The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Darrenez]

DAY 30
So somewhere a few pages ago is the info about my situation. My ex finished with me as she wanted to be single. She was 9 years younger and I treated her so well compared to her ex's who cheated on her. So done no contact with her and I haven't contacted her at!

Since then in under a month, I have been busy:

New years eve took a young lady back to mine last night, bit of a age gap but was an amazing night..perfect way to see the new year in!
Had another one night stand 3 weeks ago
Been on 4 dates all with women I know liked me more than I was into them and could have relations with.

Even if my ex contacted me now I don't think I would ever message her back..I've done so much in a month! Until a month ago, I'd never had a 1 night stand ever even at my age 35. I have since had 2. Not sure if thats a good thing or not though lol..I didn't love my ex or have really strong feelings for her so obviously my situation is different from some peoples on here who may have been with their exs for a long time/had meaningful feelings for them.

 

[xstang77]

It's been a month since I've seen her,nc aside from when I sent her a text wishing her daughter a merry Christmas on the 24th haven't heard anything from her at all,I'm still hankering for her pretty bad. I have no friends and Can't find any dates, I just go to work and go home to sit alone, pretty depressed and not doing to hot.banged my bpd ex 3 times in one night a couple weeks ago, aside from that nothing,can't find a girl that looks even half as good as my ex,never been treated that good by a woman in my life.i can't let this go I just wanna talk things out with her.

 

[wonderer]

Day 10 of NC.

I was with the girl for 4 months. The first 3 months were great, she would buy me gifts, kino me, make time for me, could not sleep before seeing me, wished she could see me everyday. I played with her emotions, I would not speak to her for days. She started seeing someone else and went cold on me, she then started to insult me and told me about him, she blocked me. It was all my fault.

She then came back to me after he left for his home country, I was the plan B. I was kissing her again, I never slept with her because I thought she was a virgin, she told me about how she f*cked him. It killed me. I went a bit more beta to try and be different than before and learn from my mistakes, wed talk more, more on the phone rather than texting, id call her in the mornings to wake her up for classes, id see her more than once a week. She then said she wanted to be friends, massive out of the blue for me seeing as none of the actions pointed towards this - holding hands, head in chest, kissing.

I told her no, think about what you want, she was sure she wanted to be friends. Ive been NC since, havent heard anything. Spinning one plate, got a day 2 tomorrow. Need more plates, all I can think about is her though.

Yesterday she text me 3 times after roughly 2 weeks, messages went:

Her: hey caramel (nickname she used to give me) happy new year!

5 mins later: why have you not been texting me?

25 mins later: come on... dont be a bastard on new years eve

I want to see if I can turn this into a fwb, shes not in the country at the moment, so I wasnt going to reply for a few days, and reply with "been busy" ive now decided that she needs to feel the loss of her decision, so thinking not to reply and keep NC, will drive her nuts, see if she reaches out again whilst me dating other women.

 

[finality]

Yesterday she text me 3 times after roughly 2 weeks, messages went:

Her: hey caramel (nickname she used to give me) happy new year!

5 mins later: why have you not been texting me?

25 mins later: come on... dont be a bastard on new years eve

I want to see if I can turn this into a fwb, shes not in the country at the moment, so I wasnt going to reply for a few days, and reply with "been busy" ive now decided that she needs to feel the loss of her decision, so thinking not to reply and keep NC, will drive her nuts, see if she reaches out again whilst me dating other women.

Do not reply at all!

She needs to feel the loss for at least 2-3 months.

 

[exhausted]

Second day no contact haha.
Its been off and on for 2 months.
More than anything just very disappointed and feel betrayed to give so much time and be fantastic to her and her kid and not be appreciated when it comes down to it. Appreciation is showed thro actions not words. My fault tho, i have to take responsibility knowing she is bipolar and has princess syndrome, a spoiled brat as this girl can be down right mean. I am not mean natured to women as i have 3 sisters i am very close to, even fighting and playings sports violently all my life, i can separate the emotions where a woman who is bipolar or emotionally unstable can not.
I figured the problem some of us have not getting rid of a bipolar gf when we know we should and the reason is we really are very close in connection to them, really best friends on top of a gf. When they flip and then come back they are very open and show strength to get things back on track and are very loving and affectionate, well until the next time in a few days when the roller coaster resumes.
Its tough to cut off somebody u care for after 3 years even when u know its the best.

