The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[QuadDeuces]

Will go out finding the article.
But I have read so much about BPD and Psychopathy, almost all books on the mainstream subject years ago.

The funny thing after the breakup with the BPD girl, went through a period of anxiety and depression and consulted a psychologist for a few times. When she started talking about the ex and the relationship problems I had the idea I knew more about psychopathy and cluster B than the shrink who was treating my anxiety issues.

 

[MrAddiction]

I had the idea I knew more about psychopathy and cluster B than the shrink who was treating my anxiety issues.

What indeed is oftentime the case! ;-)

 

[MrAddiction]

see more red flags than a North Korean parade

From my own experience. When we start actively ignoring red Flags, even if it is just a single one, that is when misery begins.

 

[QuadDeuces]

From my own experience. When we start actively ignoring red Flags, even if it is just a single one, that is when misery begins.

Yes 100% right, but the pvssy is so good, and in the beginning they are only tiny little red flags, barely visible.

 

[MrAddiction]

Yes 100% right, but the pvssy is so good, and in the beginning they are only tiny little red flags, barely visible.

Yes, I know way to good.
She has nearly no Girl Friends and almost only guy Friends? Ah...that little red flag can not be that Bad. She is so sweet. Do I realy want to let this one pass only just because of some guys on the internet telling this to be a red flag. Nah- I will be able to handle that. ;-)

Hahaha, at least I can laugh at myself;-)

 

[MrAddiction]

Yes 100% right, but the pvssy is so good, and in the beginning they are only tiny little red flags, barely visible.

We make them little, because we Do nor want to see the truth and let this one pass. You yourself Said that you saw it all in the begining and even joked about it.

 

[Roober]

We make them little, because we Do nor want to see the truth and let this one pass. You yourself Said that you saw it all in the begining and even joked about it.

This! x100... We minimize the red flags in an attempt to justify staying with these women. My exgf banged her baby daddy years after we was married, regularly flirted with married men, told me "I am a terrible girlfriend" and told me guys she was in exclusive relationships for months meant nothing to her..

People will tell you who they are, you just have to listen! If I wasn't thinking with my ding dong, I would have split it off long before she did... The problem was she would confidently say, "I have been alone a couple years and am completely comfortable with myself"... blah blah blah... so it had me thinking, "wow, this chick has her stuff together..."

 

[MrAddiction]

My ex BPD works like a Clockwork.....
Since the breakup she contacted me at every two weeks - like a routine.
You all know I Do nor respond to any of this for 3 month now, Four weeks ago it was my Birthday, she tried to invite herself but I ignored it. She called me on my birthday- I ignored. I just send her a thank you honey. From her reply I knew it pissed her off;-)
I thougt that's it. If somebody would treat me like this, I would never contact again.
This Morning I woke up and thougt to myself "hey Four weeks no sign of life from my ex. I'm done"
Guess whos Email was in my inbox, when I just arrived home, a few minutes ago: my BPD ex!
Telling me that she doesn' t See me in in the gym anymore. Guess what: I make sure to nor see her there.
Asking me some random technical bull****. ... Fcuk. Shall she ask her ex or google it Some of it might imply her having moved. Do nor know. Do nor whant to know. Should have deleted it at first sight.
Does anyone here know if the Email in the IPad can he filtered. I use an aol adress and aol has no sich option.
For good sake I will bot reply!
This bitches really work like clockworks!

 

[QuadDeuces]

My ex BPD works like a Clockwork.....
Since the breakup she contacted me at every two weeks - like a routine.
You all know I Do nor respond to any of this for 3 month now, Four weeks ago it was my Birthday, she tried to invite herself but I ignored it. She called me on my birthday- I ignored. I just send her a thank you honey. From her reply I knew it pissed her off;-)
I thougt that's it. If somebody would treat me like this, I would never contact again.
This Morning I woke up and thougt to myself "hey Four weeks no sign of life from my ex. I'm done"
Guess whos Email was in my inbox, when I just arrived home, a few minutes ago: my BPD ex!
Telling me that she doesn' t See me in in the gym anymore. Guess what: I make sure to nor see her there.
Asking me some random technical bull****. ... Fcuk. Shall she ask her ex or google it Some of it might imply her having moved. Do nor know. Do nor whant to know. Should have deleted it at first sight.
Does anyone here know if the Email in the IPad can he filtered. I use an aol adress and aol has no sich option.
For good sake I will bot reply!
This bitches really work like clockworks!

Dont reply man, like you said its like quitting smoking and people dangle cigarettes under your nose.

I was so happy you pointed out BPD yesterday night, she ticked all the boxes except cutting herself.
I've gone over it in my head and it all makes sense. BPDs just come in many forms and sizes that was why I wasnt prepared and didnt expect her to be BPD too.

Thanks again.

 

[MrAddiction]

Dont reply man, like you said its like quitting smoking and people dangle cigarettes under your nose.

