Dude yes! Tonight is hard, she liked my FB status today and Idk why is that like a "hey I'm still here" thing? I was sure I'd get a text or something after that. Like a "hey" or "I miss you" maybe she's too chicken **** too reach out? Because she thinks I'll reject her? But if she wanted me back and realized she made a mistake I'm sure she'd do it. Missing her perfect skin and smile today boy am I. Guess I'll hit the beer
Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
I was at the bar last night surrounded by a lot of hot chicks but it just made me more tired of the game and miss the moments I had with this chick. Didn't need all that, we would just go on adventures and love. Yeah the relationship was too short to notice any real flaws too. ****ing a
BeTheChange
Master Don Juan
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- Jun 28, 2015
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I broke up with my ex on 18 July 2016, or rather she ghosted me once she had secured a new boyfriend.
During the first month I was at my lowest point ever. Depressed, loss of focus, confused, severe oneitis....she spat on my face, stabbed me in the back and p*ssed on my dead body and yet I still craved her. The joys of BPDs. It takes a break up to make you realise how weak you've become.
Fast forward a mere five months and I have just banged four women in the space of a week, the last one a smoking hot Italiana who is better than my ex in every tangible way.
I have another date tonight with a cute blonde who is also hotter (and has bigger t*ts) than my ex. Five months ago, everyday I woke up I was immediately hit with immense sadness and a deep sense of longing. Now everyday I wake up I do so with a massive grin on my face.
Every facet of my life is better than when I was with my ex and better still, she knows this. The best revenge really is a live well lived.
Knowledge is power. Rather you learn the hard way, than not at all. And I would recommend taking some time to address some of the underlying issues that brought you to this point.
Trust me boys. It WILL get better. It WILL get easier. And you WILL emerge from this experience as better men.
During the first month I was at my lowest point ever. Depressed, loss of focus, confused, severe oneitis....she spat on my face, stabbed me in the back and p*ssed on my dead body and yet I still craved her. The joys of BPDs. It takes a break up to make you realise how weak you've become.
Fast forward a mere five months and I have just banged four women in the space of a week, the last one a smoking hot Italiana who is better than my ex in every tangible way.
I have another date tonight with a cute blonde who is also hotter (and has bigger t*ts) than my ex. Five months ago, everyday I woke up I was immediately hit with immense sadness and a deep sense of longing. Now everyday I wake up I do so with a massive grin on my face.
Every facet of my life is better than when I was with my ex and better still, she knows this. The best revenge really is a live well lived.
Knowledge is power. Rather you learn the hard way, than not at all. And I would recommend taking some time to address some of the underlying issues that brought you to this point.
Trust me boys. It WILL get better. It WILL get easier. And you WILL emerge from this experience as better men.
5chm1dd1
Don Juan
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- Nov 18, 2016
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- 30
It's been almost 4 months since my Breakup, work on myself is continuing, but I'm still far away from forgetting her, or giving up hope and the longing.
As far as I can tell, it's simply because it was my first relationship, so I guess it just takes some more time. At least, I hope so.
Day 50
No reach-out from here till now. I am glad she don't try it. Actually i dont know how I would react if she reaches out. The constant thinking of her stopped after i met/talked/missed chances to meet awesome women. I realized how broken this woman is and how magnificantly manipulated me (scary, i tell you). Slowly i change my attitude towards life and towards myself. Sure i still have trouble and problems with things and my behaviour towards specific situations - whatever. This f*ckn planet still spins around and slowly i become the man i deserve to be. I seem to stop denying to myself who i really am.
The most provoking thought i had was seeing myself as a wanderer in a magical world, travelling the world and observing the landscape and with it many beautiful flowers, here known as women. Whenever i am afraid of talking to a woman or remembering back to my ex, i notice the desireful drag of picking this beautiful and paticular flower, making it (and i.e. their scenct) mine. As if there wont be any more beautiful flowers around in this huge wide world... But when I do that, it will end in that flower dying, and with it a part of myself dies, too. Of course i am a beginner in learning the DJ way of life, but my actual task here is seeing myself as part of the magical world and thus learing to use magic to arouse some flowers to life showing it the world that I travel. It is the wanderer who is able to see the world. It is the magic of the wanderer who makes flowers want to travel with him. It is me, who decides the route. It is me who decides whether the flowers will return to their roots or stays with me for a while longer. It is my responsibility to withstand the desire to pluck the flower even tough the scenct of the flowers becomes stronger as it runs around me and tries to impress me so that they can travel a little while longer.
No reach-out from here till now. I am glad she don't try it. Actually i dont know how I would react if she reaches out. The constant thinking of her stopped after i met/talked/missed chances to meet awesome women. I realized how broken this woman is and how magnificantly manipulated me (scary, i tell you). Slowly i change my attitude towards life and towards myself. Sure i still have trouble and problems with things and my behaviour towards specific situations - whatever. This f*ckn planet still spins around and slowly i become the man i deserve to be. I seem to stop denying to myself who i really am.
