The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Monciel]

Today is my first NC.

 

[henrea4]

Again, not even counting anymore. I just know that around September 4 should be 60 days (probably a few extra). Today was good. I still think about my ex wife a lot, but it's starting to feel less like I need her in my life and more like I just want her. Still, it isn't enough to make me break contact. I keep thinking of something to send her...an e-mail...it just kept bugging me, so I typed it up and put it in my drafts folder. I'll probably delete it tomorrow. Helped to get it out, though. Maybe now I can put it behind me.

No contact is helping. It doesn't always seem like it, but it is. I guess it helped that I went out with an old friend from high school that I haven't seen in about 10 years last weekend and had a great time. Plus, a guy from my job asked me if I want to go to a strip club with him on Friday. Never been to one of those....probably check it out. I'm not going to lie, I still wish she would reach out. I had been taking an internet fast for the past few days and I checked my e-mail again today to type up that draft message. Nothing. I didn't really expect anything, but I was still disappointed. I guess I'll just have to accept that we probably aren't going to talk again...it's hard, though.

 

[Faldero456]

9 days NC. It does get better. time heals.

Faldero456

 

[Subbeh]

day 11

So I just received the following text from her:

Hey. It's stupid to txt it, I'd rather talk but i don't know if you want. I don't feel good. I miss you. All i needed was a bit of space and time cause i felt paralyzed. I didn't want to lose you and it wasn't about <douchebag's name> or whoever. I just needed some space to take care of myself. I knew already back then that i still cared about you. I couldn't react at all cause i was stuck and i had the feeling that i didn't know what was happening. It's terrible that you're not in my life anymore. I still think about you and can not take u out of my mind. I don't know if you still miss me or did you get over me already and even date someone else. .. i would respect that of course but i wouldn't be myself if i didn't try to txt you. You did the same when you felt like that.

I wish she could just respect NC and not send me this bullsh!t. I'm sure she regrets what she's done, and she still cares about me. But there is no way I can take her back into my life.
Should I just ignore it, or tell her once more that there is no future for us and I wish she wouldn't contact me anymore?

 

[Subbeh]

Subbeh, it is pretty clear you should stay NC.

Thanks Mauser96, for pointing out the obvious. It's good to reread old posts sometimes.

 

[fuko2007]

Subeth ...mauser is right. This is the hardest part tho, take it from someone who broke NC before. The best bet is change your number and block her from everything else. She is no good my man, one minuet she CARES abt you the next she is off fvcking that dude. If she really cared abt you she would never have done that. So stay NC otherwise you will end up getting very hurt by this girl.

 

[Machtwo]

Day 50

Heard from the estate agent today that the house sale may have fallen through.
One part of me is giggling because it will C0ck her plans up a little! :crackup:
One part of me doesn't care.
Another part of me is worried that I might have to break NC to deal with this!

I'm doing nothing until she, if she, makes contact.

 

[l2obot224]

Been seeing a girl for about two months, getting some really strong BPD / AW flags and there is a roommate in the mix. Next-ing this girl, NC ever again so I thought id post here. Not that this is an emotional no contact, this girl just needs to be untouchable with a 40 foot pole, so I am running the f.. away.:woo: :woo: :woo:

Good luck to everyone/anyone going through difficulty.

 

[henrea4]

Really horrible day today. Didn't have much to do with "her" but it was extra sh*tty. Got switched to second shift at my job, so now I have to go to the gym in the morning instead of the afternoon. And since it's Friday, it was packed when I got there. I like to start off on the treadmill to warm up...couldn't do that. Threw my routine off whack...and then there was the time of the day issue...ugh. Then at work everything that could have possibly went wrong did exactly that. So glad Friday is behind me. I sure hope the rest of my weekend is better.

Eh...I guess I was missing her a bit today. Went to the Movie Stop to look at blu rays....it's just not the same by yourself. We used to do that often. I miss the companionship most of all I think. But not just anyone...she and I were exactly alike in personal tastes...well....not exactly (she really loves those damn Twilight movies. lol) but we had tons in common. But yeah....whatever.....

.....It's now August 17. That puts me at day 43 if my math is correct.

 

[Machtwo]

Eh...I guess I was missing her a bit today. Went to the Movie Stop to look at blu rays....it's just not the same by yourself. We used to do that often. I miss the companionship most of all I think. But not just anyone...she and I were exactly alike in personal tastes...well....not exactly (she really loves those damn Twilight movies. lol) but we had tons in common. But yeah....whatever.....

.....It's not August 17. That puts me at day 43 if my math is correct.[/QUOTE]

Congrats on making it to day 43 henrea4!

I couldn't agree more, it's the companionship that gets me most too, we had so much in common, simple things, day to day stuff, getting a coffee, food shopping, watching a film, just holding hands walking, her smell - if your eyes were closed and she walked past slowly you knew it was her!

Day 52 for me, getting easier now, actually looking forward to doing stuff on my own!

Keep the faith in NC guys

 

[henrea4]

It ain't been easy, but I will say that our relationship is now starting to feel much more like past tense than present....and you know something? I genuinely feel as if I don't need her in my life to be happy. Would I be willing to work things out if she made a reach? Certainly. But if she doesn't it's not the end of the world. Before I started NC, I definitely couldn't say that. Maybe I'm finally starting to come out of my denial.