 

[DamnSon]

I got dumped Dec 9th I went NC immediately she contacted me dec 21st I invited her over said she was leaving to go back home for college break. I didn't reply. No Merry Christmas or happy new year from her either. I have 4 girls lined up, I could bang them all but I dunno, still miss her..but I have needs lol. She's been looking at all my snaps still of me having a hell of a time lately

 

[Carpathian]

Do not reply at all!

She needs to feel the loss for at least 2-3 months.

^^^^This^^^^

 

[Carpathian]

I got dumped Dec 9th I went NC immediately she contacted me dec 21st I invited her over said she was leaving to go back home for college break. I didn't reply. No Merry Christmas or happy new year from her either. I have 4 girls lined up, I could bang them all but I dunno, still miss her..but I have needs lol. She's been looking at all my snaps still of me having a hell of a time lately

Ignore her at all costs when reaches out as she is sure to do. Even if you do want to get back with her, ignore her for a month at least. Her sense of entitlement will drive her mad when you do this and make her want you and make her realize what she's lost. If you cave after the first message or two she will know you are easy and will resent you for it again. It's the same if a chick is 18 or 50. Educated or stupid. Deep down they are all the same, little girls who think they are princesses. She must know that you are not a toy to be thrown to the floor during her emotional tantrums.

 

[wonderer]

^^^^This^^^^

Do not reply at all!

She needs to feel the loss for at least 2-3 months.

That long? We only went out for 4 months, last month was very rocky. she has lots of options, i want some sex

 

[Carpathian]

That long? We only went out for 4 months, last month was very rocky. she has lots of options, i want some sex

Yes, that long.
Search for another woman and forget her. That's what you should be doing anyway.

 

[DamnSon]

Ignore her at all costs when reaches out as she is sure to do. Even if you do want to get back with her, ignore her for a month at least. Her sense of entitlement will drive her mad when you do this and make her want you and make her realize what she's lost. If you cave after the first message or two she will know you are easy and will resent you for it again. It's the same if a chick is 18 or 50. Educated or stupid. Deep down they are all the same, little girls who think they are princesses. She must know that you are not a toy to be thrown to the floor during her emotional tantrums.

Honestly I feel like she'd give up if I didn't answer like "take the hint" I honestly just feel like being the **** do you want? Do you want to **** or not, if not don't message me anymore lol

 

[finality]

Day 5. Probably close to 10 recycles with a BPD.

Last time I banged was 3 months ago.

Pretty much lost most of my attachment at this point but she still calls, texts, ect..

Need to put the nail in the coffin once and for all.

 

[ispep430]

It's NC day 22 , it's been hard, I've been keeping myself busy by going out and meeting new people. I have known the girl for 2 years and dated for 1. We were engaged and I was ready to purchase the ring. We've broken up multiple times, each time we ended up getting back together. I thought that things would change and we can work things out. In hind sight it would have been a lot better if I initiated NC the first time and never returned. This relationship is toxic. She can find things to criticize me even on our best weeks. I've taken her on a 3 week vacation around Europe. I've given her designer bags. She's even taken a watch from me which I treasure.

I'm moving on , and things are going to be a lot bettter.

I have a question for everyone on the forum . She still has my car that I let her drive when we were dating. How do I go about getting it back? Do I stop the NC and message her to get the car back?

 

[Roober]

Almost two months...

