The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[GS750]

Grass is not always greener on the other side(not getting the maintenance AWing texts), I sort of enjoyed seeing what cheating h0rs these women were when they would start sexting me after already getting a new bf...also the cvnty butthurt comments they make...they give you the rope to hang them with emotionally and intellectually. A useful tool for those of us that have a damned difficult time making a decision and sticking to it.

Haha true. I just found it very attention wh0r-ish to be texting your ex when you're 3,4,5 months into a new relationship. Grass isn't greener over there? Attention? Who knows why she did it. I got tired of the "maintenance texts" and blocked altogether.

 

[zorg198]

I Did the mistake of keeping her stupid number under another horrible name i gave her , i didn't delete it . yesterday i went over my Whatsapp to send another person a text , i saw her profile picture. H0lly sh1t. she changed her face completely. i mean completely. she looks whole different than she looked like. also , she's must be aware i blocked her on Facebook so what'sapp is the only way she can communicate with me. she post it there... i was shocked. what the hell? 5 weeks and keep going

 

[helmut2014]

Day 1

Started NC today. It is hard because I still want her back.

 

[clicheusername20]

Been NC for 8 days now, feeling pretty good. I'm gonna be staying in my college town tonight since I'm traveling through there. It'll be completely dead, but she lives there, so I'm fighting the urge to text her. Probably not a good idea...

 

[beyondunplugged]

GUYS - Please understand that "No Contact" is not some tactic to get her back. It means you are MOVING ON. You need to completely sever any memory you have of this person. Do not use No Contact thinking you will get her back because you will NEVER get her back. If she does come back and you willingly reenter the relationship, the DAMAGE IS DONE. Trust me. Move the hell on and learn not to tolerate ANYTHING. If you are not benefiting IMMENSELY from any person, woman or otherwise, KICK THEM TO THE CURB. As each minute passes where this person is allowing you to feel this pain and forcing you to go No Contact they have already brought far more negative into your life than positive. Think about that. How do you feel right now? That's a result of HER influence. How is that positive? That you have to feel so much pain? That's not worth it. You aren't benefiting at all.

 

[Hopes4Hope]

day 30+ NC

there would always be a time that my ex will resurface or show up in any time someday because we r living in a small town. if that happens, im gonna show him what he missed from me. Im going to pursue my dream profession (same as his). we will surely bump into each other again in the workplace years later or wherever in months. im still going to be or more hot looking at that time.
I want to mess up his mind again. Be his greatest distraction again.

 

[Darrenez]

Relevant song for us

I think this song is quite relevant for us guys who feel a bit hard done by our EX's and are trying to get on with our lives and seeking improvement. It is a bit hardcore but for those who like hip hop/rap , you may like it...I say hip hop but its more like poppy rap! but the message is good:crackup:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZaJYDPY-YQ

 

[mugatts]

While I agree that giving each other space after a break up is necessary, the no contact rules with hidden agenda is just childish and will result in more misery. I think each person should remain true to themselves, do what you really believe is right for you. Reading too much into what someone meant with a text message, counting down the days since no contact etc sounds really stressful and a waste of time. If you believe there is hope for reconciliation, talk to your ex and find that out. If the decision to break up is final, then yes detach from them completely and move on with your life because it never stopped. If they change their mind they will let you know but by then you probably won't want them back anyway.

 

[Noyou]

While I agree that giving each other space after a break up is necessary, the no contact rules with hidden agenda is just childish and will result in more misery. I think each person should remain true to themselves, do what you really believe is right for you. ABSOLUTELY AGREE! However what I see sometimes with people on here or elsewhere, they use NC to get an ex back, while sometimes it works, it will ultimately end the same way it started. The end result is the same with an ex, if nothing has changed since you 2 broke up, it will be doomed to fail again and again. I really do think it takes dating around and such to REALLY be on board to someone who dumped me, like "I really had something with this person" but ultimately you can find someone else to be happy with even more than the ex. I've dated around and I've missed SO MUCH in the last 5 years, its mind blowing how some women can be Reading too much into what someone meant with a text message, counting down the days since no contact etc sounds really stressful and a waste of time. Again fully agree If you believe there is hope for reconciliation, talk to your ex and find that out. This is where we will disagree, I was the kindest guy but had boundaries and she broke it off after 5 years. SHE broke it off with me, and if the case is if I tried to ask and all I got was a mixed ***** answer, this is where it will harm you because YOU will be putting your all out, while the other is pulled back. Its a losing scenario If the decision to break up is final, then yes detach from them completely and move on with your life because it never stopped. If they change their mind they will let you know but by then you probably won't want them back anyway. True but from what I've found out is most women can detach in the blink of an eye if things don't go their way, even if they've invested TONS of time into the relationship. I remember my ex telling me "she could get sex if she wanted to (slut, lol) and that lots of men noticed her and she wanted to see what that's all about" and not only that but be really mixed msged about it too. They will never let you know up front, and actions speak louder than words.

