Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Power over what, or whom?Plinco said:Can anyone relate to this? Is this normal? Since I was very young I had aspirations of understanding ecology, but as I have gotten older, I have had the desire for gaining power.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
If the world is a like a giant scheming court and we are trapped inside it, there is no use in trying to opt out of the game. That will render you powerless, and powerlessness will make you miserable. Instead of struggling against the inevitable, instead of arguing and whining and feeling guilty, it is far better to excel at power. In fact, the better you are at dealing with power, the better friend, lover, husband, wife, and person you become... If the game of power is inescapable, better to be an artist than a denier or a bungler.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Plinco said:Here is an example of what I was talking about:
A young man that would rate as a 5 on the 1-10 attractiveness scale should be able to get a hb5 with no problem, but his ego is telling him to get a hb9.
Maybe the ego is not such a bad thing.
you can either lower your standards for other women, or raise the standards in yourself and demand more from you sot hat you can get that womanTyTe`EyEz said:What if the man is unable to attain the HB9 that his loin so desires -- should he go through life unhappy and discontented because of the hand he was dealt?
Sometimes it is better to focus on what you have, rather than what you don't.
backbreaker said:you can either lower your standards for other women, or raise the standards in yourself and demand more from you sot hat you can get that woman
read pook's post on this, it's pure gold.
worst post ever......TyTe`EyEz said:What if the man is unable to attain the HB9 that his loin so desires -- should he go through life unhappy and discontented because of the hand he was dealt?
Sometimes it is better to focus on what you have, rather than what you don't.
Responses in bold.Credos said:worst post ever......
Only real fools believe something is impossible...
Or realists.
It's ALWAYSE good to focus on a goal. True, achieving the goal will probably never give you satisfaction, but striving to achieve your ambitions and looking back on the things that you have achieved will give you satisfaction.
As I said in my last post: we should always try to better ourselves.
We're all created equal, some of us just work harder to achieve their goals.
I don't know what fairytale you're living in, buddy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.