to get my head straight before that happens. F$$K it's hard. Her 30th tomorrow, going to be tough not breaking. Saying goodbye to the crazy side is damn easy, when the good side comes back, it's like the purest drug in existance. Long road ahead.

Several of us here have been through it. I can tell you complete no contact is the best way to go about it. Read, talk to people, and start meeting women when you are ready.

 

[Daximus]

Really appreciate all the support guys, wish i'd checked in sooner as I f**ked up and am so p**sed at myself now. She messaged me late last night, the 'better' her, appealing to all my vulnerable senses, using old pet names etc. I buckled, it was late, I'd had a s**tty day, and only being a few days in, am at my weakest. We engaged in a short txt convo as she messaged to tell me my new passport was delivered. I had to reply, and started with being really short and blunt, just to organise collecting my passport, but then I caved and started talking about things, only a couple messages, but then she went cold and knew instantly i'd screwed up. Back to day 1 for me. Feeling a little stronger based on how p**sed I am at myself though which I figure is good. I still have to move most of my stuff out, but going back there is going to be a killer... what would you suggest, get it done now whilst at my weakest and most likely to falter, or wait until resistance has built up after more time NC but risk going backwards?? A tough one.

 

[Roober]

Really appreciate all the support guys, wish i'd checked in sooner as I f**ked up and am so p**sed at myself now. She messaged me late last night, the 'better' her, appealing to all my vulnerable senses, using old pet names etc. I buckled, it was late, I'd had a s**tty day, and only being a few days in, am at my weakest. We engaged in a short txt convo as she messaged to tell me my new passport was delivered. I had to reply, and started with being really short and blunt, just to organise collecting my passport, but then I caved and started talking about things, only a couple messages, but then she went cold and knew instantly i'd screwed up. Back to day 1 for me. Feeling a little stronger based on how p**sed I am at myself though which I figure is good. I still have to move most of my stuff out, but going back there is going to be a killer... what would you suggest, get it done now whilst at my weakest and most likely to falter, or wait until resistance has built up after more time NC but risk going backwards?? A tough one.

Get all your stuff asap. Write off anything you don't get. Then never contact her again.

 

[Andreas]

Hey fellas first post here, figured I'd join in this 'challenge'.

An old fling (who has a new boyfriend/fwb) contacts me every 3 weeks it seems. I didn't reply to her last message, but I replied to the one previous to that. Being the sadistic goofball I am I still check out her Facebook from time to time and look at photos of me and her. Positively, I haven't opened any of her Snapchat stories and the anger has been driving my gym gains well.

Starting today I will:

• Ignore her messages (facebook, text messages, snapchat etc.)
• Not check her facebook
• Not open her snapchat stories
• Not look at photos of me and her

If I have forgotten anything I'll make an update to this post. Wish me luck!

 

[5chm1dd1]

It's been 4 1/2 months since she left me.
No contact or anything since then.

She's still on my mind every day, even though I've started to approach girls (with success) and focusing on my life. Also I'm busy every day with sports, other Hobbys, trips and so on.

Why the hell is it so hard to get over your first love ffs?