Thoughts in bold. For the most part I agree with this, because you shouldn't change your being because of one person. HOWEVER the thing about asking an ex, you never know their mindset, and the thing is EVEN if you have gotten over it, they may haven't, maybe they hold a grudge because "How dare you date other people and ignore me when I dumped you"
Maybe they will act aloof about it.

Reality is, if they broke it off with you, it maybe them, it maybe you. Bottom line is to learn from the failure, because then its not a failure, and that is wisdom. Then when you get your head on straight and become the person you want to be then you can engage because anything they throw at you is meaningless and you can make justified, smart decisions.

Example, I could see my ex left me because she wanted a family and I:
1. Didn't have a home
2. Suck ass job
3. Do not think we were ready for that.

However what is against her is that:
1. I'm graduated
2. With time I got a great job with nice pay.

She was not patient when it came to this but hey, maybe or maybe she won't be able to find someone that could supply her with that (From what I've seen, settling, but thats my opinion. (and everyone else's, lol) )

Another example is that my ex said I didn't have my life together but:
1. With time I got said new job
2. Can afford a new home
3. "Needs my life together" is very opinionated.

For example, my ideals of my life together are:
1. Nice job
2. Nice pay
3. Job secured
4. Ability to purchase and make big payments for said purchases

I could have ALL this, look decent and such, stand in front of a crowd full of women and I bet you only a 1/4th would say I have my life together. Reason being is that they all have DIFFERENT opinions on what that means.

Some women think that being graduated means you have your life together because you have goals and great things are on the horizon.

Others will think being graduated means you wasted your time because you currently have nothing to show for it because they are interested in the "what can you do for me now"

Think on this, though its about commitment and such, it rarely is ever about you, but about what you can give them.

 

[BlackgumL]

It has been well over one year since I logged onto this site. I was telling a friend of mine about no contact on New Year's Eve, and told him to google 'no contact challenge' so he could find this forum. I'm not sure if he took my advice, but I decided to have look around and follow up on what happened to me.

Last January 2014 I met a wonderful woman. We dated for a few months and decided we would be better off as FWB. I was in to her a little more than her me (she was 15 years younger). I've got a woman closer to my age for more serious stuff, but it is gonna take me a long time to only have one girl in my life.

After 1 year of no contact I have learned a lot of things. I thought I would list them in no particular order:


1. I can be extremely emotional but that does not mean I have to act on any of these emotions. If I need to cry, I will go to the bathroom and let it out.

2. Whatever paranoid thoughts I may have about my ex I will keep my conclusions to myself. There is enough negative sh1t in the world without me piling on.

3. I never have to talk to my ex again. She is dead to me.

4. I am a man. I am not a little boy who needs his mother. I stand on my own without the help of a woman.

5. Pu55y is more addictive than any drug.

6. Behaviors are the key. No one else knows what is going on inside of my head but me. No one else needs to know. See #2

7. When I start to feel weak I think about my grandfather and imagine what he would do. He would go fishing.

8. Lay off the booze. Too much drink leads to loneliness.

9. Solitude is not loneliness. I took a lot of time to really get to know myself again. At first there were things I did not like about myself. I continue to work on changing these things.

10. It all comes down to cause and effect. I must make the causes to achieve the desired results.



These are just a few of the many things I have learned along the way. Thank all of you who have posted on this forum/board, it helped me all those months ago. I hope all of you find your smile and your confidence. 2015 is going to be our best year yet!

 

[mikey2012]

It has been well over one year since I logged onto this site. I was telling a friend of mine about no contact on New Year's Eve, and told him to google 'no contact challenge' so he could find this forum. I'm not sure if he took my advice, but I decided to have look around and follow up on what happened to me.

Last January 2014 I met a wonderful woman. We dated for a few months and decided we would be better off as FWB. I was in to her a little more than her me (she was 15 years younger). I've got a woman closer to my age for more serious stuff, but it is gonna take me a long time to only have one girl in my life.

After 1 year of no contact I have learned a lot of things. I thought I would list them in no particular order:


1. I can be extremely emotional but that does not mean I have to act on any of these emotions. If I need to cry, I will go to the bathroom and let it out.

2. Whatever paranoid thoughts I may have about my ex I will keep my conclusions to myself. There is enough negative sh1t in the world without me piling on.

