The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Fireballs]

It's been about 7 months of NC and 8 months since the break up.. The past month I've started to really get over her and feel I'm back to normal.. I work 2 weeks on 1 week off and have just started living in Indonesia on my weeks off as it's only a cheap, short flight and I'm loving it .. the surf is world class and the foreign travellers are easy lays..

On Saturday evening I hear my phone beep and I look and it's a text from her .. All I could think to myself was why are you texting me, we haven't spoken to each other in 7 months .. what could you possibly have to say..

Anyway I opened it and it read -

''Hey Fireballs! hope you're going really well merry christmas/happy new year time! I thought you might like to know that Im not coming back to (our town) after my trip over christmas... I hope you're still enjoying it here, it's a special place ''

Anyway I didn't respond and just deleted the message..

Why would she reach out when it's clear I've moved on ? Guilt ? Validation ?

 

[Darrenez]

It's been about 7 months of NC and 8 months since the break up.. The past month I've started to really get over her and feel I'm back to normal.. I work 2 weeks on 1 week off and have just started living in Indonesia on my weeks off as it's only a cheap, short flight and I'm loving it .. the surf is world class and the foreign travellers are easy lays..

On Saturday evening I hear my phone beep and I look and it's a text from her .. All I could think to myself was why are you texting me, we haven't spoken to each other in 7 months .. what could you possibly have to say..

Anyway I opened it and it read -

''Hey Fireballs! hope you're going really well merry christmas/happy new year time! I thought you might like to know that Im not coming back to (our town) after my trip over christmas... I hope you're still enjoying it here, it's a special place ''

Anyway I didn't respond and just deleted the message..

Why would she reach out when it's clear I've moved on ? Guilt ? Validation ?

To be honest, I think she is just feeding you a line to see if you would bite?..Maybe she wants some attention for you , to see if she can still have you..Anyway you done exactly the right thing and deleted her message. You will probably receive another one at Christmas, so you do the same mate.

Day 15 no contact, slept last night with a blonde stunner with giant b%$bs, met her online however I didn't use protection and now I feel worried. I mean she said she was looking for a relationship etc on the phone but met up with me (a complete stranger) with no knickers on.

I'm not usually like that at all and very responsible and careful. It does help to move on and forget about your ex. So a date Saturday night with a stunner and some action last night, I can say that I am definitely doing well after the breakup from my ex.

 

[Roober]

I'm still a little bit affected by my breakup nine months later and I am not ashamed admitting it. It gets easier and I am great at the moment and been with another woman for four months but like I said a few posts ago, sometimes it takes a long time to really flush an ex out of your system. When you know in your heart you were a kind, generous, decent man, you were not a doormat and you showed them a good time and where you did the right thing and they just dump you for absolutely no reason.... ? It really stings.

Really guys, NC is the way. There is no other way. Everyone keeps saying it for a reason and you really must do it. I myself have failed at this too but not this time. Ignored last six correspondences from her since September when she's trying to ensnare me in her BS again and another cycle of on-off.

The underlined is so true. That is what makes getting dumped so hard and why we feel lost afterward. It's like, we always had a great time together, I got the whole mother trucking package(manners, generous, in decent shape, funny, my own place, decent car, and on and on), and I treated her very well. I kept thinking., is asking to see her more than once every two weeks too much? She had me convinced of that...

Anyway, started the rational male last night and it jumps right into ONEitis. I had it bad with her. for the first couple months, she did little things for me. Things she thought was showing love. Afterward, it pretty much stopped. I should have stopped investing in the relationship when she did. That is really what ONEitis is... a one-way relationship which becomes an unhealthy obsession...

Feel like I was conned.... hard...

 

[Jediknight888]

The underlined is so true. That is what makes getting dumped so hard and why we feel lost afterward. It's like, we always had a great time together, I got the whole mother trucking package(manners, generous, in decent shape, funny, my own place, decent car, and on and on), and I treated her very well. I kept thinking., is asking to see her more than once every two weeks too much? She had me convinced of that...

