"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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the nervous girl

jonesly

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Hola DJs, since this is my first post, I'll give a little introduction. I am Jonesly, a once, but now recovering, total AFC. I started reading various books, and websites on seduction about a year ago in order to change my ways. My life has since changed, but I still have a long long way to go. I found these forums about a week or so ago, and have read about half of the bible. I think this site has some excellent material.

Now to my question. About a week ago I met this girl when out with a couple of friends. Things felt like they went almost perfectly that night, we talked much, built rapport, got her phone number, had some kino going. I thought this one was a sure bet.

The next weekend, I get her to my place to watch a DVD, and have her cook me dinner. This time though, she looked extremely nervous all day. I got kino, she didn't back off, but she didn't respond with any inititave of her own either. She wouldn't look me in the eyes much, and she moved her body so it was facing away from me. I'll usually go for a kiss or more in this situation, but she looked like she was terrified or something. So, I let her go without even trying for the kiss.

I thought I'd blown it, but she called me, and it seems we'll go out again. Now the question: what kinds of things have DJs done to make girls feel less nervous, less intimidated, and more comfortable?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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locarius

Don Juan
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In his Advanced series, DeAngelo suggests just taking her hand and looking her in the eyes and say "Don't be nervous... everything is going to be fine."
 

biker_gixxer

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Maybe there was something going on with her that day. Don't automatically think it's something you did or said.
 

tmpgstx

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You just have to lean in an do it Dawg. She'll go with the flow.
 

Desdinova

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Was this a first date?

Perhaps you should have taken her out to do an activity instead of inviting her over. She's still seeing you as a stranger, and may have been more comfortable after "getting to know you better" after a few dates.

Women will put up a shield if they haven't been on at least one actual date with a guy. They seem to need that so that they feel the guy doesn't just want sex.

Next time, go out on a date before you bring her back to your place for supper. She'll be much more comfortable.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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