Texting Contradictions

[nicksaiz65]

Okay, I've got time today. So let's have this debate.

I'm so confused about texting now! Some people(AMS) say that you should only text for logistics and not try to get to know her over the phone. So you don't get used for your non-sexual attention.

Yet others say you should text her intermittently to keep the emotional momentum going. Yet keep in mind the reason you're texting her is to get her on a date ASAP.

So which is it guys? After a really bad experience I had I'm leaning towards only texting for logistics like AMS says

 

[Djjead12]

Texting sucks. I have the same issues

I try to keep it minimal, light hearted, fun, and to set up dates

Need to set the tone from the beginning that you don’t text a lot by taking long to reply at times. I’ll sometimes wait a few hours to reply maybe longer and if she texts immediately after I’ll draw it out again. Only if I’m doing absolutely nothing and I’m bored will I exchange in more frequent texts

I think it’s a bad idea to go days without texting. I’ve tried this and it doesn’t turn out well. Especially if it’s a girl you’re interested in. They’ll assume you aren’t interested and look elsewhere. If she’s ugly she might stick around but the attractive girls will next you unless you’re extremely high status

One size doesn’t fit all though. Kind of have to feel out the girl and go with what’s natural. Just avoid long drawn out convos and always initiating and you should be ok.

I hate texting overall though. Poor form of communication, things often are misinterpreted and it has made women think a phone call is creepy if you don’t know them well enough yet

 

[lamath]

I am not experience at all in this
but id say txt intermittenly after 1st date, something like once every 2-3 days.

 

[Ranger]

I always text after sex. Especially the first time.

 

[marmel75]

Okay, I've got time today. So let's have this debate.

I'm so confused about texting now! Some people(AMS) say that you should only text for logistics and not try to get to know her over the phone. So you don't get used for your non-sexual attention.

Yet others say you should text her intermittently to keep the emotional momentum going. Yet keep in mind the reason you're texting her is to get her on a date ASAP.

So which is it guys? After a really bad experience I had I'm leaning towards only texting for logistics like AMS says

There is no right or wrong answer. It's based on how you present yourself and come across. What will work for one person will NOT work for another person. Some of this boils down to trial and error and figuring out what suits you best.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

There is no right or wrong answer. It's based on how you present yourself and come across. What will work for one person will NOT work for another person. Some of this boils down to trial and error and figuring out what suits you best.

I'd say 80/20 rule is applicable. Meaning 20% of your actions should be based on what other guys tell you. 80% should be based on your own trial/error experience.

Try a bunch of stuff out, see what works, see what doesn't.

Only works if you're always meeting new ladies, tho.

 

[guru1000]

Not texting between dates is for newbies and intermediates because they will likely text something to kill the vibe, hence for these beginner types it's best to text only for logistics and setting the date.

But for the advanced, texting is an incredible tool to build rapport and stir up the heat (attraction), so by the time you meet her in person, she is already primed for sex, absent an ASD (anti-slut defense) that might otherwise be there.

Whether you choose to text to schedule the date to gain experience or text to build rapport/vibe to gain experience, either way there will be a learning curve and you will lose some until you are versed.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Whether you choose to text to schedule the date to gain experience or text for rapport to gain experience, either way there will be a learning curve and you will lose many until you are versed.

I've seen you mention this before and have been curious as to what you've learned over the years on this. I'm especially curious on building rapport early in the dating process as that seems to be the most difficult time period. After a couple dates, it's a bit easier since you've had the opportunity to build attraction in-person and learn enough about her to know what to discuss over txt. Also curious what strategy you use with girls who are very short and slow in replies (early on, like before first date). With the latter, my strategy is to use text to set dates only. I'm not going to keep a conversation going with a girl who replies very slowly and with short responses.

 

[guru1000]

I've seen you mention this before and have been curious as to what you've learned over the years on this. I'm especially curious on building rapport early in the dating process as that seems to be the most difficult time period. After a couple dates, it's a bit easier since you've had the opportunity to build attraction in-person and learn enough about her to know what to discuss over txt. Also curious what strategy you use with girls who are very short and slow in replies (early on, like before first date). With the latter, my strategy is to use text to set dates only. I'm not going to keep a conversation going with a girl who replies very slowly and with short responses.