Anyway, started the rational male last night and it jumps right into ONEitis. I had it bad with her. for the first couple months, she did little things for me. Things she thought was showing love. Afterward, it pretty much stopped. I should have stopped investing in the relationship when she did. That is really what ONEitis is... a one-way relationship which becomes an unhealthy obsession...

Feel like I was conned.... hard...

I feel ya. I experienced the same thing. I was having problems with my wife (constantly fighting etc...). Finally I sat her down one day and said this has to change or you're going to lose your husband. She said get out we don't need you. So I left and got my own place. I started getting interested in my assistant at work. She was 21, gorgeous and we were already friends. I knew she was in a LT relationship so one day I just put it out there that if her and her BF ever had problems that I would like to take her out. A few weeks later I stayed late and she followed me into the darkroom to develop xrays.

Then she started coming over to my apartment for lunch, dinner etc... we were hanging out almost daily. It was obvious that i offered her a lot. I have $, im good looking, and I treated her like a princess. On a daily basis I would remind her that I didn't want to continue if she was still with her BF. I would tell her they had to be done for us to continue. Everyday she would talk **** about him. Promise me they were done. Look me in the eye and tell me how serious she was.

I was in a tough position BC I had to chose to work it out with my wife or get divorced. Honestly, I wanted to continue seeing my assistant. After her assuring me how serious she was I caught her BF posting pics of them online. I confronted her and she still denied it. She even told me to ask her family. Ha ha.... finally abut 3-4 months after very little contact she said her heart wanted him and she couldn't help it. She couldn't get over him.

It's now been 8 months later. I'm back with my wife and we've decided to have another child. When my assistant found out she emailed me to confirm that she was pregnant. I said yes. That she f'd me over and she shouldn't be suprised that I'd moved on.

Now she just acts like she hates my guts. After another month of NC. I wrote her just as a friend to say happy turkey day and she blocked me on every social media in existence. She's also totally freaked out that I'm going to tell her BF all of this went on behind his back. I'm not sure what she was thinking. She managed to hurt everyone involved. Just young and dumb I suppose. I definitely felt played. She got what she wanted and didn't care about anyone else.

 

[Jediknight888]

It's been about 7 months of NC and 8 months since the break up.. The past month I've started to really get over her and feel I'm back to normal.. I work 2 weeks on 1 week off and have just started living in Indonesia on my weeks off as it's only a cheap, short flight and I'm loving it .. the surf is world class and the foreign travellers are easy lays..

On Saturday evening I hear my phone beep and I look and it's a text from her .. All I could think to myself was why are you texting me, we haven't spoken to each other in 7 months .. what could you possibly have to say..

Anyway I opened it and it read -

''Hey Fireballs! hope you're going really well merry christmas/happy new year time! I thought you might like to know that Im not coming back to (our town) after my trip over christmas... I hope you're still enjoying it here, it's a special place ''

Anyway I didn't respond and just deleted the message..

Why would she reach out when it's clear I've moved on ? Guilt ? Validation ?

Women are different then men. Men are more focused on the here and now. We think in seconds, minutes, and days. If we don't get something RTF now we think it will never be.

Women can be casual BC they think more long term. They think in terms of months and years. They are OK just waiting and seeing how things develop.

I recently had a women play me while she had a BF the whole time. When I found out and it ended. She said I know where to find you, perhaps we'll continue this in the future. She's thinking I'm going to be sitting around for months and years just waiting for her.

It's almost like time goes by quickly for a man and much much slower for a woman. They seem to be more OK just letting time go by. Just my experience.

So she's obviously throwing you a hook and seeing if you'll bite. They want attention. At all costs! Attention is like air to women. I think you're in a great position BC you aren't emotionally involved. So now you can decide if you want this woman in your life or not. That's the only real question.

 

[Roober]

Women are different then men. Men are more focused on the here and now. We think in seconds, minutes, and days. If we don't get something RTF now we think it will never be.

Women can be casual BC they think more long term. They think in terms of months and years. They are OK just waiting and seeing how things develop.

