The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Lozboss]

day 6.

I feel better, I don't think about her...If I do I get mad, think about the negativities... Makes me bang my head in the wall for what a fool I was for not leaving 2 years ago.

The thing that kills me the most is that I'm alone...no one to talk with, no one to go out with...and then I think too much...It gets worse in the evening hours, when I have no where to go...Watching movies make me depressed most of the time...

Good man.

But keep positive.

Take up a new sport- join a club/hobby, make some new friends. Get on tinder/POF and meet new people.

Not sure where you are based dude time zone wise but just shoot me a pm with your whatsapp and we can chat if you feel alone.

What this show you is that the emptiness can't be filled with Women- you need to use this to make new friends, meet new people and go and put yourself out there.

 

[zoom5]

Good man.

But keep positive.

Take up a new sport- join a club/hobby, make some new friends. Get on tinder/POF and meet new people.

Not sure where you are based dude time zone wise but just shoot me a pm with your whatsapp and we can chat if you feel alone.

What this show you is that the emptiness can't be filled with Women- you need to use this to make new friends, meet new people and go and put yourself out there.

Okay Ill make a whatsapp account If I ever get the need for it
Im from europe by the way..

I kind of have a problem im not going to my university, ill stay home for some time now...and this town that I live in is...dead.

I'll try something...

 

[rsox28]

day 6.

I feel better, I don't think about her...If I do I get mad, think about the negativities... Makes me bang my head in the wall for what a fool I was for not leaving 2 years ago.

The thing that kills me the most is that I'm alone...no one to talk with, no one to go out with...and then I think too much...It gets worse in the evening hours, when I have no where to go...Watching movies make me depressed most of the time...

You gotta get out there, man. Force yourself. The worst part is missing the texts, the making of plans, the contact...if you sit around thinking about all of that you'll drive yourself crazy.

 

[Lozboss]

Okay Ill make a whatsapp account If I ever get the need for it
Im from europe by the way..

I kind of have a problem im not going to my university, ill stay home for some time now...and this town that I live in is...dead.

I'll try something...

Is there a gym? Or a park or somewhere to train/run?

Improve yourself. That can be done anywhere.

Download insanity from the Net and do that on your TV.

A sports club is best though- instant new friends.

 

[Yorkex]

Haven't updated in a while.

She has a new boyfriend for about 4 months now but I made a mistake of sleeping with her when she was dating the new guy
Somehow my ex found out I'm having a birthday dinner with friends next week. ( Thanks alot friends )
Was NC for 3 months and today she called from some random number , picked up and she started apologizing right away for moving on too quick. I just woke up so I was mentally aloof already lool she kept babbling and I kept saying alright ...figured to cut it short so I said I had to go.
She says okay but wants to sit down and talk to get hard feelings out of the way , I said I will try and make time and let her know ...lool she caught my BS and said she is coming to my dinner so we can talk there.
Not wanted to seem bitter , I go okay and she follows by saying , she won't bring her boyfriend just in case I was wondering.

My moment of weakest , PUNISHED dearly. I know for a fact I can't be with her anymore but like any human if you were with for a long time some feelings remain and I think next week is going to be a test of my will power.
I can choose to use her as a booty call but after the first time I figured it was counter productive.
Pray for me guys , if too much alcohol hits I might make some dumb decisions and give some dumb answers.
My new plate is going to be there too :crackup: , might have to video tape this night and watch it the next morning.:rockon:

 

[Lozboss]

Haven't updated in a while.

She has a new boyfriend for about 4 months now but I made a mistake of sleeping with her when she was dating the new guy
Somehow my ex found out I'm having a birthday dinner with friends next week. ( Thanks alot friends )
Was NC for 3 months and today she called from some random number , picked up and she started apologizing right away for moving on too quick. I just woke up so I was mentally aloof already lool she kept babbling and I kept saying alright ...figured to cut it short so I said I had to go.
She says okay but wants to sit down and talk to get hard feelings out of the way , I said I will try and make time and let her know ...lool she caught my BS and said she is coming to my dinner so we can talk there.
Not wanted to seem bitter , I go okay and she follows by saying , she won't bring her boyfriend just in case I was wondering.