3. I never have to talk to my ex again. She is dead to me.

4. I am a man. I am not a little boy who needs his mother. I stand on my own without the help of a woman.

5. Pu55y is more addictive than any drug.

6. Behaviors are the key. No one else knows what is going on inside of my head but me. No one else needs to know. See #2

7. When I start to feel weak I think about my grandfather and imagine what he would do. He would go fishing.

8. Lay off the booze. Too much drink leads to loneliness.

9. Solitude is not loneliness. I took a lot of time to really get to know myself again. At first there were things I did not like about myself. I continue to work on changing these things.

10. It all comes down to cause and effect. I must make the causes to achieve the desired results.



These are just a few of the many things I have learned along the way. Thank all of you who have posted on this forum/board, it helped me all those months ago. I hope all of you find your smile and your confidence. 2015 is going to be our best year yet!

Congrats. like you i have sampled the delights of a younger softer wetter pvssy. You are right....its more than drugs.

 

[zorg198]

I would like to write some stuff because its help...

Since my ex dumped me its been one month and two weeks of NC.

1. I keep thinking about her , i don't know if i miss her but some parts of me do.
2. I read a lot of stuff and realize the mistakes i did , learning from them .
3. started to move on with my life , take care of myself and make my dream come true.
3.wrote a list of things i want to learn/achieve- i hope i will make all of them.
4. I won't lie, feeling alone is making me sad , also thinking some other dude touching my ex and having sex with her not helping.
5.I realize there is nothiing i can do about it just like i can't control the weather.
6. This web sites and talking to others makes me strong , gives me hope for the future.

Things i don't get,

Why i keep hoping she will reach out sometime? i can't figure it out , is it my ego who want's this? my pride? i cant put my finger on it. i want to forget her but the current apartment i am now keep remind me of her.( soon i will be out)

I wish i could take a pill and erase everything that was with over this year but its not easy.

Joe.

 

[mikey2012]

I would like to write some stuff because its help...

Since my ex dumped me its been one month and two weeks of NC.

1. I keep thinking about her , i don't know if i miss her but some parts of me do.
2. I read a lot of stuff and realize the mistakes i did , learning from them .
3. started to move on with my life , take care of myself and make my dream come true.
3.wrote a list of things i want to learn/achieve- i hope i will make all of them.
4. I won't lie, feeling alone is making me sad , also thinking some other dude touching my ex and having sex with her not helping.
5.I realize there is nothiing i can do about it just like i can't control the weather.
6. This web sites and talking to others makes me strong , gives me hope for the future.

Things i don't get,

Why i keep hoping she will reach out sometime? i can't figure it out , is it my ego who want's this? my pride? i cant put my finger on it. i want to forget her but the current apartment i am now keep remind me of her.( soon i will be out)

I wish i could take a pill and erase everything that was with over this year but its not easy.

Joe.

You miss her and want to get back to the old times. You keep on asking when she will contact you. Who knows ? Maybe next week maybe never . You need to forget it otherwise you will go insane. Just focus on yourself . But never contact her since this will undo all you have done so far. If you walk away now at least you have your dignity . You can't make someone want you. The irony is she will comeback when you have forgetton about her and have a new chick . Watch the movie swingers. Stay strong my friend. If you need help post here. Don't contact her ever. Believe me it will be over and you be a stronger better person. I went through the same ****tt a long time and now the bitvch hits me but I don't want it coz she is divorced fat and had 8 year old kid. Go figure.

 

[spax]

Hi guys,

It's been probably about 12 days since I have contacted my ex (we met up and gave some of each other's stuff back).

I've seen this new girl a couple of times, but I'm not really attracted to her and I think she wants a serious relationship so I will probably ditch her and find a new girl.

Overall it has been around 2 months since I got dumped by my GF of 7 years. I feel free now. It's nice not knowing ANYTHING about her. It's liberating. I strongly advise everyone to delete their ex of Facebook. It helps not having ANY reminder of them at all. Don't keep any of their friends around, nothing.

Start fresh.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I would like to write some stuff because its help...

Since my ex dumped me its been one month and two weeks of NC.

1. I keep thinking about her , i don't know if i miss her but some parts of me do.
2. I read a lot of stuff and realize the mistakes i did , learning from them .
3. started to move on with my life , take care of myself and make my dream come true.
3.wrote a list of things i want to learn/achieve- i hope i will make all of them.
4. I won't lie, feeling alone is making me sad , also thinking some other dude touching my ex and having sex with her not helping.
5.I realize there is nothiing i can do about it just like i can't control the weather.
6. This web sites and talking to others makes me strong , gives me hope for the future.

