I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
LET GO. DIG IN.Originally posted by DarkDream:
You possess the most powerful tool to power and success: the ability to choose - the will of the spirit.
You have the choice. Choose life, choose happiness, choose power.
Yes... what are all the chumps going to do about it?Originally posted by WildThang:
But now - what are you going to do about it?![]()
Find me some hunting grounds.Originally posted by WildThang:
Okay - you got it right on the nose. The 'I'm taking you home' scenario was perfect - definitely the difference between a DJ and an AFC.
Definitely Bible material too.
But now - what are you going to do about it?![]()
It was really funny Maximus. I was around half way through writing my post when I noticed your post. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the type of things you were talking about (letting go especially) were directly relating to what I was producing.Originally posted by Maximus:
LET GO. DIG IN.
A philosophy I have come to live by recently, with the help of this board and my own life experiences. Your post articulated to the nth degree what I have been thinking for a while now.
A true writer has the ability to articulate through analogy and story what someone else is thinking. It's the "Holy Crap, that's me!" reaction as you read something.
I would like to know your thoughts on my not-so-little article a while back.
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/010375.html
Nothing revelational to a lot of people here. I just wanted to make my first post a complilation of thoughts and experiences so far in life. I also wanted to help RoadWarrior with his "6 Women" predicament. Don't we all wish for that! LOL
I think it would dovetail nicely with your article. Yours was definitley more concrete to comprehend I believe. Whenever I say to myself "Let go and dig in", your article is what I will be thinking of.
Excellent post.
Maximus
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I've read a lot of Richard Dawkins books, am a great fan of Desmond Morris, and Edward O. Wilson (his book "On Human Virtue" I found fascinating). I have big science background and have found evolutionary psychology invaluable in understanding human beings.Originally posted by PortugueseMeatball:
DarkDream,
First of all, I want to thank you. For the last week or so I've been really bummed, I don't know why. You REALLY uplifted my spirit. And I will SURELY use this post if I ever face a loss of vital energy!
This was genuinely a herculean task, writing this post!!! Great job! I've only read about 25% of it and I totally agree with you.
I've acquired this way of thinking about what each sex seeks on the other after reading a chapter from the book "The Selfish Gene" by R. Dawkins (forgot the first name...). He discusses that each sex uses criteria to select a sexual partner based on external appearances. The final product is selecting a partner that maximizes the chances of survival of the offspring. A strong, healthy individual denounces that he has a strong immune system, and it is most likely to pass it on to the children, whereas a weak and ill individual may pass that illness to the offspring. This results in lost time -- the other partner could've used that time to help giving birth to the offspring from a healtier individual! This is a very biological-oriented view, but you may try to find a relation within the human species -- which you argumented reasonably, at least I haven't found any objections so far to your reasoning!
I'm to blame for not having post on this subject already! I've tried to write a small post about this, which became an essay, and it got so big, which sections, and subsections and... oh damn, I simply gave up because I felt it would became so heavy that nobody would read it. Fortunately, you proved me wrong by showing that it can be elaborated in an interesting fashion. Great job!
TCOY, DarkDream
[This message has been edited by PortugueseMeatball (edited 01-14-2002).]
Originally posted by Pedro F. Marcos:
Temos que as castigar!!
Originally posted by DarkDream:
I've read a lot of Richard Dawkins books, am a great fan of Desmond Morris, and Edward O. Wilson (his book "On Human Virtue" I found fascinating). I have big science background and have found evolutionary psychology invaluable in understanding human beings.
Meatball, go ahead and read the rest of my post: the heart and real crux of it comes later.
--DD
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.