She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
LET GO. DIG IN.Originally posted by DarkDream:
You possess the most powerful tool to power and success: the ability to choose - the will of the spirit.
You have the choice. Choose life, choose happiness, choose power.
Yes... what are all the chumps going to do about it?Originally posted by WildThang:
But now - what are you going to do about it?![]()
Find me some hunting grounds.Originally posted by WildThang:
Okay - you got it right on the nose. The 'I'm taking you home' scenario was perfect - definitely the difference between a DJ and an AFC.
Definitely Bible material too.
But now - what are you going to do about it?![]()
It was really funny Maximus. I was around half way through writing my post when I noticed your post. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the type of things you were talking about (letting go especially) were directly relating to what I was producing.Originally posted by Maximus:
LET GO. DIG IN.
A philosophy I have come to live by recently, with the help of this board and my own life experiences. Your post articulated to the nth degree what I have been thinking for a while now.
A true writer has the ability to articulate through analogy and story what someone else is thinking. It's the "Holy Crap, that's me!" reaction as you read something.
I would like to know your thoughts on my not-so-little article a while back.
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/010375.html
Nothing revelational to a lot of people here. I just wanted to make my first post a complilation of thoughts and experiences so far in life. I also wanted to help RoadWarrior with his "6 Women" predicament. Don't we all wish for that! LOL
I think it would dovetail nicely with your article. Yours was definitley more concrete to comprehend I believe. Whenever I say to myself "Let go and dig in", your article is what I will be thinking of.
Excellent post.
Maximus
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I've read a lot of Richard Dawkins books, am a great fan of Desmond Morris, and Edward O. Wilson (his book "On Human Virtue" I found fascinating). I have big science background and have found evolutionary psychology invaluable in understanding human beings.Originally posted by PortugueseMeatball:
DarkDream,
First of all, I want to thank you. For the last week or so I've been really bummed, I don't know why. You REALLY uplifted my spirit. And I will SURELY use this post if I ever face a loss of vital energy!
This was genuinely a herculean task, writing this post!!! Great job! I've only read about 25% of it and I totally agree with you.
I've acquired this way of thinking about what each sex seeks on the other after reading a chapter from the book "The Selfish Gene" by R. Dawkins (forgot the first name...). He discusses that each sex uses criteria to select a sexual partner based on external appearances. The final product is selecting a partner that maximizes the chances of survival of the offspring. A strong, healthy individual denounces that he has a strong immune system, and it is most likely to pass it on to the children, whereas a weak and ill individual may pass that illness to the offspring. This results in lost time -- the other partner could've used that time to help giving birth to the offspring from a healtier individual! This is a very biological-oriented view, but you may try to find a relation within the human species -- which you argumented reasonably, at least I haven't found any objections so far to your reasoning!
I'm to blame for not having post on this subject already! I've tried to write a small post about this, which became an essay, and it got so big, which sections, and subsections and... oh damn, I simply gave up because I felt it would became so heavy that nobody would read it. Fortunately, you proved me wrong by showing that it can be elaborated in an interesting fashion. Great job!
TCOY, DarkDream
[This message has been edited by PortugueseMeatball (edited 01-14-2002).]
Originally posted by Pedro F. Marcos:
Temos que as castigar!!
Originally posted by DarkDream:
I've read a lot of Richard Dawkins books, am a great fan of Desmond Morris, and Edward O. Wilson (his book "On Human Virtue" I found fascinating). I have big science background and have found evolutionary psychology invaluable in understanding human beings.
Meatball, go ahead and read the rest of my post: the heart and real crux of it comes later.
--DD
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.