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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
That feel when your ex sees you with her new +1 and you take it all like a boss and then proceeds to get your attention in underhanded ways.
http://www.reactionimage.org/img/gallery/918476615.jpg
http://www.reactionimage.org/img/gallery/918476615.jpg
Happened in this order.zorg198 said:
1. Was driving, stopped at red light.
They were both driving in a truck, saw her out of the corner of my eye, she instantly sat up and looked to present herself. The guy in the truck was studying me. I just sat there and waited with a smile on my face until the light changed and drove off and looked in my rear view of her turning her head at my car.
2. At gym, receive an email in my phone from facebook about "Are you having problems logging into facebook" on my old account.
"What?....Ohhhh......"
3. 5 mins later get another email with the same thing.
This all happened in a 2-3 hour span.
It's just attention seeking of, "well you blocked me, well.... I'm still here to remind you I still exist and happy with this new guy, blah blah blah blah BS."
I just smiled and laughed.
OH still working my engineering job but I'm about to land something big if things go well. My hard work and perseverance has paid off greatly. Breakups are awesome, it brings the worst out of you, but it also brings out the best
I'm getting recognized in my field that most people take 8 years to accumulate.
Srsly the feeling is great
I do not miss my ex. I am just curious about what they are up to, who they seeing, etc. It feels strange not knowing.
I have had fun the past few weeks though. I have met more girls in the past month than in the last 7 years.
Also, I'm losing weight (Personal Trainer 4 times a week) and getting in shape and the ladies are noticing it and appreciating it.
I'm more suprised that I haven't heard from her again since a few messages a few weeks back.
Oh well, the earth keeps turning. I now compare it to like this...you know how Superman had his first love Lana Lang in his youth? It's like that for me, and I am now waiting to meet my Lois Lane.
I have had fun the past few weeks though. I have met more girls in the past month than in the last 7 years.
Also, I'm losing weight (Personal Trainer 4 times a week) and getting in shape and the ladies are noticing it and appreciating it.
I'm more suprised that I haven't heard from her again since a few messages a few weeks back.
Oh well, the earth keeps turning. I now compare it to like this...you know how Superman had his first love Lana Lang in his youth? It's like that for me, and I am now waiting to meet my Lois Lane.
Firestar786
Senior Don Juan
Gave divorce on the 12th November.
Saw her last on the 19th November.
Spoke to her last on the 31st of December.
No contact since then and dont intend to.
Divorce finalises on 12th Feb.
Saw her last on the 19th November.
Spoke to her last on the 31st of December.
No contact since then and dont intend to.
Divorce finalises on 12th Feb.
This week i will complete 60 days of NC... damn i never thought i will hold myself contacting her.
This Friday its her birthday.. i have no idea why i get nervous about it.
Also i wonder , its makes me sick to my stomach that its been almost one year together and she forgot about me this quickly. no contact from her.
I don't think i will ever hear from her or ever see her. part of me is sad about it but i realize its for the best.
This Friday its her birthday.. i have no idea why i get nervous about it.
Also i wonder , its makes me sick to my stomach that its been almost one year together and she forgot about me this quickly. no contact from her.
I don't think i will ever hear from her or ever see her. part of me is sad about it but i realize its for the best.
About 10 days ago, I was really depressed at night and replied to my ex's Happy New Year text to me... About 5 days after she sent it to me with "Yeah, it was a great event... One that I'll remember for a lifetime. What's news with you?"
10 says later she replies "Hey spax, oh just the usual.. Work etc. Any news on your front?"
A very cold message I think and it took her 10 days to send it! However the thing is, I'd like to arrange one last meet up (drinks at night) as Coach Corey Wayne suggests so I can try plug her. I've lost a lot of weight since the break up and have abs for the first time!
How should I navigate from here to try get this meet up? I'm thinking..
"Yeah there have been quite a few developments of late. Next time you're in town, give me a call and perhaps we can catch up on it all. "
10 says later she replies "Hey spax, oh just the usual.. Work etc. Any news on your front?"
A very cold message I think and it took her 10 days to send it! However the thing is, I'd like to arrange one last meet up (drinks at night) as Coach Corey Wayne suggests so I can try plug her. I've lost a lot of weight since the break up and have abs for the first time!
How should I navigate from here to try get this meet up? I'm thinking..
"Yeah there have been quite a few developments of late. Next time you're in town, give me a call and perhaps we can catch up on it all. "
Spax Buddy.spax said:
Why u are doing this to yourself? it took her 10 days to respond your msg. is it really that hard to understand she doesn't care ? person who cares gives their attention immediately , not after 10 days. do yourself a favor and cut all contact .
I know , its hard . i am in two month NC and i keep thinking about her , miss her. but when i think about it i say to myself,fvck.. she treated me like crap.. never respected me. never loved me ,used me. why i need this person in my life.
Stay strong, maker the changes in your life without her.
Joe.
Challenge Accepted!!
Monday January 19, 2015 (Day 4)...