Decided to get completely off social media. I made the mistake of looking at her snapchat around christmas time... doh! then started thinking about her again. Journaling hard now to help get some thoughts out. The dates with other women helps at the time, but the emptiness I get when I am not talking to other women is alarming. Considering going to therapy ($20 per session through my insurance) just to help me reason things out. I feel like if I don't have a woman to talk to constantly, I get an empty feeling. I have identified it, but not exactly sure how to address it... probably comes from childhood abandonment issues.

 

[exhausted]

It's NC day 22 , it's been hard, I've been keeping myself busy by going out and meeting new people. I have known the girl for 2 years and dated for 1. We were engaged and I was ready to purchase the ring. We've broken up multiple times, each time we ended up getting back together. I thought that things would change and we can work things out. In hind sight it would have been a lot better if I initiated NC the first time and never returned. This relationship is toxic. She can find things to criticize me even on our best weeks. I've taken her on a 3 week vacation around Europe. I've given her designer bags. She's even taken a watch from me which I treasure.

I'm moving on , and things are going to be a lot bettter.

I have a question for everyone on the forum . She still has my car that I let her drive when we were dating. How do I go about getting it back? Do I stop the NC and message her to get the car back?

I know the feeling of toxic.

Contact her parent or friend who can get the message to her about the car. Stay nc as she will try to cause u emotional harm

 

[DamnSon]

It's NC day 22 , it's been hard, I've been keeping myself busy by going out and meeting new people. I have known the girl for 2 years and dated for 1. We were engaged and I was ready to purchase the ring. We've broken up multiple times, each time we ended up getting back together. I thought that things would change and we can work things out. In hind sight it would have been a lot better if I initiated NC the first time and never returned. This relationship is toxic. She can find things to criticize me even on our best weeks. I've taken her on a 3 week vacation around Europe. I've given her designer bags. She's even taken a watch from me which I treasure.

I'm moving on , and things are going to be a lot bettter.

I have a question for everyone on the forum . She still has my car that I let her drive when we were dating. How do I go about getting it back? Do I stop the NC and message her to get the car back?

Wtf of course you do. Man up, say "yo I need My ****ing car back" if she refuses we'll tell her you'll press charges

 

[Carpathian]

Respectfully, some of you need to man the fvkk up. Post 1 of this thread tells you exactly what to do. Do not contact her. DO NOT STALK HER. Can it be more simple?

 

[exhausted]

Respectfully, some of you need to man the fvkk up. Post 1 of this thread tells you exactly what to do. Do not contact her. DO NOT STALK HER. Can it be more simple?

Understood.
Can be difficult though, sadly my mind receives peace when i have reason and understanding, which i do and dont.
Life is easier for heartless people like women, who most are ****ty these days.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Understood.
Can be difficult though, sadly my mind receives peace when i have reason and understanding, which i do and dont.
Life is easier for heartless people like women, who most are ****ty these days.

exhausted, that is your reason understanding... That women can be heartly and $hitty. Now you can have peace.

 

[finality]

Alright guys I'm going to offer some hope here even though it will likely be 100% disregarded just as I disregarded the advice of previous members..but it does get better!

If you guys go back and read some of my posts I was a complete mess.. I almost wanted to kill myself because the internal dialogue was relentless and I could not shut it off. All I could think about was her.. replaying everything we did and didn't do together.. trying to find meanings in everything.. analyzing everything.. no sleep.. couldn't eat.. I was your typical heart broken washed up on the side of the road victim.

But now I'm on top of my game again.. new girl is younger, hotter, better in bed, more affectionate.. I never thought it would happen but I would keep my current girl over my ex.

NC is a must guys.. not to win her back.. but for your own health. I used NC to make her miss me/get her back.. it worked but she pulled the same **** as she did before a few months later and I was sent back to the gutter. Once its over its over. Don't make the same mistakes as I did!

I know there will be different opinions on this but I would stay away from dating other women after splitting with an ex. You want to replace your ex, especially because your ex most likely will be with another guy within a week or so of splitting but you are just replacing an old drug and with a weaker version that will just make you crave something stronger.. you ex.

Work on yourself, do the right things, stay NC. Plant the seeds and wait.. don't force it.