I recently had a women play me while she had a BF the whole time. When I found out and it ended. She said I know where to find you, perhaps we'll continue this in the future. She's thinking I'm going to be sitting around for months and years just waiting for her.

It's almost like time goes by quickly for a man and much much slower for a woman. They seem to be more OK just letting time go by. Just my experience.

So she's obviously throwing you a hook and seeing if you'll bite. They want attention. At all costs! Attention is like air to women. I think you're in a great position BC you aren't emotionally involved. So now you can decide if you want this woman in your life or not. That's the only real question.

Yup! Men just fall in love much faster than women. If she falls in love quickly, WATCH OUT!

To add on, if my ex contacts me 8 months from now, I would treat her like a potential plate - little investment and hopefully good secks. It is a win-win, well, unless you get emotionally involved again...

 

[Jediknight888]

Day 5 - I feel like I'm physically addicted to this woman I can't wait to break the f ING addiction! I feel the need to contact her and when I do I feel fine for a 3-5 days and then the desire grows. It's getting harder to not contact her as days go by not easier. My brain continually thinks of stuff to say to her or reasons to write to her. She was my assistant at work and so when she dumped me (through text) I lost my assistant as well. Even though it's been 8 months my daughter who is 3 asked today why she doesn't come in to work any more. I thought she had forgotten about her.

I also find myself being hurt still by the whole situation. I still can't believe that it ended as horribly as it did and that even to this day she has continued to be a ***** and won't talk to me. Instead she keeps me blocked on all social media or if she does unblock me it's BC she posts something about her having sex with her boyfriend. Like positions she likes or how she loves it when he grabs her vagina in public.

When she has responded it's always something like I was over you as soon as I left now go away. Obviously she's not and she's still hurting based on her behavior, blocking me, and how she posts these sad black and white pics online.

I've never met anyone as mean and vicious as this woman and it's left me wanting to contact her mainly BC I have a hard time believing that the woman I fell for is really the same person. It's like I keep searching for the woman that I knew and she keeps reminding me that there is only hatred left. I guess I keep looking for closure and she refuses to give any. The whole situation has been so awkward. Determined to keep up the NC.

 

[Roober]

Day 5 - I feel like I'm physically addicted to this woman I can't wait to break the f ING addiction! I feel the need to contact her and when I do I feel fine for a 3-5 days and then the desire grows. It's getting harder to not contact her as days go by not easier. My brain continually thinks of stuff to say to her or reasons to write to her. She was my assistant at work and so when she dumped me (through text) I lost my assistant as well. Even though it's been 8 months my daughter who is 3 asked today why she doesn't come in to work any more. I thought she had forgotten about her.

I also find myself being hurt still by the whole situation. I still can't believe that it ended as horribly as it did and that even to this day she has continued to be a ***** and won't talk to me. Instead she keeps me blocked on all social media or if she does unblock me it's BC she posts something about her having sex with her boyfriend. Like positions she likes or how she loves it when he grabs her vagina in public.

When she has responded it's always something like I was over you as soon as I left now go away. Obviously she's not and she's still hurting based on her behavior, blocking me, and how she posts these sad black and white pics online.

I've never met anyone as mean and vicious as this woman and it's left me wanting to contact her mainly BC I have a hard time believing that the woman I fell for is really the same person. It's like I keep searching for the woman that I knew and she keeps reminding me that there is only hatred left. I guess I keep looking for closure and she refuses to give any. The whole situation has been so awkward. Determined to keep up the NC.

Just let it all out man, even if that means crying yourself to sleep. I didn't start to feel different till week 3 or so. When I started talking to other women, it took the amount I care wayyyyyy down...

 

[Jediknight888]

Just let it all out man, even if that means crying yourself to sleep. I didn't start to feel different till week 3 or so. When I started talking to other women, it took the amount I care wayyyyyy down...

