The idea that rejection is nothing personal

[New_Journey]

women are often looking for a cookie cutter rich, fit guy.

Women want everything, all the time, forever.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Golden Retriever energy has nothing to do with pet ownership status.

IYKYK

 

[CoolWave1331]

Is personal - When she rejects she is saying you're not good enough (in her eyes)

This is okay, you're not going to be everyone's cup and you should expect that. Even if really handsome guy and people have told you many times, it doesn't mean every woman you see will worship you.

Think the only way to really avoid pain is to only give time to the women who actually want to meet/talk to you. Know guys in situations where they've been chasing specific girls for many months, no progress and always seem stressed out and complaining. This is really stupid, why would guys do this? If seems very difficult it is because she doesn't like you, she doesn't have interest. Supposed to be fun when you like each other.

If no girls like you - I have one friend who says only fat girls like him (LOL), you have to make yourself better. As example: I was very skinny teen years, like 130-140lbs. I did wrestling so I exercised a little bit but was not something I took very seriously at the time. Some girls liked me but I notice the "bigger" guys had an easier time.

 

[Mike32ct]

Know guys in situations where they've been chasing specific girls for many months, no progress and always seem stressed out and complaining. This is really stupid, why would guys do this? If seems very difficult it is because she doesn't like you, she doesn't have interest. Supposed to be fun when you like each other.

Fully agree. There is no “long game” with women.

Generally, things either get off the ground (romantically/sexually) in a relatively short amount of time or they never do.

 

[SW15]

Fully agree. There is no “long game” with women.

Generally, things either get off the ground (romantically/sexually) in a relatively short amount of time or they never do.

I agree with this. I believe in making the first move and setting a sexual tone for the interaction immediately. Caleb Jones (aka Alpha Male 2.0 / Blackdragon) has called this the Early Frame Announcement (EFA).

It's not ideal to give off any indicators of being a beta male in the early part of an interaction. When beta tells are made, women start treating men like betas and it creates a negative vibe.

 

[oOh Nasty]

This is the name of the game. Rejection, no matter what, is personal . Well, at the very least, we're wired to take things personally. People who act like they don't feel a thing after being rejected are either borderline sociopathic or have reached levels of enlightenment that not even 007 can acquire.

Some men deal with it better than others and that's what separates those with emotional tenacity and those that turn into trainwrecks when their one-itis ends up picking his homie instead of him. At the end of the day, there's definitely a "sting" no matter what. Like others have said, we just have to not over-think it and recalibrate ourselves to move on from it as soon as possible.

Rejection from a one-itis is going to sting for any man, no matter what. Rejection from random girls, well, I don't know because I'm not a cold approacher, but I'm sure there's still an initial "wtf was I missing?" element of thought that happens after the rejection.

But all of these thoughts go back to the same point: that perhaps one was not "Man" enough or "Alpha" enough or masculine enough. Not tall enough, not enough hair. Not built enough. Cared too much. Too old. Displayed too much simpish behavior. Was too desparate. Not cool enough. Whatever it is.

And it makes dudes have deep introspection on self, because deep down inside (if your testosterone levels are normal), women that you find highly attractive also being highly attracted to you is important to you. That's why men come up with systems to become "holistically Alpha" to lessen their chances of rejection. At the end of the day, if we had our way, we'd want to be a version of ourselves that makes our ideal woman look at us and have uncontrollable admiration and lust that makes her lose all sense of logic.

And, for lots of us, if we get rejected, we realize how far away from that ideal we are. Not saying that it's mentally healthy by any means.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Comparable to an audience either not laughing at a joke you've worked really hard on, or merely chuckling: The crowd COULD be sh-t, the joke might need fine tuning, or excision from your act altogether

It only hurts as much as you allow it to though

 

[BillyPilgrim]

It only hurts as much as you allow it to though

So true. And if you try hard enough, you can eliminate your emotions altogether.

#selfimprovement4life247365

Lolz Baron, way to let @oOh Nasty's post go right over your head.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Lolz Baron, way to let @oOh Nasty's post go right over your head.

He has a point regarding sociopaths. Their callousness and fridgidity gives them an edge over "normal" folks. Good news is: EVERYONE can strengthen those muscles, without becoming the next Ted Bundy or Osama Bin Laden. Google The Wisdom Of Psychopaths by Kevin Dutton

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

If a woman rejects me because of my looks, that's personal.

