"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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the nervous girl

J

jonesly

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Hola DJs, since this is my first post, I'll give a little introduction. I am Jonesly, a once, but now recovering, total AFC. I started reading various books, and websites on seduction about a year ago in order to change my ways. My life has since changed, but I still have a long long way to go. I found these forums about a week or so ago, and have read about half of the bible. I think this site has some excellent material.

Now to my question. About a week ago I met this girl when out with a couple of friends. Things felt like they went almost perfectly that night, we talked much, built rapport, got her phone number, had some kino going. I thought this one was a sure bet.

The next weekend, I get her to my place to watch a DVD, and have her cook me dinner. This time though, she looked extremely nervous all day. I got kino, she didn't back off, but she didn't respond with any inititave of her own either. She wouldn't look me in the eyes much, and she moved her body so it was facing away from me. I'll usually go for a kiss or more in this situation, but she looked like she was terrified or something. So, I let her go without even trying for the kiss.

I thought I'd blown it, but she called me, and it seems we'll go out again. Now the question: what kinds of things have DJs done to make girls feel less nervous, less intimidated, and more comfortable?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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L

locarius

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In his Advanced series, DeAngelo suggests just taking her hand and looking her in the eyes and say "Don't be nervous... everything is going to be fine."
 
B

biker_gixxer

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Maybe there was something going on with her that day. Don't automatically think it's something you did or said.
 
T

tmpgstx

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You just have to lean in an do it Dawg. She'll go with the flow.
 
Desdinova

Desdinova

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Was this a first date?

Perhaps you should have taken her out to do an activity instead of inviting her over. She's still seeing you as a stranger, and may have been more comfortable after "getting to know you better" after a few dates.

Women will put up a shield if they haven't been on at least one actual date with a guy. They seem to need that so that they feel the guy doesn't just want sex.

Next time, go out on a date before you bring her back to your place for supper. She'll be much more comfortable.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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