Ha ha no crying. I did when it first happened and I found out she had been f'ing her BF the whole time behind my back. Honestly, I'm not sure what I miss now? I think it's just that lack of closure and the pure hatred toward me that's f'd me. I'm not sure where any of it is coming from so I've wanted to find out. Apparently I'll never get the answer. Moving on. Tomorrow NC day 6. Thx.

 

[Roober]

Ha ha no crying. I did when it first happened and I found out she had been f'ing her BF the whole time behind my back. Honestly, I'm not sure what I miss now? I think it's just that lack of closure and the pure hatred toward me that's f'd me. I'm not sure where any of it is coming from so I've wanted to find out. Apparently I'll never get the answer. Moving on. Tomorrow NC day 6. Thx.

It's the companionship; having someone to talk to at night, talk to about a bad day at work, talk about something great you did, all that stuff... That's how @Carpathian explained it to me, and it really makes a lot of sense. It becomes a security blanket...

 

[DamnSon]

I'm going through a breakup now I'm on day 5 NC, she looks at my Snapchats, big whoop. Dumped me and couldn't give a **** less I guess, regardless of how good I was to her. Grimy dude.

But prior to this my ex of 2 years, we had a crazy, passionate relationship, but ultimately ****ed me over. Anyway after a year maybe even year and a half of NC, she texted me to tell me we should meet up before she "moves" to Florida, I say sure, why not I'll explore this again. I still use to think about her from time to time.. she showed up my house at midnight, piss drunk, we went to the bar, back to my place and had crazy, crazy sex. The next day also. Then we went for a hike and she told me how shes quitting her good job etc to work at the bar again and how she doesnt know what she wants in life bla bla (lost soul, trainwreck) She went home and I haven't really hard from her since. This was back in July. Her best-friend was getting married and I think she may have felt needy.

 

[Firestar786]

It's been 3 weeks today
My ex sent me an email this morning asking how I am.

I have decided to ignore it

 

[Carpathian]

It's the companionship; having someone to talk to at night, talk to about a bad day at work, talk about something great you did, all that stuff... That's how @Carpathian explained it to me, and it really makes a lot of sense. It becomes a security blanket...

Indeed. But we must not let that influence us in the path we know we must tread to rid ourselves of these negative women who drag us down. Note, this is the "no contact" thread. You better believe it that she WILL contact you again if you go no contact, almost certainly if you were a half decent guy and were not an a$$hole. It's THEN that things get more tricky. It is actually MUCH easier if they do NOT contact you again. It is easy that way. But when they do, giving you the sob story, it'll never happen again, I love and miss you, I was going through a bad time, and all that BS, it is THEN, that you need to be strong. And many of us, myself included, have not been and we implode. To hug and kiss her and get physical with her again, it is so tempting, especially if we are in a barren patch with other women (and all of us know that feeling). So we get attached. Again. And then we get dumped. Again. That is why this is the no contact thread. It is much easier said than done.

 

[5chm1dd1]

Indeed. But we must not let that influence us in the path we know we must tread to rid ourselves of these negative women who drag us down. Note, this is the "no contact" thread. You better believe it that she WILL contact you again if you go no contact, almost certainly if you were a half decent guy and were not an a$$hole. It's THEN that things get more tricky. It is actually MUCH easier if they do NOT contact you again. It is easy that way. But when they do, giving you the sob story, it'll never happen again, I love and miss you, I was going through a bad time, and all that BS, it is THEN, that you need to be strong. And many of us, myself included, have not been and we implode. To hug and kiss her and get physical with her again, it is so tempting, especially if we are in a barren patch with other women (and all of us know that feeling). So we get attached. Again. And then we get dumped. Again. That is why this is the no contact thread. It is much easier said than done.

Even if my ex tries to contact me, she'll have a hard time reaching me.
I've blocked her in every possible way, including calls and text, so good luck with that.

It's not that I hate her or anything, but I just don't want my healing process to be interrupted by my past. Plus, I'm not the type of guy who befriends an Ex afterwards, nor ever wants to reconcile, so what's the point in reestablishing contact?

Stay strong guys, week 13 here.