My moment of weakest , PUNISHED dearly. I know for a fact I can't be with her anymore but like any human if you were with for a long time some feelings remain and I think next week is going to be a test of my will power.
I can choose to use her as a booty call but after the first time I figured it was counter productive.
Pray for me guys , if too much alcohol hits I might make some dumb decisions and give some dumb answers.
My new plate is going to be there too :crackup: , might have to video tape this night and watch it the next morning.:rockon:

York-Don't let her come to your dinner or change up your plans. Tell her you 'don't want to see her'. Don't ruin your birthday and let her make it about her. If she wants to see you she sees you 1-2-1.

Don't get dragged back into this unless you want her back. If you do then she needs to drop the boyfriend and be serious before you even entertain it.


My Update

End of my first Week of NC. 1 contact from Ex on day 3- Ignored. One text whatsapp this morning- 'hey, how are things?' -Read, Ignored, No reply.

Still strong and feeling like a new man since last Monday- already more positive and confident and less painful. Feel Liberated from my own mental torture chamber. I would recommend NC to anyone.

Still have pangs and sometimes I wonder 'why hasn't she got in touch again since thursday' etc, that will diminish in time I guess as I move on mentally.

thanks for your support guys- means a lot.

 

[Classsy]

Lozboss, hey mate, what's the NC purpose for you btw? Heal yourself or turn her back may be?

Yesterday evening was one of the crappiest, but now it's gone for a while.

 

[Lozboss]

Lozboss, hey mate, what's the NC purpose for you btw? Heal yourself or turn her back may be?

Yesterday evening was one of the crappiest, but now it's gone for a while.

Classy-

Both for me- think they aren't mutually exclusive.

I'll leave the door open but I'm moving on. It's her choice if she chases me and then I will decided Whether or Not I want her back. Meanwhile I live my life and improve myself, date others etc.

That's the endgame.

Sorry to hear yesterday was bad dude- whatsapp if you like. Rmember- keep busy and keep positive. Each day is easier and you get stronger.

 

[zoom5]

Is there a gym? Or a park or somewhere to train/run?

Improve yourself. That can be done anywhere.

Download insanity from the Net and do that on your TV.

A sports club is best though- instant new friends.

Not really...
I just signed up for a part time job delivering stuff to offices...So that's already something good. I have a treadmill at home.... I can walk the dog...
I have stuff to do but it doesn't really involve people contact...Im planing on being home for a month or 2, then I will Go to my university town...
At least I see my friends on weekends

 

[Jmurphy55]

Rapidly feeling much much better about this.
I just remind myself that if I met her tonorrow for the first time, I likely wouldn't be overly interested. Obviously there's 2 years of emotional attachment on top of that which complicates things and there are specific things about her personality that I will really miss and are irreplaceable, but the thing I remind myself is, no matter how many nice things she did for me, no matter how loving she seemed, when the chips were down and the going got remotely tough, she left. Ultimately that tells you all that you need to know.

 

[Lozboss]

Rapidly feeling much much better about this.
I just remind myself that if I met her tonorrow for the first time, I likely wouldn't be overly interested. Obviously there's 2 years of emotional attachment on top of that which complicates things and there are specific things about her personality that I will really miss and are irreplaceable, but the thing I remind myself is, no matter how many nice things she did for me, no matter how loving she seemed, when the chips were down and the going got remotely tough, she left. Ultimately that tells you all that you need to know.

Yes it does.

Good man- chin up. You'll find someone as good if not better who will give you everything that you need and be there for you when things are bad. A true partner. May take years but you'll find them- in that time- ENJOY YOURSELF!

 

[Jmurphy55]

I guess the only question that I'm still asking myself is was I too cool about it? Too quick to accept her decision?

