You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Man, like I didn't see that coming.I finally told her how I felt during a conversation that lasted for hours. I said I was very attracted to her somewhere in the middle but I handled it wrongly. I didn't take my time to explain why I was so romantically interested nor how a relationship between us could work. She looked at me with a smile that confirmed she wasn't interested.
LOL! I'm thinking about carving another notch in my virtual bedpostI was on loveshack.org for a period of time trying to help the frustrated masses but they banned me.
Good point, some guys are really beyond saving...Docs said:No, we weren't ALL like that, maybe you were, but I was a horrible AFC, but not near that bad.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Rollo Tomassi said:DES, heheh,..I'm already starting fires there. Join me brother
Think of how well Plate Theory will go over here,..heh
*Lauging* You are going to hell. Who are you to shatter the ideoligies of these poor helplous souls who believe that when people fall in love that it was meant to be, written in the stars? However wait up a second. I'm thinking about joining now as my DJ alter ego (i.e an AFC) MilrenkNO (not to be confused with milren know but then again who cares). I'll start threads about how I'm in love and any other pathetic story I can dream up.Rollo Tomassi said:I'm going straight to hell, I know,..
Plate Theory
I had to edit out the community specific terminology, but it's essentially the same post.
I feel like an arsonist now. All I need is some gasoline now,..
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Ummm, it says "Invalid Thread" when I go to it. Maybe the Admin took it down?Rollo Tomassi said:I'm going straight to hell, I know,..
Plate Theory
I had to edit out the community specific terminology, but it's essentially the same post.
I feel like an arsonist now. All I need is some gasoline now,..
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.