Things i don't get,

Why i keep hoping she will reach out sometime? i can't figure it out , is it my ego who want's this? my pride? i cant put my finger on it. i want to forget her but the current apartment i am now keep remind me of her.( soon i will be out)

I wish i could take a pill and erase everything that was with over this year but its not easy.

Joe.

No, you want to overcome it, but not delete it from your memory. I get what you mean, but what's worse - what you just went through, or going through what you just went through again because you repeated the exact same behaviors ..again?

I went through what you went through too, feeling lonely, missing her, thinking about who she's with, what she's doing with who she's with, yeah, same stuff, but as written above, this will eat you alive the longer you dwell on it. Plant the idea in your head that one day your ex will not have anywhere near the emotional grip that she has on you now, and you are simply en route to getting there, but you have to want to get there (which it looks like you do) and you ought to follow the advice handed down in this very thread (including your own, improving yourself, becoming aware of your actions, your mistakes) to get there.

You probably want to get a confirmation from her that you aren't so easily replaceable, that she's feeling what you're feeling now, and if that's the case, I'd say yes, it's your bruised ego and pride doing the talking. You have the answers, you know what you have to do - from this point on, it's a combination of sticking to your plan and as the cliche goes, allowing time to heal your wounds.

 

[spax]

Ex texted me 'Happy New Years, hope it was a good one' almost a week after NYE.

Any reason she'd do that? Been NC since Christmas.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Ex texted me 'Happy New Years, hope it was a good one' almost a week after NYE.

Any reason she'd do that? Been NC since Christmas.

Final jeopardy time...

She either wants to screw your brains out several times a day from here to eternity, living happily ever after as your wife, maybe a few kids, no more drama...EVER, a dream come true, or she's just fishing for attention...which is it??? 30....29....28....27.....26.......

 

[Darrenez]

No, you want to overcome it, but not delete it from your memory. I get what you mean, but what's worse - what you just went through, or going through what you just went through again because you repeated the exact same behaviors ..again?

I went through what you went through too, feeling lonely, missing her, thinking about who she's with, what she's doing with who she's with, yeah, same stuff, but as written above, this will eat you alive the longer you dwell on it. Plant the idea in your head that one day your ex will not have anywhere near the emotional grip that she has on you now, and you are simply en route to getting there, but you have to want to get there (which it looks like you do) and you ought to follow the advice handed down in this very thread (including your own, improving yourself, becoming aware of your actions, your mistakes) to get there.

You probably want to get a confirmation from her that you aren't so easily replaceable, that she's feeling what you're feeling now, and if that's the case, I'd say yes, it's your bruised ego and pride doing the talking. You have the answers, you know what you have to do - from this point on, it's a combination of sticking to your plan and as the cliche goes, allowing time to heal your wounds.

I understand exactly what your going through. In my case, it was also after 7 years that she finished with me however the worse part is that it was probably my own fault that she finished with me and thats the worse part that it was all my own fault for something that happened 3 years ago.

Now saying that, I do indeed miss her as do all my family as she was like a daughter to my parents..now 9 months later, I have my own place, taken my weight training seriously , going 5 times a week and my alopecia has left me. So yes I'm looking better than I have for a few years..but yes I still miss her

I haven't even been on a date since we finished..not because of lack of trying..I managed to meet women in bars , talk to them for ages, kiss them, get their number however it doesn't seem to lead to anything ..I'm not a bad looking guy, nice body esp for a 33 year old, wear nice clothes but it is a bit frustrating as I could do with the distraction to get my mind off my ex. Saying that though, when I am out and about esp if I've had a drink or 2 , I don't think of my ex at all...

Its just in the evenings when I'm home alone that things go on in my head:crazy: mainly just old memories which is understandable as we had 7 happy years together..

I am 90 days past NC though, didn't message her on her birthday or XMAS and I definetly won't contact her no matter how much I miss her..its her loss. I'm certainly in a better place now then when I was with her this time last year!

 

[YeeZus]

So I saw my ex today. First day back to office after her wedding. Doesn't feel that bad but still have that rush in my body when I see her. Its going to be an ongoing procedure unless I switch my job. Hopefully soon...!!!!

 

[Yorkex]

So I saw my ex today. First day back to office after her wedding. Doesn't feel that bad but still have that rush in my body when I see her. Its going to be an ongoing procedure unless I switch my job. Hopefully soon...!!!!

WHY will you do that ?

You are in A PRIME position right now. Yes it's gonna sting every time you see her but be mature about it. She made her choice and you can make yours as well ...don't sit and dwell. If there are other girls at the work place , I can tell you right now that they are watching your every move. Start dressing better , looking better and talking better.

She probably rushed into that engagement/marriage so it won't last anyways just like recent marriages. Be happy and change your self and MAKE her see the change.