To clarify, she called me said she wanted to meet tomorrow because "I need to talk to you," I basically said there's no need to do it face to face, spoke to her for a little while, said I love you and I'm disappointed but thanks for being honest. She dos actually say "I'm not saying that's it" but surely she was right? I said I had seen it coming and had mentioned of to some friends and we'd been thinking about a holiday in the summer as I didn't think we'd be together. I said I had to go as I had work, she, whilst crying, said is that it? I said I'm not saying that but I have to go to work and do my job.

That evening I changed my relationship status and quickly confirmed plans to go to Magaluf with friends which she would have been aware of as my friend tagged me in a post.

This is probably an irrational thought, but did I kill any hope of reconciliation by seemingly not caring too much and moving on? She actually said, "I'd been dreading this call all day and you're taking it far better than I expected"

Bizarrely I'm not even sure that I care, maybe the reason I dealt with it so well is because I didn't care as much as I should have?

But basically, does anyone think I could have been more negotiable? Maybe said something like "I don't want to lose you but if you feel like this fine, call me if you feel differently" rather than what I did which is change my relationship status that night!

 

[Lozboss]

I guess the only question that I'm still asking myself is was I too cool about it? Too quick to accept her decision?

To clarify, she called me said she wanted to meet tomorrow because "I need to talk to you," I basically said there's no need to do it face to face, spoke to her for a little while, said I love you and I'm disappointed but thanks for being honest. She dos actually say "I'm not saying that's it" but surely she was right? I said I had seen it coming and had mentioned of to some friends and we'd been thinking about a holiday in the summer as I didn't think we'd be together. I said I had to go as I had work, she, whilst crying, said is that it? I said I'm not saying that but I have to go to work and do my job.

That evening I changed my relationship status and quickly confirmed plans to go to Magaluf with friends which she would have been aware of as my friend tagged me in a post.

This is probably an irrational thought, but did I kill any hope of reconciliation by seemingly not caring too much and moving on? She actually said, "I'd been dreading this call all day and you're taking it far better than I expected"

Bizarrely I'm not even sure that I care, maybe the reason I dealt with it so well is because I didn't care as much as I should have?

But basically, does anyone think I could have been more negotiable? Maybe said something like "I don't want to lose you but if you feel like this fine, call me if you feel differently" rather than what I did which is change my relationship status that night!

She broke up with you. Not the other way round.

Showing her you're moving on doesn't hurt you at all. If anything it brings her back.

Just continue with your life- focus on you. Focus on moving on- if she coms back to you then cross that bridge when it comes to it.

Indifference is king- not bothered is the best attitude you can have,

 

[zoom5]

Day 6.
I went through almost a week without her. It feels good. Haven't cried about her. If I think about her it makes me mad...I think about stuff like how unserious and childish she is and stuff like that.
But im afraid that most of my mood is good because I went out with that girl..Im probably gonna break down if I get denied by her anytime soon. Also im bored. haha noone to go out.

 

[Twist of Cain]

i post this for the folks who think of breaking nc

the ex texted me yesterday at 2pm

her: Hey cain

me: (5am) hey _____

her:  Casual 5 am answer.

me:  your up early. watsup

her:  I can't sleep. Now I have to get ready for work.

her:  Why an answer that early from you may I ask

her: (half hour later)  To be honest I had a dream about you

me:  howd it make you feel

her:  Mmm

her: Kinda sad

her:  I'm having not a great time

me: whys that 

her:  Why did it make me sad? Or why am I not having a great time ? 

