A new beginning
Hi guys,
First day of my no contact period is today and I'm looking for some advice.
Complicated situation as most relationships are. I dated this girl a couple of years back but it wasn't for me and I left her pretty sharply. Unknown to me but it hit her hard and she suffered with depression over the break and seeing my subsequent behaviour with other girls over Facebook etc.
She takes another relationship as a rebound moves in with him and it eventually falls apart at her will but she suffers over this also.
We reconnected about a year ago through music. We played together in a ska band. We have ended up living round the corner to each other and became really close that she tried to hide her previous hurt and make another relationship.
Being the fool I am I never fed her the compliments and security she needed, instead playing jack the lad and making comments that she perceived as cruel. She has now chosen to end our relationship because she does not trust how I feel about her. I know she cares for me and finds me attractive it's purely a protection issue.
Consequently I have realised how much she means to me. I am unreservedly in love.
She is already dating someone else. Much older (which I think she connects to a father figure, as her father is very ill with dementia and is lost to her in kind). She has stayed at his, him at hers.
I've been through the pleading to no avail. She is stubborn.
I drop her a letter stating "as tragic as it is for my heart you will pleased to hear that I have accepted that our old relationship is over. We both needs some time apart to understand our hearts and get our heads straight. I hope your barbering course goes well xxx". Get a text that night saying "I got your note. I understand". Be strong! I don't respond.
My first day of no contact and she just sends me another message. "I just want to check - you're not leaving town are you? Xx"
I'm not sure that I should ignore it because it's rude. Thinking of responding "I need to do what's right for me now".
Advice please guys. I need to do this right as I want her back in my life because I know we can be good for each other if the trust issues can be worked out.
Thanks, J
Hi guys,
First day of my no contact period is today and I'm looking for some advice.
Complicated situation as most relationships are. I dated this girl a couple of years back but it wasn't for me and I left her pretty sharply. Unknown to me but it hit her hard and she suffered with depression over the break and seeing my subsequent behaviour with other girls over Facebook etc.
She takes another relationship as a rebound moves in with him and it eventually falls apart at her will but she suffers over this also.
We reconnected about a year ago through music. We played together in a ska band. We have ended up living round the corner to each other and became really close that she tried to hide her previous hurt and make another relationship.
Being the fool I am I never fed her the compliments and security she needed, instead playing jack the lad and making comments that she perceived as cruel. She has now chosen to end our relationship because she does not trust how I feel about her. I know she cares for me and finds me attractive it's purely a protection issue.
Consequently I have realised how much she means to me. I am unreservedly in love.
She is already dating someone else. Much older (which I think she connects to a father figure, as her father is very ill with dementia and is lost to her in kind). She has stayed at his, him at hers.
I've been through the pleading to no avail. She is stubborn.
I drop her a letter stating "as tragic as it is for my heart you will pleased to hear that I have accepted that our old relationship is over. We both needs some time apart to understand our hearts and get our heads straight. I hope your barbering course goes well xxx". Get a text that night saying "I got your note. I understand". Be strong! I don't respond.
My first day of no contact and she just sends me another message. "I just want to check - you're not leaving town are you? Xx"
I'm not sure that I should ignore it because it's rude. Thinking of responding "I need to do what's right for me now".
Advice please guys. I need to do this right as I want her back in my life because I know we can be good for each other if the trust issues can be worked out.
Thanks, J