Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Everything in life is supply & demand, and once one outstrips the other, the market goes haywire. Young men having a difficult time trying to get young, childless women are in the same spot as older women trying to get older men. It's the balance of life.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
YouTube philosopher Aaron Clarey had a video where he questioned whether women genuinely like men that much:
I wouldn't say young men are in quite as dire a situation as older women. A young man is virile and healthy (usually) and may yet mature into a more valuable male. Proximity alone can often result in some sexual gratification for young males. An older woman has no more hope of bearing children, she's on the downhill slide.
They certainly are not worthless, and they definitely have value. Most girls would like to date guys their own age (or slightly older). These are the guys in their social circles, that they grow up with, that they have a lot in common with, that are close by logistically. There is a built in intimacy in that. But for the young guys who don't do well, they can take comfort in knowing that they can increase their value, and might do better a little later in life as they increase their maturity, independence, skills, confidence, love making skills, etc. All things that matter. And I'll include "game" in that, even though I really don't like the term.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I'm curious, why don't you like the term "game"?
It just sounds like you're being dishonest, like it's all a lie to manipulate each other. That's not the way I prefer to look at it. I'm not really interested in playing games, to me it's just life.