I was so happy you pointed out BPD yesterday night, she ticked all the boxes except cutting herself.
I've gone over it in my head and it all makes sense. BPDs just come in many forms and sizes that was why I wasnt prepared and didnt expect her to be BPD too.

Thanks again.

Mine didn 't cur either. And like yours it was my second one. So I should have known what I was dealing with. I even had been careful in the begining. But I didn't know there were different types. So i slided into the fcuked up process and stayed way to long. When it all went down signs became clearer and clearer. And after I broke up, I made up a scenario how things will run for her. I was not really surpised that she did as expected the exact BPD Routine. Had the guy I was suspecting her to cheat on me, move in quickly. He broke up with his wife for her even though having two kids. It was as if I was able to look into the future. I just read about NPD the Last month and there is a lot that fits too - but who cares: Cluster B is Cluster B.

 

[MrAddiction]

Smoking? i Do more compare it with heroin.
Good Song to stay sober,

Must have been writen from a guy who had to deal with one of these bytches.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Well the hoovering has begun.
Received a text an hour ago with "Hi, how are you?"

Thinking whats the strongest move to make, ignoring it or tell her something extremely harsh like "fvck off you psycho bytch go manipulate someone else".

Ignoring is the stronger move right?

 

[MrAddiction]

Well the hoovering has begun.
Received a text an hour ago with "Hi, how are you?"

Thinking whats the strongest move to make, ignoring it or tell her something extremely harsh like "fvck off you psycho bytch go manipulate someone else".

Ignoring is the stronger move right?

Ignore, ignore, ignore.
She is searching for attention. Any reply is feeding her need for attention.
Indifference is what you and I are aiming for.
Stay no contact.

 

[dude99]

Well the hoovering has begun.
Received a text an hour ago with "Hi, how are you?"

Thinking whats the strongest move to make, ignoring it or tell her something extremely harsh like "fvck off you psycho bytch go manipulate someone else".

Ignoring is the stronger move right?

Just ignore it. Do not reply in any way. Replying will only feed the beast and delay you moving forward

 

[5chm1dd1]

5 1/2 months since breakup, 5 Months NC

Been busy in my job lately, which is good (as a soldier, I travel a lot, which I really adore)
Last Friday I was in my hometown, a girl from half across the country (7/10) came to visit me, and we were just driving to my tattoo appointment. And, there goes my ex, in a car with another dude. Even though i had that chick in my car, playing with my d1ck while driving, it still hurt a.f.
During the tattoo I was pretty much focused on that pain, which was good at that moment, at least better than the emotional one.

Afterwards, we went to a concert, which was really cool. Came home, had fun, but then as she felt asleep, it hit me pretty brutal.
Since then, I was somewhat drawn back into a state of constant pain, not that bad as it used to be 2 months ago, but still hurts like hell.

Ffs, over 5 Months, 2 ONS and 1 FWB, and still it hurts. The f is wrong with me? f@cking first love ffs.

 

[MrAddiction]

Ffs, over 5 Months, 2 ONS and 1 FWB, and still it hurts. The f is wrong with me? f@cking first love ffs.

Nothing fcuking Wrong with you. Had a similar Situation, Five month after the breakup, I was out to have fun on a concert with a Girl and met my ex there with her new Boyfriend. That night I was totaly down Eventhoug having sex with another Girl. Maybe thats just Part of the game.

 

[QuadDeuces]

I'm not really an active follower of religion but thought this is powerful.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Nothing fcuking Wrong with you. Had a similar Situation, Five month after the breakup, I was out to have fun on a concert with a Girl and met my ex there with her new Boyfriend. That night I was totaly down Eventhoug having sex with another Girl. Maybe thats just Part of the game.

I'm no where near 5 months post break up, but the minute she started pulling away, I got back on the horse immediately, thank god for Tinder.
When I'm wtching a movie and fooling around with another girl, it feels liberating in the moment. But when I drive home I feel sad and lonely.

 

[5chm1dd1]

I'm not really an active follower of religion but thought this is powerful.

Great point he has, but still it's freakin' hard to get to the point to really live by that.
But well, as MrAddiction said it, it's probably part of the game. And the eyes get used to the darkness after a while, so f@ck it.

 

[Roober]

I'm no where near 5 months post break up, but the minute she started pulling away, I got back on the horse immediately, thank god for Tinder.
When I'm wtching a movie and fooling around with another girl, it feels liberating in the moment. But when I drive home I feel sad and lonely.

you need to deal with it. Cry, journal, do whatever... If it has been 5 months, and you still struggle, you have not dealt with the core issue. Other women serve a nice distraction, but do not fill the void. Figure out what is causing the void, and deal with it. You may need to just be alone for a bit, a month or more, doing things you enjoy without the company of a woman. Once you can get over the lonely feeling, you can move forward.

This is one of the biggest reason I have tailored back my OLD use. Getting attention from women is nice, but you have to be okay with not having any of it. Once you are true to yourself, you can be true to someone else.