The most provoking thought i had was seeing myself as a wanderer in a magical world, travelling the world and observing the landscape and with it many beautiful flowers, here known as women. Whenever i am afraid of talking to a woman or remembering back to my ex, i notice the desireful drag of picking this beautiful and paticular flower, making it (and i.e. their scenct) mine. As if there wont be any more beautiful flowers around in this huge wide world... But when I do that, it will end in that flower dying, and with it a part of myself dies, too. Of course i am a beginner in learning the DJ way of life, but my actual task here is seeing myself as part of the magical world and thus learing to use magic to arouse some flowers to life showing it the world that I travel. It is the wanderer who is able to see the world. It is the magic of the wanderer who makes flowers want to travel with him. It is me, who decides the route. It is me who decides whether the flowers will return to their roots or stays with me for a while longer. It is my responsibility to withstand the desire to pluck the flower even tough the scenct of the flowers becomes stronger as it runs around me and tries to impress me so that they can travel a little while longer.
Roober
Master Don Juan
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Day 40 (or so)
Been thinking about her a lot the last couple days. Wanting to reach out... I just keep hearing all these horror stories from you guys about ex this, ex that, and she really wasn't any of that... She treated me well, she was fun to spend time with, she did most of the contact, when we were together, she never gave me any sort of inclination of other dudes, everything was solid. I could only see her every two weeks, but that is because she is a single mommy. She has a good strong family, solid job, not a gold digger in any way. Most of the crap I didn't like isn't really big things (i.e. sleeping in, selfies, etc.)
Been feeling more like I had a good one and just totally muffed it up, and it is eating at me... Talking to other women definitely helps, but I just can't get this feeling out that wants me to reach out and try to figure it out and see if there is still a chance... When she decided to break it off, I was working on this DJ thing and trying to be aloof, so I didn't really get any answers. I was "playing it cool" and acting like "fine, if that's what you want, I am not going to stop you". I suppose that is what bugs me the most, that feeling like I lost a good one...
I guess I just have to wait and continue to do my thing...
Been thinking about her a lot the last couple days. Wanting to reach out... I just keep hearing all these horror stories from you guys about ex this, ex that, and she really wasn't any of that... She treated me well, she was fun to spend time with, she did most of the contact, when we were together, she never gave me any sort of inclination of other dudes, everything was solid. I could only see her every two weeks, but that is because she is a single mommy. She has a good strong family, solid job, not a gold digger in any way. Most of the crap I didn't like isn't really big things (i.e. sleeping in, selfies, etc.)
Been feeling more like I had a good one and just totally muffed it up, and it is eating at me... Talking to other women definitely helps, but I just can't get this feeling out that wants me to reach out and try to figure it out and see if there is still a chance... When she decided to break it off, I was working on this DJ thing and trying to be aloof, so I didn't really get any answers. I was "playing it cool" and acting like "fine, if that's what you want, I am not going to stop you". I suppose that is what bugs me the most, that feeling like I lost a good one...
I guess I just have to wait and continue to do my thing...
Jediknight888
Don Juan
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- 44
Maybe you did have a good one. I would say if you reach out and she acts interested go for it. I think most guys are on here (at least I am) BC the girl I was in to showed interest for a short while but then went back to a guy that was abusive. It was/is hard for me to understand considering that I am a good catch and was great to her. It sounds like you know what you did wrong. If you want her in your life and she wants you in hers then there's nothing standing in your way.
same with my ex dude, but she broke up with me. Why? I did everything pretty good, besides getting a little bit controlling, but I pulled it back. She was ALLLL about me. No horror story or manipulative behavior, she was an easy, sweet go with the flow kinda girl. She liked my FB post yesterday, nothing today. Maybe she's throwing up feelers to see if she still has me. I'm definitely not reaching out though
Jediknight888
Don Juan
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Jediknight888
Don Juan
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- 44
NC Day 12: So I know I'm doing this to get over her.... and I am. However, I think we all are also doing NC BC we want them to contact us. It seems like most guys on here do get contact from these women at some point. On average how long did it take? I know I'm not supposed to care and honestly, I don't even know if I'd reply, but for some reason I'd like to see if she is even bothered by NC.
xstang77
Senior Don Juan
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It really depends on each case, if she had true feelings for you then you'll most likely hear something. It also depends how and why it ended, the first time me and my current ex fvcked my previous bpd ex literally texted me "I miss you" literally while my new girl was freshening up a few minutes afterwards,it's like they know. My previous ex even showed up at my door 3 months later after ignoring her the whole time so it really depends. Day 15 myself btw.
I do honestly think that if we are all writing in this thread and even reach day 40-50 saying that We still miss her and think about her so much, the NC is not working and hurting us much more than it should.
I just went a week with NC, just a few likes here and there in FB, nothing more. But yesterday, I just had to say Hello. Answer from her was instant, but so cold and distant talk, simple : "how are you?", "Good. You?". It pains me so much as at that precise moment I started comparing that conversation to all our previous ones...and said to myself :"How did it come to this?".