I wonder about my past a lot and if things went different with us. - I work a lot and I still am having trouble with money and it's frustrating.

me: the past isnt our future, nothin is stopping us

her: Our past is what I have to go by though. It is unfortunate.  Are you working a lot ?

me: not sure what youre wanting from me - im off for a week wednesday

her: What do you mean? I'm not necessarily looking for anything I just wanna know what your doing I guess

me: im continuing to pursue my passions with the intent to manifest all my desires. lately, ive had more focus and determination then before and that nothing is standing in my way.

her: Like what? I'm intrigued to hear

me: wat nite are u free this week

her: Why not tn

me: on nites till weds. you have another nite

i texted that 11 mins after her. no reply.

not sure if this bish is emo drippin' me or too shy to meet up/low interest etc..

 

[Lozboss]

Zoom- you got this bro. Stay NC. You can't let other people be the source of your happiness- they resent it and you push them away.

Twist- bro you should have made her sweat. She's reaching out to see if she still has you on a string- a safety blanket for her.

 

[Twist of Cain]

how could i have made her sweat? i'm confused

 

[Lozboss]

how could i have made her sweat? i'm confused

Not replying within 3 hours of her text?

You need to break free bro- contact just opens new wounds.

From what she say she hasn't forgotten any negatives from the relationship. You need to go NC and let her FORGET the old you and then if you want to try again it's a NEW relationship.

 

[Reborndonjuan]

Hey, iv been a lurker on this site for six months now, that's when me and the ex split, she ended it, the usual "I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore" she wanted to remain friends, I said if we ever met again, il be "friendly" towards her, but I'm not interested in being friends, I cut all contact immeaditly, unfriended her on fb, deleted her number and went complete ghost. It was hard dealing with that, but I'm a stubborn bast**d and I knew I'd never contact her again. (It was a 3yr relationship and we where just about to move in together wen she ended it btw). 3months after the split she text me on my birthday, "happy bday, hope you have a nice day" I had her number deleted, but after 3years together u tend to recognise it, I replied "thanks" two days later. Fast forward to last weeknd, 6months now from the split, and zero contact from either side, I wake up to a txt from the ex sent at half 3 in the morning (probably drunk) msg read:- "hey how are you? I know this is so out of the blue, but wud you ever want to meet up for a chat sometime?"
I ignored it, then received another msg the following evening at six.
"Hey, I'm sorry, the girls were taking the hand last night and where sending msgs to people off my phone, I don't know why they messaged you asking to meet up, that was pretty mean, sorry again"

Iv been doing well so far.

Just wondered what your thoughts or advice is lads?

 

[Lozboss]

Hey, iv been a lurker on this site for six months now, that's when me and the ex split, she ended it, the usual "I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore" she wanted to remain friends, I said if we ever met again, il be "friendly" towards her, but I'm not interested in being friends, I cut all contact immeaditly, unfriended her on fb, deleted her number and went complete ghost. It was hard dealing with that, but I'm a stubborn bast**d and I knew I'd never contact her again. (It was a 3yr relationship and we where just about to move in together wen she ended it btw). 3months after the split she text me on my birthday, "happy bday, hope you have a nice day" I had her number deleted, but after 3years together u tend to recognise it, I replied "thanks" two days later. Fast forward to last weeknd, 6months now from the split, and zero contact from either side, I wake up to a txt from the ex sent at half 3 in the morning (probably drunk) msg read:- "hey how are you? I know this is so out of the blue, but wud you ever want to meet up for a chat sometime?"
I ignored it, then received another msg the following evening at six.
"Hey, I'm sorry, the girls were taking the hand last night and where sending msgs to people off my phone, I don't know why they messaged you asking to meet up, that was pretty mean, sorry again"

Iv been doing well so far.

Just wondered what your thoughts or advice is lads?

Two choice mate:

1. Ignore her. She's either being honest or she made a drunken mistake and is trying to regain face because you didn't reply

2. Send her a msg, saying 'I'm not interested in being 'just friends'- that hasn't changed. If you change your mind on giving 'us' another try then let me know and we can explore whether that's an option'.

What do you have to lose? No Reply? You continue with your life.

ONLY do 2 if you are confident enough in yourself that you can walk away and move on. If it's going to take you back to thinking about her all the time then ignore her.