resilient
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2005
- Messages
- 1,706
- Reaction score
- 1,410
Day 1
Went into this weekend figuring I probably was going to have to end the 1-mo relationship because of already LTR compatibility issues. Also, to the fact that she said after hooking up last weekend that she's looking for something casual/rebound and not a serious relationship after becoming single for month after being with her ex for six years prior. I wanted to take things slow anyway, but she forced my hand on that one (read below).
In any case, she tells me that she asked her male roommate to drink/get drunk last night and then vaped for 1.5 hours after that with him. Red flag to me that she approached him to do that stuff. I understand people have tough days at work, yet they're playing with fire if they want to drink and smoke with an opposite sex late in the evening on the couch alone in their apartment. That just signals that she can't cope with emotions alone and will lean on a guy when vulnerable. From my experience, vulnerability in a woman leads to kissing/fooling around/sex due to low self-esteem/insecurity issues on her part.
The nail in the coffin came after hooking up with me the weekend prior, she admits that a few days ago she hooked up with some other dude. That action reiterated her frame that I was a casual FWB with other dude(s) in that rotation. Gross. I don't like sharing, so I told her right on that spot that I would stop seeing her. It sucks. I have no plates to balance this oneitis. I told her I wouldn't "ghost" her, but at the same time, I don't want her to mess with my emotions like throwing out bait for something like a vacation FWB hookup after we had "two weeks not talk/text". I think that would jack me up.... I can't do FWB with emotions dialed to a zero.
I'm anxious right now and struggling not to think about this chick even after I was starting to get attached while trying to maintain the DJ frame.
I'm going monk mode for a while, until I'm ready to socialize and be around mutual people with mutual interests again. Thanks to DJs here, @Poon King, @PairPlusRoyalFlush, @Desdinova for helping me keep my self-respect by ending it first.
Went into this weekend figuring I probably was going to have to end the 1-mo relationship because of already LTR compatibility issues. Also, to the fact that she said after hooking up last weekend that she's looking for something casual/rebound and not a serious relationship after becoming single for month after being with her ex for six years prior. I wanted to take things slow anyway, but she forced my hand on that one (read below).
In any case, she tells me that she asked her male roommate to drink/get drunk last night and then vaped for 1.5 hours after that with him. Red flag to me that she approached him to do that stuff. I understand people have tough days at work, yet they're playing with fire if they want to drink and smoke with an opposite sex late in the evening on the couch alone in their apartment. That just signals that she can't cope with emotions alone and will lean on a guy when vulnerable. From my experience, vulnerability in a woman leads to kissing/fooling around/sex due to low self-esteem/insecurity issues on her part.
The nail in the coffin came after hooking up with me the weekend prior, she admits that a few days ago she hooked up with some other dude. That action reiterated her frame that I was a casual FWB with other dude(s) in that rotation. Gross. I don't like sharing, so I told her right on that spot that I would stop seeing her. It sucks. I have no plates to balance this oneitis. I told her I wouldn't "ghost" her, but at the same time, I don't want her to mess with my emotions like throwing out bait for something like a vacation FWB hookup after we had "two weeks not talk/text". I think that would jack me up.... I can't do FWB with emotions dialed to a zero.
I'm anxious right now and struggling not to think about this chick even after I was starting to get attached while trying to maintain the DJ frame.
I'm going monk mode for a while, until I'm ready to socialize and be around mutual people with mutual interests again. Thanks to DJs here, @Poon King, @PairPlusRoyalFlush, @Desdinova for helping me keep my self-respect by ending it first.