"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
The friend's ex?
- Thread starter Findog
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
scrouds
Master Don Juan
sexysuave
Senior Don Juan
Are you OBLIDGED to go ???????? I mean, seriously, what is your thinking on this one?? You couldn't just say that you're busy, like I'm sure tens of girls have told you in the past when they didn't wanna hang out?? That's polite enough.. "oh, I already have plans, sorry"... you do this once or twice and she should take the hint... you going there, even after all that texting, makes it seem like you have some sort of secret agenda, that maybe somehow you do end up secretly hittin it.. That's actually what I sort of think, because I can't figure out why you would go if you DON'T wanna hit it?? lol.. seriously, you dont' need a lady friend and especially not one who your buddy just broke up with.. that's a b*tch move man.. just tell her that you forgot you had plans (or just stand her up)..
But hey, your life.. good luck whatever you do
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
SecondHalf
Master Don Juan
Just go boink her and kiss off the friendship.Findog said:
You don't seem to be able say no to this chick.
You appear to want a compromise.
You want the people on this site to OK it.
Even if you only go to the symphony, she could lie about it.
There is no a55 good enough to risk it.
No more opinions from me.
SH
Never tolerate bad behavior simply because the frame has changed. If she's not romantic material because her behavior is shady and skecthy then why would you want a friend with the same traits?
Buddha_Mind
Master Don Juan
Walk carefully here. This woman is bad news. If he is saying eff this bish, you have to keep your space to protect your friendship with him. If you care about B, getting with T's ex of 6 months IS going to create friction -- and are you all going to start hanging out together? Even if you could have had some unique relationship with this girl, she was none the less with T, and this is going to cause a bunch of muddled sh!t.
My $0.02. I know it can be tempting as hell but women can be devilish, she is clearly looking out for her best interests, maybe you are too, but it would likely hurt T and create weird vibes with B. You can talk about it with them -- ask T straight up why this bish is so crazy. Maybe you have no idea what he's dealt with.
Buddha_Mind
Master Don Juan
I know you are eager for some action and romance and what not, but this chick is going to leave behind some damage and flack. Watch out.
I have no intention of doing anything romantic with this chick at all - I consider this doing her a favor by going with her to the symphony since she says she has an extra ticket. As far as I'm concerned, I had no plans for Saturday night and this is nothing more than a way to pass the time for three hours.Buddha_Mind said:
I had a date tonight with somebody else that went well and will see again Monday night - somebody that didn't date one of my friends. I don't want to jeopardize my friendship with B or this other plate I consider promising. I told this girl that I would only go to the symphony with her under the understanding that it is platonic and nothing else. I have one plate I'm getting regular sex from and another plate that i consider pretty promising that I saw tonight. As far as I'm concerned, this is a free ticket to the symphony and nothing else. There's no reason to pursue anything romantic with this chick.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
scrouds
Master Don Juan
Then why go at all? You short on friends?Findog said:
Yeah right. I'm sure there is SOMETHING better going on.Findog said:
That is exactly what you are doing. If your friend finds out there is nothing you can say that will convince him otherwise.Findog said:
Actions speak louder than words dude.Findog said:
You must REALLY love the symphony to even consider fvcking with a real friendship over a chick supposedly means little to you.Findog said:
In my opinion you are lying to all of us and probably yourself as well. You may be looking for an ego validation by spending time with this flirty chick and even that is pretty lame.
Here's a little test for you: If your intentions are true, as you claim they are, then why don't you call your buddy and give him a heads up that you are taking his ex out on a friendly date. I bet you can't and won't do this.
So while you are getting ready for your date, ask yourself why you are getting dressed up nice and making sure you look your best. Do you do that for your other "friends"? Do you do that if you are going to hang with your male friends?
Pretty sad when a dude will risk his real friendships for some pvssy. It's even worse when he does it just to be around some pvssy.
Lame dude!