I must put the emphasis that this woman does still love me like hell but has decided to put a stop on our LTR (yes, she lives in the US and me in France) because She is persuaded that our story can't go much further. Our last video call a week ago ended in tears and NC until I contacted again yesterday...
The issue is that I still have my tickets and everything booked to see her end of Jan. I'm going to go NC again, see what happens and decide what I should do. But I'm in immense pain right now....
I just went a week with NC, just a few likes here and there in FB, nothing more. But yesterday, I just had to say Hello. Answer from her was instant, but so cold and distant talk, simple : "how are you?", "Good. You?". It pains me so much as at that precise moment I started comparing that conversation to all our previous ones...and said to myself :"How did it come to this?".
I must put the emphasis that this woman does still love me like hell but has decided to put a stop on our LTR (yes, she lives in the US and me in France) because She is persuaded that our story can't go much further. Our last video call a week ago ended in tears and NC until I contacted again yesterday...
The issue is that I still have my tickets and everything booked to see her end of Jan. I'm going to go NC again, see what happens and decide what I should do. But I'm in immense pain right now....
Jediknight888
Don Juan
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Day 13: I deactivated my SM accounts today. They are delaying my healing process and it's too easy to post **** that clearly shows her I'm thinking about her or at least the situation. So I'm going MIA for a while.
To be honest NC has been very difficult. Everything I have in my life I have BC I aggressively pursued it. Not doing that with this woman has been so f'ing difficult.
Anyway.... on to day 14
To be honest NC has been very difficult. Everything I have in my life I have BC I aggressively pursued it. Not doing that with this woman has been so f'ing difficult.
Anyway.... on to day 14
Roober
Master Don Juan
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Good stuff man! I had to stop using snapchat altogether, because I couldn't resist the urge to look at her snaps. We were never friends on Facebook, so that was never an issue. Most of the crap on there is just junk anyways.
Jediknight888
Don Juan
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Sometimes they just want the security of knowing that you're still there. Be careful.
Jediknight888
Don Juan
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Day 14: today I keep thinking f it. This is the girl I want and I'm willing to turn my life upside down to get her. So far my relationship with her has been kept a secret from everyone. BC I was seperated from my wife and she was cheating on her LT BF (which she told me they had broken up).
So I keep thinking f it tell the whole world and go after her. It might backfire. So I'm thinking of emailing her to say hey just FYI I've decided I'm letting the whole f'ing world know about us and I'm coming for you full stop. Give me some opinions please?
So I keep thinking f it tell the whole world and go after her. It might backfire. So I'm thinking of emailing her to say hey just FYI I've decided I'm letting the whole f'ing world know about us and I'm coming for you full stop. Give me some opinions please?
Roober
Master Don Juan
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She broke up with you to go back to another guy. If she wants to work it out, are you willing to accept that you are her second option? After two weeks, I started to feel a low again. It gets better when you start going out with other women, talking to people, and getting out.
I posted a couple days ago that I was thinking about reaching out and sending a simple text. I went out on Tuesday, had a fantastic date, and then decided against the text. Mine didn't leave for another guy (as far as I know) and likely just was tired of my neediness. There is plenty more fish in the sea. She may have been a good one, but there are plenty more good ones out there...
Pickup "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi... I have a hard time putting it down because it just seems to make sense with the whole female imperative. The whole concept about plate spinning is about finding the best one for you; not just about getting laid. You should do it long enough till it becomes ingrained in your DNA. When you decide to get into an LTR, it will be on YOUR terms, not because you are "settling" (me ex wife) or falling for the next one in line (my ex gf). When you have reached this level, your LTR will be one that others admire, while all your other friends are getting divorced/separated or just plain average frustrated chumps! Women have been spinning plates for millenia by keeping orbiters and attention from men. It may not always be sexual, but they let the men think it "could" be. Why the fvck can't we do it? Hypocrisy at its finest, and it so socially accepted, it is fvcking pathetic!
I think my ex was a good one, but SHE made the choice to leave. SHE will have to live with that for the rest of her life. Your ex will be the same. YOU are the prize, SHE is not the prize!
Jediknight888
Don Juan
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ThanK you for the response. Sometimes I need to be talked back from the cliff. This specific scenario was difficult BC of her being unsure about her BF and me being unsure about my wife. This girl is from a poor broken family and I'm a well off doctor. So there was always this hint with her like she didn't totally belive that I was crazy about her. I could tell she thought I was just going to go back to my wife. When that was never my plan. So I sort of feel like she dumped me cold BC she thought I was just using her and now she just wants me to stay away and not confuse her anymore.
So part of me understands her actions. The problem is that she won't f'ING talk to me at all. All my past responses over the last 6 months or so have been met with silence or leave me alone. It's driving me nuts. It's like I can't break through it and show her that I'm for real. WTF.