You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Man, like I didn't see that coming.I finally told her how I felt during a conversation that lasted for hours. I said I was very attracted to her somewhere in the middle but I handled it wrongly. I didn't take my time to explain why I was so romantically interested nor how a relationship between us could work. She looked at me with a smile that confirmed she wasn't interested.
LOL! I'm thinking about carving another notch in my virtual bedpostI was on loveshack.org for a period of time trying to help the frustrated masses but they banned me.
Good point, some guys are really beyond saving...Docs said:No, we weren't ALL like that, maybe you were, but I was a horrible AFC, but not near that bad.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Rollo Tomassi said:DES, heheh,..I'm already starting fires there. Join me brother
Think of how well Plate Theory will go over here,..heh
*Lauging* You are going to hell. Who are you to shatter the ideoligies of these poor helplous souls who believe that when people fall in love that it was meant to be, written in the stars? However wait up a second. I'm thinking about joining now as my DJ alter ego (i.e an AFC) MilrenkNO (not to be confused with milren know but then again who cares). I'll start threads about how I'm in love and any other pathetic story I can dream up.Rollo Tomassi said:I'm going straight to hell, I know,..
Plate Theory
I had to edit out the community specific terminology, but it's essentially the same post.
I feel like an arsonist now. All I need is some gasoline now,..
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Ummm, it says "Invalid Thread" when I go to it. Maybe the Admin took it down?Rollo Tomassi said:I'm going straight to hell, I know,..
Plate Theory
I had to edit out the community specific terminology, but it's essentially the same post.
I feel like an arsonist now. All I need is some gasoline now,..
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.