Last time we spoke was on Thursday January 15th...same old same old. I told her if she just trusted me and let things happen, to live in the present and secure our future this could have worked, she disagreed (obviously)
She told me that she is over me, she is over us and she believes that this has been the case for a long time now but misunderstood love for not wanting to be alone. She also mentioned she has met someone and is already feeling better. This didn't make me mad or upset, just confused and lost as to how it came to this and why she kept dragging me along for her ride for that long a time. I did ask her that and she responded that she had just recently come to that realization.
I read a short book last night (Break up, Wake up, Move on by Randy Siegel) and there are a lot of very good points and valid information as to how to deal with a breakup...a few things I already knew, but a lot more insight that I had never before considered. I went to sleep with a clear mind, and the first time in weeks that I have slept the whole night without waking up with my heart racing. I know I haven't even come close the crossing the finish line but I do believe the first hurdle has been cleared without tripping over it.
Today at work (yes we work together...grrrrrrr!!!) I was in the work area performing some tests, no small talk, no asking how the weekend was, asked a question about work and went on my way with my tasks at hand. After about 20 minutes of sharing the same space, she was visibly agitated and left the area to go to another lab. I couldn't help but smile (not outwardly, I mean my heart and soul were smiling) knowing that I was the bigger person in all of this and more importantly, that she can't handle the fact that on Thursday I was a grovelling idiot and after the weekend, I am kind of my old joking, pep in my step former self.
I know this is going to be difficult, I have known that from the day the breakup happened, however, I know my strength, I know my abilities. realism is the key here. I think mine and a lot of 'dumpees' biggest mistake is trying to rationalize where it all went wrong, trying to idealize her and the pedestal we put her on, and the toughest part, romanticizing in our heads that the relationship was 'good' and 'working'...no it wasn't!!
Day 4 is half over and already I can stand in the same area and not think about talking to her every second I am beside her. Yes, I still look at her and 'romanticize' how great we were, but that feeling is beginning to wane, reality takes over and I didn't have to scream at myself saying 'stop'...it just happened.
Thanks for listening
Monday January 19, 2015 (Day 4)...
Last time we spoke was on Thursday January 15th...same old same old. I told her if she just trusted me and let things happen, to live in the present and secure our future this could have worked, she disagreed (obviously)
She told me that she is over me, she is over us and she believes that this has been the case for a long time now but misunderstood love for not wanting to be alone. She also mentioned she has met someone and is already feeling better. This didn't make me mad or upset, just confused and lost as to how it came to this and why she kept dragging me along for her ride for that long a time. I did ask her that and she responded that she had just recently come to that realization.
I read a short book last night (Break up, Wake up, Move on by Randy Siegel) and there are a lot of very good points and valid information as to how to deal with a breakup...a few things I already knew, but a lot more insight that I had never before considered. I went to sleep with a clear mind, and the first time in weeks that I have slept the whole night without waking up with my heart racing. I know I haven't even come close the crossing the finish line but I do believe the first hurdle has been cleared without tripping over it.
Today at work (yes we work together...grrrrrrr!!!) I was in the work area performing some tests, no small talk, no asking how the weekend was, asked a question about work and went on my way with my tasks at hand. After about 20 minutes of sharing the same space, she was visibly agitated and left the area to go to another lab. I couldn't help but smile (not outwardly, I mean my heart and soul were smiling) knowing that I was the bigger person in all of this and more importantly, that she can't handle the fact that on Thursday I was a grovelling idiot and after the weekend, I am kind of my old joking, pep in my step former self.
I know this is going to be difficult, I have known that from the day the breakup happened, however, I know my strength, I know my abilities. realism is the key here. I think mine and a lot of 'dumpees' biggest mistake is trying to rationalize where it all went wrong, trying to idealize her and the pedestal we put her on, and the toughest part, romanticizing in our heads that the relationship was 'good' and 'working'...no it wasn't!!
Day 4 is half over and already I can stand in the same area and not think about talking to her every second I am beside her. Yes, I still look at her and 'romanticize' how great we were, but that feeling is beginning to wane, reality takes over and I didn't have to scream at myself saying 'stop'...it just happened.
Thanks for listening
Thing thats annoying me is the fact she moved on so quick and is happy with someone else. And i know thats immature and a ridiculous thing too feel but i cant help it. Oh well. Plodding along at the moment. Hope you lads are doing okay.
Between_The_Lines
Master Don Juan
It's neither immature nor ridiculous - completely natural and a rite of passage for many of us. Take pride in each day that goes by in which NO CONTACT is made. If you can do one, you can do two. If you can do two, you can do three, you can do ten, you can do one hundred, you can do...the rest of your life.chaj3_11 said:
Two pieces of advice in your specific case:
-delve deep into female psychology with the intent of learning how and why it is that they can move on so fast. I think you stand more to benefit from digging up the reasons yourself than me telling you outright - you'll cast your net wider and learn more along the way.
-the angry phase? If you find yourself caught up in it, continuously tell yourself that it's temporary and that you will break free from it one day. No rush, but try to keep making steady progress in this area. Don't allow yourself to become a misogynist because of a crushing experience with one girl. All the best.
Christophermaybe
New Member
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2015
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15 days for me. Almost slipped up tonight...