 

[Jediknight888]

Day 7. So far everything has been fine. Still NC. I'm committed to seeing this thing through. Last time it took 30 days BF she responded. I haven't gone 60 BF. I'm a little worried about what to do if she does start contacting me. I don't think it's all that likely. Considering how much of an ass she's been I'm not sure how you even come back from that. There's really nothing she could say. I'll definitely be on her asking for advice shold that happen though.

 

[5chm1dd1]

Day 7. So far everything has been fine. Still NC. I'm committed to seeing this thing through. Last time it took 30 days BF she responded. I haven't gone 60 BF. I'm a little worried about what to do if she does start contacting me. I don't think it's all that likely. Considering how much of an ass she's been I'm not sure how you even come back from that. There's really nothing she could say. I'll definitely be on her asking for advice shold that happen though.

Block her in any possible way dude! Don't even give her the possibility to reach out.

It's not a sign of weakness to do everything you can to keep more pain and suffering away from you, in contrary. This is, in my opinion, a part of being a DJ: doing what is necessary when it's necessary to get yourself back on top asap.

 

[Jediknight888]

Block her in any possible way dude! Don't even give her the possibility to reach out.

It's not a sign of weakness to do everything you can to keep more pain and suffering away from you, in contrary. This is, in my opinion, a part of being a DJ: doing what is necessary when it's necessary to get yourself back on top asap.

You can look at a previous post a few days ago I asked that question. I got replies saying both block and unblock. I have decided that blocking typically means you're not over the person. Otherwise why would you have them blocked at all? I currently have her unblocked, I think as time goes on it shows that I don't give a ****. She can look at my stuff all she wants to. She can contact me all she wants to. I'm not letting her in again. I'd be happy to hear more opinions on the situation, but now if I block her it's going to show that I'm still thinking about her. My 2 cents.

 

[DamnSon]

Really feeling it today fellas.

Tomorrow marks day 6 of NC 7, since she broke up with me. It's so cold and lonely over here on the east-coast and I feel like i'm missing a best-friend, somebody to share things with. She dumped me, but somehow I feel like it must have been my fault? I was damn good to her though, loyal and supportive.. just a little pushy at times and accusatory because she was being shady here and there. Nothing that wasn't easy to workout, but she just didn't want to. She's been looking at all of my snapchats recently, I don't know what this means, maybe she's missing me.. the majority of me wishes she'd contact me.. has only been 6 days, but it would have to be some miracle for her to be like "I made sucha huge mistake I'm so sorry" YEAHhh right.

I don't know man, I'm just really feeling depressed tonight and lonely and I don't even want any other chicks

 

[Jediknight888]

I feel the sameye way in my situation. I finally realized if it ever is going to work it would require her to come back admitting her wrong doing, apologizing, and actually wanting to make things work. You can't make it work with someone who doesn't want to. So the only option is NC. If she really values you then she'll come back and make the necessary changes. If she doesnt, you don't want her anyway.

 

[Roober]

Really feeling it today fellas.

Tomorrow marks day 6 of NC 7, since she broke up with me. It's so cold and lonely over here on the east-coast and I feel like i'm missing a best-friend, somebody to share things with. She dumped me, but somehow I feel like it must have been my fault? I was damn good to her though, loyal and supportive.. just a little pushy at times and accusatory because she was being shady here and there. Nothing that wasn't easy to workout, but she just didn't want to. She's been looking at all of my snapchats recently, I don't know what this means, maybe she's missing me.. the majority of me wishes she'd contact me.. has only been 6 days, but it would have to be some miracle for her to be like "I made sucha huge mistake I'm so sorry" YEAHhh right.

I don't know man, I'm just really feeling depressed tonight and lonely and I don't even want any other chicks

QUIT CHECKING SNAPCHAT! and quit posting crap that she can see! If you can't control yourself, uniinstall it. It is useless garbage anyway. If you can control yourself, just don't share with her. It does not sound like you can though. You are delaying the process.

Do you see yourself justifying her bad behaviors? The first two weeks are rough, trust me... it will get better. The rose colored glasses begin to come off eventually...