"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
No contact is helping. It doesn't always seem like it, but it is. I guess it helped that I went out with an old friend from high school that I haven't seen in about 10 years last weekend and had a great time. Plus, a guy from my job asked me if I want to go to a strip club with him on Friday. Never been to one of those....probably check it out. I'm not going to lie, I still wish she would reach out. I had been taking an internet fast for the past few days and I checked my e-mail again today to type up that draft message. Nothing. I didn't really expect anything, but I was still disappointed. I guess I'll just have to accept that we probably aren't going to talk again...it's hard, though.
Faldero456
Don Juan
Faldero456
So I just received the following text from her:
I wish she could just respect NC and not send me this bullsh!t. I'm sure she regrets what she's done, and she still cares about me. But there is no way I can take her back into my life.
Should I just ignore it, or tell her once more that there is no future for us and I wish she wouldn't contact me anymore?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Machtwo
Don Juan
Heard from the estate agent today that the house sale may have fallen through.
One part of me is giggling because it will C0ck her plans up a little! :crackup:
One part of me doesn't care.
Another part of me is worried that I might have to break NC to deal with this!
I'm doing nothing until she, if she, makes contact.
Good luck to everyone/anyone going through difficulty.
Eh...I guess I was missing her a bit today. Went to the Movie Stop to look at blu rays....it's just not the same by yourself. We used to do that often. I miss the companionship most of all I think. But not just anyone...she and I were exactly alike in personal tastes...well....not exactly (she really loves those damn Twilight movies. lol) but we had tons in common. But yeah....whatever.....
.....It's now August 17. That puts me at day 43 if my math is correct.
Machtwo
Don Juan
.....It's not August 17. That puts me at day 43 if my math is correct.[/QUOTE]
Congrats on making it to day 43 henrea4!
I couldn't agree more, it's the companionship that gets me most too, we had so much in common, simple things, day to day stuff, getting a coffee, food shopping, watching a film, just holding hands walking, her smell - if your eyes were closed and she walked past slowly you knew it was her!
Day 52 for me, getting easier now, actually looking forward to doing stuff on my own!
Keep the faith in NC guys
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Machtwo
Don Juan
Ditto!henrea4 said:
Since then, she's been sort of begging me to take her back and telling me it's unfair and stuff. In her eyes, she didn't do much wrong, not more than I did.
I really have to keep telling myself that she screwed me over, and that I should stay strong.
I told her again today that there is no future for us, and that I don't want her to contact me again. She's taking it very very hard.
hockeyfreak79
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2013
- Messages
- 1,038
- Reaction score
- 337
This time around will be easier, but still a dumb mistake. F this 60 day challenge...NO CONTACT IS FOREVER!!
BAM----Needed to vent, thanks SS. GoodLuck fellas, get out there and talking to new chicks with clean slates!
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
hi I got dumped July 1st it has been 6 weeks since we saw each other I was trying the NC but I broke it a few times because he was moving out I initiated the contact . any ways I want to start the NC properly starting today I will not contact him at all for the 60 days knowing him I do not think he will contact me at all but at least I will be making my self stronger and getting over my emotional contact to him and that is what I am striving for. I want to get completely over him and move on:cheer:
Oh man....THANK GOD I don't drink. Some of the stupid stuff I did to try and "win my ex back" when we initially split was all done while completely sober (though it's arguable whether or not such a fresh broken heart can really be considered "sober") if I had been under the influence of any controlled substance during that time I probably would be sitting in jail right now.hockeyfreak79 said:
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Dude is tough, it sucks, it makes your belly twist into knots , and fvcks with your head. But its not your fault, im going to show you some tough love on here like a few older guys on here gave me and it helped specifically Mauser96. Man she is playing you, she wants you around so she can feel like she is in control and still has you while she is off doing what she did to you before. And there is a reason yall broke up, she cheated on YOU. Not the other way around.Subbeh said:
Get your frame back and blow her off. Since you did talk to her for that long yes your back to day one. Why did you let her ruin your date?, that other girl probabially is like wtf is wrong with this guy right now. You were on the right track...NC..dateing around etc, but you let her sink her hooks in. Even just letting her talk might appease her ego so DONT DO IT! But thats why were here. Keep posting up and we will do our best to guide you through man.
FiguriingItOut
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2013
- Messages
- 7
- Reaction score
- 0
Long story short, I had almost a 2 year relationship with a married woman (I'm married as well). I had some family issues that prevented me from seeing her for a few months, so she found someone new. At first I was pissed, but for some reason decided I want her back. I've been trying like hell for about 4 weeks to get her back, and all it's done is lead to arguments.
She constantly says we still have a connection and I have everything she wants. She says she isn't sure about her new guy, but she wants to see where it goes. She has texted me first every day wanting to talk bc I "mean so much to her". However, I'm starting NC bc I'm no ones plan B. I'm sure ill need some advice on here bc I think about her a lot.
My ex moved his bed, dresser and computer desk today I made my self scares so I do not have to go through any emotional pain..i also took the day off and spend it at the casino with my girlfriend I got lucky and won$90 bucks Ha Ha .... when I got home I was still a little sad I refuse to go into the bedroom til I am stronger about the situation I just keep the door closed and I do not go in there I avoid it like the plague....cheers to staying strong with the NC ... by the way he text to let me know when the movers were coming I did no text back he is a very manipulative guy...either he was never into me after 6 years or he is also doing the NC with me:cheer:
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.