"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
No contact is helping. It doesn't always seem like it, but it is. I guess it helped that I went out with an old friend from high school that I haven't seen in about 10 years last weekend and had a great time. Plus, a guy from my job asked me if I want to go to a strip club with him on Friday. Never been to one of those....probably check it out. I'm not going to lie, I still wish she would reach out. I had been taking an internet fast for the past few days and I checked my e-mail again today to type up that draft message. Nothing. I didn't really expect anything, but I was still disappointed. I guess I'll just have to accept that we probably aren't going to talk again...it's hard, though.
Faldero456
Don Juan
Faldero456
So I just received the following text from her:
I wish she could just respect NC and not send me this bullsh!t. I'm sure she regrets what she's done, and she still cares about me. But there is no way I can take her back into my life.
Should I just ignore it, or tell her once more that there is no future for us and I wish she wouldn't contact me anymore?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Machtwo
Don Juan
Heard from the estate agent today that the house sale may have fallen through.
One part of me is giggling because it will C0ck her plans up a little! :crackup:
One part of me doesn't care.
Another part of me is worried that I might have to break NC to deal with this!
I'm doing nothing until she, if she, makes contact.
Good luck to everyone/anyone going through difficulty.
Eh...I guess I was missing her a bit today. Went to the Movie Stop to look at blu rays....it's just not the same by yourself. We used to do that often. I miss the companionship most of all I think. But not just anyone...she and I were exactly alike in personal tastes...well....not exactly (she really loves those damn Twilight movies. lol) but we had tons in common. But yeah....whatever.....
.....It's now August 17. That puts me at day 43 if my math is correct.
Machtwo
Don Juan
.....It's not August 17. That puts me at day 43 if my math is correct.[/QUOTE]
Congrats on making it to day 43 henrea4!
I couldn't agree more, it's the companionship that gets me most too, we had so much in common, simple things, day to day stuff, getting a coffee, food shopping, watching a film, just holding hands walking, her smell - if your eyes were closed and she walked past slowly you knew it was her!
Day 52 for me, getting easier now, actually looking forward to doing stuff on my own!
Keep the faith in NC guys
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Machtwo
Don Juan
Ditto!henrea4 said:
Since then, she's been sort of begging me to take her back and telling me it's unfair and stuff. In her eyes, she didn't do much wrong, not more than I did.
I really have to keep telling myself that she screwed me over, and that I should stay strong.
I told her again today that there is no future for us, and that I don't want her to contact me again. She's taking it very very hard.
hockeyfreak79
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2013
- Messages
- 1,038
- Reaction score
- 337
This time around will be easier, but still a dumb mistake. F this 60 day challenge...NO CONTACT IS FOREVER!!
BAM----Needed to vent, thanks SS. GoodLuck fellas, get out there and talking to new chicks with clean slates!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
hi I got dumped July 1st it has been 6 weeks since we saw each other I was trying the NC but I broke it a few times because he was moving out I initiated the contact . any ways I want to start the NC properly starting today I will not contact him at all for the 60 days knowing him I do not think he will contact me at all but at least I will be making my self stronger and getting over my emotional contact to him and that is what I am striving for. I want to get completely over him and move on:cheer:
Oh man....THANK GOD I don't drink. Some of the stupid stuff I did to try and "win my ex back" when we initially split was all done while completely sober (though it's arguable whether or not such a fresh broken heart can really be considered "sober") if I had been under the influence of any controlled substance during that time I probably would be sitting in jail right now.hockeyfreak79 said:
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Dude is tough, it sucks, it makes your belly twist into knots , and fvcks with your head. But its not your fault, im going to show you some tough love on here like a few older guys on here gave me and it helped specifically Mauser96. Man she is playing you, she wants you around so she can feel like she is in control and still has you while she is off doing what she did to you before. And there is a reason yall broke up, she cheated on YOU. Not the other way around.Subbeh said:
Get your frame back and blow her off. Since you did talk to her for that long yes your back to day one. Why did you let her ruin your date?, that other girl probabially is like wtf is wrong with this guy right now. You were on the right track...NC..dateing around etc, but you let her sink her hooks in. Even just letting her talk might appease her ego so DONT DO IT! But thats why were here. Keep posting up and we will do our best to guide you through man.
FiguriingItOut
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2013
- Messages
- 7
- Reaction score
- 0
Long story short, I had almost a 2 year relationship with a married woman (I'm married as well). I had some family issues that prevented me from seeing her for a few months, so she found someone new. At first I was pissed, but for some reason decided I want her back. I've been trying like hell for about 4 weeks to get her back, and all it's done is lead to arguments.
She constantly says we still have a connection and I have everything she wants. She says she isn't sure about her new guy, but she wants to see where it goes. She has texted me first every day wanting to talk bc I "mean so much to her". However, I'm starting NC bc I'm no ones plan B. I'm sure ill need some advice on here bc I think about her a lot.
My ex moved his bed, dresser and computer desk today I made my self scares so I do not have to go through any emotional pain..i also took the day off and spend it at the casino with my girlfriend I got lucky and won$90 bucks Ha Ha .... when I got home I was still a little sad I refuse to go into the bedroom til I am stronger about the situation I just keep the door closed and I do not go in there I avoid it like the plague....cheers to staying strong with the NC ... by the way he text to let me know when the movers were coming I did no text back he is a very manipulative guy...either he was never into me after 6 years or he is also doing the NC with me:cheer:
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.