Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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the nervous girl

jonesly

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Hola DJs, since this is my first post, I'll give a little introduction. I am Jonesly, a once, but now recovering, total AFC. I started reading various books, and websites on seduction about a year ago in order to change my ways. My life has since changed, but I still have a long long way to go. I found these forums about a week or so ago, and have read about half of the bible. I think this site has some excellent material.

Now to my question. About a week ago I met this girl when out with a couple of friends. Things felt like they went almost perfectly that night, we talked much, built rapport, got her phone number, had some kino going. I thought this one was a sure bet.

The next weekend, I get her to my place to watch a DVD, and have her cook me dinner. This time though, she looked extremely nervous all day. I got kino, she didn't back off, but she didn't respond with any inititave of her own either. She wouldn't look me in the eyes much, and she moved her body so it was facing away from me. I'll usually go for a kiss or more in this situation, but she looked like she was terrified or something. So, I let her go without even trying for the kiss.

I thought I'd blown it, but she called me, and it seems we'll go out again. Now the question: what kinds of things have DJs done to make girls feel less nervous, less intimidated, and more comfortable?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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locarius

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In his Advanced series, DeAngelo suggests just taking her hand and looking her in the eyes and say "Don't be nervous... everything is going to be fine."
 

biker_gixxer

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Maybe there was something going on with her that day. Don't automatically think it's something you did or said.
 

tmpgstx

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You just have to lean in an do it Dawg. She'll go with the flow.
 

Desdinova

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Was this a first date?

Perhaps you should have taken her out to do an activity instead of inviting her over. She's still seeing you as a stranger, and may have been more comfortable after "getting to know you better" after a few dates.

Women will put up a shield if they haven't been on at least one actual date with a guy. They seem to need that so that they feel the guy doesn't just want sex.

Next time, go out on a date before you bring her back to your place for supper. She'll be much more comfortable.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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