"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The friend's ex?
- Thread starter Findog
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
scrouds
Master Don Juan
sexysuave
Senior Don Juan
Are you OBLIDGED to go ???????? I mean, seriously, what is your thinking on this one?? You couldn't just say that you're busy, like I'm sure tens of girls have told you in the past when they didn't wanna hang out?? That's polite enough.. "oh, I already have plans, sorry"... you do this once or twice and she should take the hint... you going there, even after all that texting, makes it seem like you have some sort of secret agenda, that maybe somehow you do end up secretly hittin it.. That's actually what I sort of think, because I can't figure out why you would go if you DON'T wanna hit it?? lol.. seriously, you dont' need a lady friend and especially not one who your buddy just broke up with.. that's a b*tch move man.. just tell her that you forgot you had plans (or just stand her up)..
But hey, your life.. good luck whatever you do
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
SecondHalf
Master Don Juan
Just go boink her and kiss off the friendship.Findog said:
You don't seem to be able say no to this chick.
You appear to want a compromise.
You want the people on this site to OK it.
Even if you only go to the symphony, she could lie about it.
There is no a55 good enough to risk it.
No more opinions from me.
SH
Never tolerate bad behavior simply because the frame has changed. If she's not romantic material because her behavior is shady and skecthy then why would you want a friend with the same traits?
Buddha_Mind
Master Don Juan
Walk carefully here. This woman is bad news. If he is saying eff this bish, you have to keep your space to protect your friendship with him. If you care about B, getting with T's ex of 6 months IS going to create friction -- and are you all going to start hanging out together? Even if you could have had some unique relationship with this girl, she was none the less with T, and this is going to cause a bunch of muddled sh!t.
My $0.02. I know it can be tempting as hell but women can be devilish, she is clearly looking out for her best interests, maybe you are too, but it would likely hurt T and create weird vibes with B. You can talk about it with them -- ask T straight up why this bish is so crazy. Maybe you have no idea what he's dealt with.
Buddha_Mind
Master Don Juan
I know you are eager for some action and romance and what not, but this chick is going to leave behind some damage and flack. Watch out.
I have no intention of doing anything romantic with this chick at all - I consider this doing her a favor by going with her to the symphony since she says she has an extra ticket. As far as I'm concerned, I had no plans for Saturday night and this is nothing more than a way to pass the time for three hours.Buddha_Mind said:
I had a date tonight with somebody else that went well and will see again Monday night - somebody that didn't date one of my friends. I don't want to jeopardize my friendship with B or this other plate I consider promising. I told this girl that I would only go to the symphony with her under the understanding that it is platonic and nothing else. I have one plate I'm getting regular sex from and another plate that i consider pretty promising that I saw tonight. As far as I'm concerned, this is a free ticket to the symphony and nothing else. There's no reason to pursue anything romantic with this chick.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
scrouds
Master Don Juan
Then why go at all? You short on friends?Findog said:
Yeah right. I'm sure there is SOMETHING better going on.Findog said:
That is exactly what you are doing. If your friend finds out there is nothing you can say that will convince him otherwise.Findog said:
Actions speak louder than words dude.Findog said:
You must REALLY love the symphony to even consider fvcking with a real friendship over a chick supposedly means little to you.Findog said:
In my opinion you are lying to all of us and probably yourself as well. You may be looking for an ego validation by spending time with this flirty chick and even that is pretty lame.
Here's a little test for you: If your intentions are true, as you claim they are, then why don't you call your buddy and give him a heads up that you are taking his ex out on a friendly date. I bet you can't and won't do this.
So while you are getting ready for your date, ask yourself why you are getting dressed up nice and making sure you look your best. Do you do that for your other "friends"? Do you do that if you are going to hang with your male friends?
Pretty sad when a dude will risk his real friendships for some pvssy. It's even worse when he does it just to be around some pvssy.
Lame dude!