 

[YourGreatestFear]

There are many instances, however, where the rejection is personal. Many times, a rejection happens because of something the guy said or did (and the rejection wouldn't have happened if he didn't say/do whatever thing drove her to reject him). It's been discussed in length on the forum about how all it takes to get rejected (or to make the woman quickly lose interest) is for the guy to say/do even one thing that gives her the ick factor.

It's just a skill issue. Good game isn't when a woman never reacts negatively. Good game is when you can control her reactions and emotions, when you can deal with negative reactions without being reactive yourself and changing her state without losing your value. What most guys consider as "rejections" are just **** tests or temporary bad reactions.

As for me, I'd much rather get rejected for my looks, height, or ethnicity than get rejected for saying or doing the "wrong" thing. At least with a looks/height/ethnic rejection, it doesn't mean the woman thinks there's anything flawed with me personally. Alas though, I'd venture to guess way more of my rejections (as well as instances where the woman quickly loses interest) have been of the personal variety.

You're basically a slave to a woman's validation. A woman wants to see if she can control you. A man who's easily controlled by her reactions is a weak, low value man. Thus, she loses her interest. It's not what you do, but how you react to what she does.

You're basically a Pavlov's dog. Women control your mood, they control your state, and your thoughts, as well as your self-esteem. Can't you see how ridiculous it is? SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU. And YOU know YOU. So why would you put her opinion about you above your own opinion about yourself? This makes no sense. It's like someone talking crap about your favorite game without even playing it, or dropping it after playing for 5 minutes, and you instantly agreeing with them and putting their opinion above yours, lmao.


Everything you do, you do to please her. And she feels it. Compare it to being authentic - you do something because that's WHO you are. She reacts negatively. But you don't care. You're a man who knows who he is. You know better how you should act. So you don't care if she's frowning and tells you that you're lame. Because you aren't saying or doing things to please her, but because they authentically come from your core being. A self-assured man burps. The woman tells him, "it's disgusting". He burps again, this time right into her face, and then laughs. He doesn't care what she thinks of him or his actions, he knows better who he is and how he should or shouldn't act. And she's even more attracted to him after that, even if she pretends to be offended.

Rejection is never truly personal. And even if it is - why should you care?

p.s. There's a video on youtube that covers this topic rather well, though the guy is a bit too soft and nice in his interpretations.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's just a skill issue. Good game isn't when a woman never reacts negatively. Good game is when you can control her reactions and emotions, when you can deal with negative reactions without being reactive yourself and changing her state without losing your value. What most guys consider as "rejections" are just **** tests or temporary bad reactions.

You're basically a slave to a woman's validation. A woman wants to see if she can control you. A man who's easily controlled by her reactions is a weak, low value man. Thus, she loses her interest. It's not what you do, but how you react to what she does.

You're basically a Pavlov's dog. Women control your mood, they control your state, and your thoughts, as well as your self-esteem. Can't you see how ridiculous it is? SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU. And YOU know YOU. So why would you put her opinion about you above your own opinion about yourself? This makes no sense. It's like someone talking crap about your favorite game without even playing it, or dropping it after playing for 5 minutes, and you instantly agreeing with them and putting their opinion above yours, lmao.


Everything you do, you do to please her. And she feels it. Compare it to being authentic - you do something because that's WHO you are. She reacts negatively. But you don't care. You're a man who knows who he is. You know better how you should act. So you don't care if she's frowning and tells you that you're lame. Because you aren't saying or doing things to please her, but because they authentically come from your core being. A self-assured man burps. The woman tells him, "it's disgusting". He burps again, this time right into her face, and then laughs. He doesn't care what she thinks of him or his actions, he knows better who he is and how he should or shouldn't act. And she's even more attracted to him after that, even if she pretends to be offended.

Rejection is never truly personal. And even if it is - why should you care?

p.s. There's a video on youtube that covers this topic rather well, though the guy is a bit too soft and nice in his interpretations.

It's been said on the forum that my wardrobe could use an overhaul.

Guess what though? I dress the way I do because that's how I want to dress. I dress this way for me; not for a woman.

Couldn't that be interpreted as an attractive character trait (as I'm doing something many a woman might not like, yet I have an "I don't give a flip" attitude...in other words, I'm not going to let a woman's preferences impact my wardrobe)? Talk about not caring about a woman's approval.