 

[Machtwo]

It ain't been easy, but I will say that our relationship is now starting to feel much more like past tense than present....and you know something? I genuinely feel as if I don't need her in my life to be happy. Would I be willing to work things out if she made a reach? Certainly. But if she doesn't it's not the end of the world. Before I started NC, I definitely couldn't say that. Maybe I'm finally starting to come out of my denial.

Ditto!

 

[San]

Time does not heal.. you find a different way to live..

 

[Subbeh]

Broke NC; met her by accident while going out with a female friend for a drink. I wanted to be quick about it but unfortunately stayed talking to her for too long and let her try to explain stuff to me.
Since then, she's been sort of begging me to take her back and telling me it's unfair and stuff. In her eyes, she didn't do much wrong, not more than I did.
I really have to keep telling myself that she screwed me over, and that I should stay strong.
I told her again today that there is no future for us, and that I don't want her to contact me again. She's taking it very very hard.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I should be over 60 days NC. My dumbs ass had too many beers a couple weeks ago and broke it. I'm not going to beat myself up, it was stupid it has definitely set me back. I'm even talking to new broads. WHY the F-would I do this!?

This time around will be easier, but still a dumb mistake. F this 60 day challenge...NO CONTACT IS FOREVER!!

BAM----Needed to vent, thanks SS. GoodLuck fellas, get out there and talking to new chicks with clean slates!

 

[clair]

hi i am taking the NC challenge

hi I got dumped July 1st it has been 6 weeks since we saw each other I was trying the NC but I broke it a few times because he was moving out I initiated the contact . any ways I want to start the NC properly starting today I will not contact him at all for the 60 days knowing him I do not think he will contact me at all but at least I will be making my self stronger and getting over my emotional contact to him and that is what I am striving for. I want to get completely over him and move on:cheer:

 

[henrea4]

I should be over 60 days NC. My dumbs ass had too many beers a couple weeks ago and broke it. I'm not going to beat myself up, it was stupid it has definitely set me back. I'm even talking to new broads. WHY the F-would I do this!?

This time around will be easier, but still a dumb mistake. F this 60 day challenge...NO CONTACT IS FOREVER!!

BAM----Needed to vent, thanks SS. GoodLuck fellas, get out there and talking to new chicks with clean slates!

Oh man....THANK GOD I don't drink. Some of the stupid stuff I did to try and "win my ex back" when we initially split was all done while completely sober (though it's arguable whether or not such a fresh broken heart can really be considered "sober") if I had been under the influence of any controlled substance during that time I probably would be sitting in jail right now.

 

[fuko2007]

Broke NC; met her by accident while going out with a female friend for a drink. I wanted to be quick about it but unfortunately stayed talking to her for too long and let her try to explain stuff to me.
Since then, she's been sort of begging me to take her back and telling me it's unfair and stuff. In her eyes, she didn't do much wrong, not more than I did.
I really have to keep telling myself that she screwed me over, and that I should stay strong.
I told her again today that there is no future for us, and that I don't want her to contact me again. She's taking it very very hard.

Dude is tough, it sucks, it makes your belly twist into knots , and fvcks with your head. But its not your fault, im going to show you some tough love on here like a few older guys on here gave me and it helped specifically Mauser96. Man she is playing you, she wants you around so she can feel like she is in control and still has you while she is off doing what she did to you before. And there is a reason yall broke up, she cheated on YOU. Not the other way around.

Get your frame back and blow her off. Since you did talk to her for that long yes your back to day one. Why did you let her ruin your date?, that other girl probabially is like wtf is wrong with this guy right now. You were on the right track...NC..dateing around etc, but you let her sink her hooks in. Even just letting her talk might appease her ego so DONT DO IT! But thats why were here. Keep posting up and we will do our best to guide you through man.

 

[FiguriingItOut]

Starting NC tomorrow

Long story short, I had almost a 2 year relationship with a married woman (I'm married as well). I had some family issues that prevented me from seeing her for a few months, so she found someone new. At first I was pissed, but for some reason decided I want her back. I've been trying like hell for about 4 weeks to get her back, and all it's done is lead to arguments.

She constantly says we still have a connection and I have everything she wants. She says she isn't sure about her new guy, but she wants to see where it goes. She has texted me first every day wanting to talk bc I "mean so much to her". However, I'm starting NC bc I'm no ones plan B. I'm sure ill need some advice on here bc I think about her a lot.

 

[clair]

hey my ex moved

My ex moved his bed, dresser and computer desk today I made my self scares so I do not have to go through any emotional pain..i also took the day off and spend it at the casino with my girlfriend I got lucky and won$90 bucks Ha Ha .... when I got home I was still a little sad I refuse to go into the bedroom til I am stronger about the situation I just keep the door closed and I do not go in there I avoid it like the plague....cheers to staying strong with the NC ... by the way he text to let me know when the movers were coming I did no text back he is a very manipulative guy...either he was never into me after 6 years or he is also doing the NC with me:cheer: