The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Roober]

DAY 1

She's back with her her scumbag x-con bf. I'm a good looking doctor. It's like wtf?! Yet I'm still hung up on her. Tonight I missed her so I snuck over to her apartment and left a rose on her car. As I drove off I felt like such a piece of s**t. She's probably up there f'ing him and here I am putting a rose on her car. I'm such a douche. So day 1 starts tomorrow and will have 59 days of no contact following it. Thanks everyone.

read the bible, work on yourself! sorry to hear man!

 

[5chm1dd1]

DAY 1

She's back with her her scumbag x-con bf. I'm a good looking doctor. It's like wtf?! Yet I'm still hung up on her. Tonight I missed her so I snuck over to her apartment and left a rose on her car. As I drove off I felt like such a piece of s**t. She's probably up there f'ing him and here I am putting a rose on her car. I'm such a douche. So day 1 starts tomorrow and will have 59 days of no contact following it. Thanks everyone.

Stay strong dude!
And for your own health, stop doing things like that, it only increases your pain and makes her ego blow through the roof.
She decided to let you (the price!!) go, so fvck her.
She had her chance, she blew it.

Read the Bible, improve yourself and you'll see that down the line, you'll meet a cool woman who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

 

[Carpathian]

DAY 1

She's back with her her scumbag x-con bf. I'm a good looking doctor. It's like wtf?! Yet I'm still hung up on her. Tonight I missed her so I snuck over to her apartment and left a rose on her car. As I drove off I felt like such a piece of s**t. She's probably up there f'ing him and here I am putting a rose on her car. I'm such a douche. So day 1 starts tomorrow and will have 59 days of no contact following it. Thanks everyone.

Dude, you gotta stop doing things like that brother, it makes you look weak and pathetic and I am sure you are neither of those things. But it makes you look sad and desperate to her and you are digging a deeper hole. Stop doing it right now and move into NC immediately. Absolutely 100% no contact, stalking, viewing FB, "accidentally" bumping into her or anything else. ZERO. Right NOW.

Stay strong brother and hang in there - it will get better. I am also a doctor - cardiologist - and good looking, fit, muscular and successful too. Truth be told, I am still hung up on my ex a little too. WTF she just dumped me out of the blue for I do not know, her kids and family loved me and we had great times. Just dumped completely out of the blue. There is no logic for it at all. I have another GF now and doing good - as indeed you will - but ex casts a long shadow this last few weeks for some reason. The biatch keeps texting me saying she wants me and so I recently blocked her. I think the season of Christmas is bringing it home to us guys in our subconscious. All of us must hang in there.

 

[Roober]

Day 30

craziest thing happened yesterday, didn't realize it till the train home. I didn't miss the ex at all during the day or really even think about her...

Going on the date last Monday, and talking to other women has helped big time this week. The biggest thing is you begin to realize a) there are much better women out there, and b) I can take most of them home... While I haven't yet, understanding relationship dynamics is invaluable.

 

[Jason887]

Dude, you gotta stop doing things like that brother, it makes you look weak and pathetic and I am sure you are neither of those things. But it makes you look sad and desperate to her and you are digging a deeper hole. Stop doing it right now and move into NC immediately. Absolutely 100% no contact, stalking, viewing FB, "accidentally" bumping into her or anything else. ZERO. Right NOW.

Stay strong brother and hang in there - it will get better. I am also a doctor - cardiologist - and good looking, fit, muscular and successful too. Truth be told, I am still hung up on my ex a little too. WTF she just dumped me out of the blue for I do not know, her kids and family loved me and we had great times. Just dumped completely out of the blue. There is no logic for it at all. I have another GF now and doing good - as indeed you will - but ex casts a long shadow this last few weeks for some reason. The biatch keeps texting me saying she wants me and so I recently blocked her. I think the season of Christmas is bringing it home to us guys in our subconscious. All of us must hang in there.

I am a former CV tech going through the same thing coincidence? Or does cardiac imaging turn girls off lol?

 

[Carpathian]

I am a former CV tech going through the same thing coincidence? Or does cardiac imaging turn girls off lol?

It certainly make you wonder...... Maybe these women think we are "heartless" working with people with heart problems all the time!

 

[Carpathian]

Day 30

craziest thing happened yesterday, didn't realize it till the train home. I didn't miss the ex at all during the day or really even think about her...

Going on the date last Monday, and talking to other women has helped big time this week. The biggest thing is you begin to realize a) there are much better women out there, and b) I can take most of them home... While I haven't yet, understanding relationship dynamics is invaluable.

As soon as you come to the realization that your ex is not a "one off" or "special" and in actual fact there are a gazillion women better than her, the better you start to feel. However, it takes a few months to come to that realization and in the meantime we become obsessed with the ex. We are all the same, it is natural in the first few weeks when the carpet has been yanked from under us....

 

[Firestar786]

The dumb ho realised what she lost and now wants to come back. Lol pathetic.

NC is the only way to purge yourself of these people. I'd appreciate what you guys think of this. I know the answer (NC) but interested in what you think are her motivations?

Background: Both 48 and got kids, Both divorcees. Loved and adored her, families adored each other. Her kids thought I was the best thing that had ever happened to their mom. No serious issue at all that I could see. Great sex, great times. She just dumped me. She did it three times in the previous two years. No reason at all. I think she is BPD but can't be certain. Maybe an ex in the background. I was really upset for two months. I know some of you guys are going through this now [so hang in there guys it gets better] and was helped greatly by this thread.

• So dumped in March, telling me we are 100% at the end of the road (ended badly with me telling her to fvkk off and leave me alone). Threw all her stuff she bought me over her garden hedge that night.

• Heard nothing from her for two months. She reached out end of May apologizing the way it ended.

• A few texts between us for a week, good natured, then silence.

• I started dating a new woman - a 8/10 - in June. I am still with her and am happy, wild sex, good times etc, but the ex still casts a shadow over me. I really loved her and do not mind admitting it.

• My birthday in August. She wishes me happy birthday. Ignored her. A few more texts over the course of the next few weeks. Ignored her.

• Asked me over text if I'd like some private and no commitments "sexy times" with her round her place since she missed it with me. She even sent me a picture of her vibrator. Despite being tempted I told her I have a GF and best we don't. She told me she's started Match.com but the guys are no match for me and she gets sad as it makes her think of me all the time.

• Between then (in September) and now (December) she sends me a Whatsapp commenting on my Whatsapp profile photo every couple of weeks - always complimentary comments ending with a kiss and a blowing a kiss emoticon. I replied a couple of times with a thumbs up and nothing else.

What the fvkk is she up to? Do think she wants me back? I am just ignoring her from now on. I should block her I know but part of me is amused by this...!

 

[Firestar786]

19 days in so far.
Been two weeks dieting.
Business has picked up as it does.
And both of my ex's I dated at the same time have added me back to whatsapp - when is if they're both just going to **** off.

 

[Jediknight888]

2 days in and all is fine. I have checked her social media but she currently has me blocked so I can only see her main photo. It's been almost 8 months since I've had any normal contact with her. It doesn't keep her from f'ing with me though. I've done 30 days NC in the past bf she wrote to me. 10 days later when I wrote her back she said f off I was drunk and I want nothing to do with you. It's like WTF?! Then she'll block me from all social media, but then she'll post some sad black and white pic of her as her main photo. ***** is crazy and just likes playing games. Really do feel sorry for her current BF. I've thought about telling him that she cheats on him but it's probably not my place and I don't need some crazy dude coming after me.

 

[Roober]

2 days in and all is fine. I have checked her social media but she currently has me blocked so I can only see her main photo. It's been almost 8 months since I've had any normal contact with her. It doesn't keep her from f'ing with me though. I've done 30 days NC in the past bf she wrote to me. 10 days later when I wrote her back she said f off I was drunk and I want nothing to do with you. It's like WTF?! Then she'll block me from all social media, but then she'll post some sad black and white pic of her as her main photo. ***** is crazy and just likes playing games. Really do feel sorry for her current BF. I've thought about telling him that she cheats on him but it's probably not my place and I don't need some crazy dude coming after me.

Looking at social media delays the healing process... If you can't resist, delete from your phone. Most of the crap on there is useless anyhow...

 

[Jediknight888]

Day 3. And just for the record I have done 30 days NC in the past. Honestly, after that 30 days I still wanted her. So my question is...what if I do 60 and I still want her? At what point do you say f it and go after her? At what point do you say this is the girl I want and I'll go after her forever if that is what it takes? Not that I'm going to, still committed to 60 days NC. I still have to turn the table regardless and become the alpha again, but at some point we all face that time where they contact us and we have to make the decision to either say f them forever or I'm going to let you in on my terms and go forward from there. So many guys on here move on and date other women, but it's not the woman they REALLY want. They seem fairly happy and everything seems to be OK, but who wants to live with OK? We all want to have a good relationship with that girl that we want. So my question for the other DJ's is when to say f it and go after her?

 

[5chm1dd1]

Day 3. And just for the record I have done 30 days NC in the past. Honestly, after that 30 days I still wanted her. So my question is...what if I do 60 and I still want her? At what point do you say f it and go after her? At what point do you say this is the girl I want and I'll go after her forever if that is what it takes? Not that I'm going to, still committed to 60 days NC. I still have to turn the table regardless and become the alpha again, but at some point we all face that time where they contact us and we have to make the decision to either say f them forever or I'm going to let you in on my terms and go forward from there. So many guys on here move on and date other women, but it's not the woman they REALLY want. They seem fairly happy and everything seems to be OK, but who wants to live with OK? We all want to have a good relationship with that girl that we want. So my question for the other DJ's is when to say f it and go after her?

Well, I know exactly what you are thinking.
I'm at about 95-100 days NC, and still sometimes want her.

BUT: she fvcking dumped me, so she is never again worth a second of my time. She apparently doesn't appreciate me and my qualities, so what's the point in wasting any more time with her?

Even though my NC is already pretty long, sometimes it still hits me, but it gets less, even without me spinning plates(atm, I don't want to, guess I'm still too hurt or whatever).
I think my problem is that it was my first relationship and first love, so I guess that's what makes it hard for me to move on.

If at some point I'm craving her attention or her in general, I simply ask myself a few questions:

What did she do to deserve my attention?
What makes her so special?
What can she give me, what other women can't?

Due to the fact, that the answer to the above questions is "Nothing at all.", that pretty much helps getting rid of the remaining feelings.

 

[Darrenez]

Day 10 for me. Pretty much pissing it to be honest. Chatting to 5 women at the moment who are all interested. Went on a date last night, I travelled an hour and a hour to see meet her but went out for a lovely meal and had some fun in my car. IMO shes better looking than my ex and has a better body although thats mighty close but the main thing is , she is closer to my age 35, whilst my ex was 26. Only downside is she lives 1 hour and a half away. I work at a school whilst she works at an airport so her shifts maybe a problem for us seeing each other regularly however we will give it a go.

My advice guys is try and meet new women. I'm considering coming off online dating I think now as I'm getting addicted to chatting all of these women and can't make my mind up..However it does help forget your ex. Obviously it depends how deep your feelings were for your ex of course.

 

[xstang77]

Day 10 for me. Pretty much pissing it to be honest. Chatting to 5 women at the moment who are all interested. Went on a date last night, I travelled an hour and a hour to see meet her but went out for a lovely meal and had some fun in my car. IMO shes better looking than my ex and has a better body although thats mighty close but the main thing is , she is closer to my age 35, whilst my ex was 26. Only downside is she lives 1 hour and a half away. I work at a school whilst she works at an airport so her shifts maybe a problem for us seeing each other regularly however we will give it a go.

My advice guys is try and meet new women. I'm considering coming off online dating I think now as I'm getting addicted to chatting all of these women and can't make my mind up..However it does help forget your ex. Obviously it depends how deep your feelings were for your ex of course.

Be careful with the distance brother,I'm
Going through a break up now after dating a single mom that was my dream woman who lived 2.5 hours away,everything was great started having her daughter look up to me etc. then the calls and text tapered off and I didn't know if she was dead or alive for 4 days then she finally texts me to dump
Me at 10 last Monday morning. Taking it kinda rough since it was out of the blue and she was great when we were together.feel like she's my "the one that got away" I feel if we lived closer I could have help Stop it from happening...sucks.

 

[Carpathian]

I'm still a little bit affected by my breakup nine months later and I am not ashamed admitting it. It gets easier and I am great at the moment and been with another woman for four months but like I said a few posts ago, sometimes it takes a long time to really flush an ex out of your system. When you know in your heart you were a kind, generous, decent man, you were not a doormat and you showed them a good time and where you did the right thing and they just dump you for absolutely no reason.... ? It really stings.

Really guys, NC is the way. There is no other way. Everyone keeps saying it for a reason and you really must do it. I myself have failed at this too but not this time. Ignored last six correspondences from her since September when she's trying to ensnare me in her BS again and another cycle of on-off.

 

[Carpathian]

Day 10 for me. Pretty much pissing it to be honest. Chatting to 5 women at the moment who are all interested. Went on a date last night, I travelled an hour and a hour to see meet her but went out for a lovely meal and had some fun in my car. IMO shes better looking than my ex and has a better body although thats mighty close but the main thing is , she is closer to my age 35, whilst my ex was 26. Only downside is she lives 1 hour and a half away. I work at a school whilst she works at an airport so her shifts maybe a problem for us seeing each other regularly however we will give it a go.

My advice guys is try and meet new women. I'm considering coming off online dating I think now as I'm getting addicted to chatting all of these women and can't make my mind up..However it does help forget your ex. Obviously it depends how deep your feelings were for your ex of course.

I'm glad you are happy at the moment and that you are finding solace with other women but much of what you describe is rebound dude. No matter what you say, if you had a serious and loving commitment with your ex, and from what you describe in your previous posts you did, then you eventually have to feel the pain of the breakup. I say that with respect to you and not to flame or goad you brother. You have to feel it to heal it....

 

[Jediknight888]

Day 4. My question today is.... what to do with social media? Do I keep her blocked or do I just unblock her and forget she ever existed? I've blocked her and her family and bf. She noticed it and blocked me back. But, we all know the truth is that if we really didn't care we wouldn't block at all.

 

[Roober]

Day 4. My question today is.... what to do with social media? Do I keep her blocked or do I just unblock her and forget she ever existed? I've blocked her and her family and bf. She noticed it and blocked me back. But, we all know the truth is that if we really didn't care we wouldn't block at all.

I would just keep her blocked. Doesn't sound like you can resist the urge to not look. To me, not blocking seems like the way to go. Because it shows her that you don't need to block her, but aren't paying attention to her any more.

On facebook, you can unfollow her and not see her posts
On snapchat, you can just not look
Don't know about IG

Since you already blocked her, unblocking will just show that your still curious. Once it's done, you have to stick with it. Just my opinion...

 

[Carpathian]

Day 4. My question today is.... what to do with social media? Do I keep her blocked or do I just unblock her and forget she ever existed? I've blocked her and her family and bf. She noticed it and blocked me back. But, we all know the truth is that if we really didn't care we wouldn't block at all.

Don't block her on Social Media but unfollow her so that her posts do not appear on your timeline whilst ostensibly you still remain as "friends". You want to make as little of this as possible. Don't make it look like you are rattled.
I suggest a book for you called "It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken". It is very American and more orientated towards women. Some of it does not translate into my Slovak language and culture very easily but I sort of understand the English. But the issues are the same for men and women. It is a good and light-hearted book but very relevant for people newly broken up. Made me laugh and understand. It is another take on No Contact.