Like stated, texting to build momentum is more advanced, simply because understanding the subject, specifically her IL via timeliness of responses, matching text investment, distinguishing between appropriate/non-appropriate responses when little foundation to know her has been built, looking at her biases and needs, and not coming across as needy as opposed to amused--takes time to learn.

An advanced guy can lay out all the groundwork via texts and meet her on a first date and have her in the sack within 1.5 hrs. A newbie or intermediate will likely fvck up the text exchange and there will be no first date.

Rules of Thumb:

• Be witty and make the text exchange fun, so that she wants to reach out to you;
• Don't invest more than she;
• Don't invest more words than necessary, be succinct;
• Learn when to eject;
• Learn when to build the sexual vibe if she's open or not to build at all;
• Learn when to spice it up and when to leave space/give distance;
• Learn when to respond very quickly and when to very slowly;
• Push/Pull for remaining points left out.

To your question: Not all women are texters and are willing to engage in this manner. Know they audience is simply another point to be observant of. If she is slow to text with short responses, these are not good indications to continue texting nor an indication of high IL for her to actually appear to the date.

 

[flowtheory]

Different texting for different phases in the relationship. And also depending on what you desire with that specific woman. With current girlfriend I use texting as a way to be playful, setting up dates, and using intermittent sweetness and some minimal sexual comments here and there. Never any complicated or heavy discussions.

If it’s just a plate.. lots of witty texts, heavy sexual, and then planning of logistics to meet up.

Like stated, texting to build momentum is more advanced, simply because understanding the subject, specifically her IL via timeliness of responses, matching text investment, distinguishing between appropriate/non-appropriate responses when little foundation to know her has been built, looking at her biases and needs, and not coming across as needy as opposed to amused--takes time to learn.

An advanced guy can lay out all the groundwork via texts and meet her on a first date and have her in the sack within 1.5 hrs. A newbie or intermediate will likely fvck up the text exchange and there will be no first date.

Rules of Thumb:

• Be witty and make the text exchange fun, so that she wants to reach out to you;
• Don't invest more than she;
• Don't invest more words than necessary, be succinct;
• Learn when to eject;
• Learn when to build the sexual vibe if she's open or not to build at all;
• Learn when to spice it up and when to leave space/give distance;
• Learn when to respond very quickly and when to very slowly;
• Push/Pull for remaining points left out.

To your question: Not all women are texters and are willing to engage in this manner. Know they audience is simply another point to be observant of. If she is slow to text with short responses, these are not good indications to continue texting nor an indication of high IL for her to actually appear to the date.

Still waiting on your e-book...

 

[Ranger]

I use texting to wind her up. Plenty of texting. You can get them dripping before they arrive. Very willing to get to you.
It’s a tool.

All these rules are for beginners.

 

[Ranger]

Like stated, texting to build momentum is more advanced, simply because understanding the subject, specifically her IL via timeliness of responses, matching text investment, distinguishing between appropriate/non-appropriate responses when little foundation to know her has been built, looking at her biases and needs, and not coming across as needy as opposed to amused--takes time to learn.

An advanced guy can lay out all the groundwork via texts and meet her on a first date and have her in the sack within 1.5 hrs. A newbie or intermediate will likely fvck up the text exchange and there will be no first date.

Rules of Thumb:

• Be witty and make the text exchange fun, so that she wants to reach out to you;
• Don't invest more than she;
• Don't invest more words than necessary, be succinct;
• Learn when to eject;
• Learn when to build the sexual vibe if she's open or not to build at all;
• Learn when to spice it up and when to leave space/give distance;
• Learn when to respond very quickly and when to very slowly;
• Push/Pull for remaining points left out.

To your question: Not all women are texters and are willing to engage in this manner. Know they audience is simply another point to be observant of. If she is slow to text with short responses, these are not good indications to continue texting nor an indication of high IL for her to actually appear to the date.

Good post. That’s exactly what it is. Her mind and her imagination are what you are after. Building blocks that you stack.
I’ve read very little about texting. Most of it is pretty silly that I’ve read on here.

I learned on my own. Don’t be afraid to be sexual when it’s called for. Subtle at first and then build on it. Know when to stop texting and let her stew on things. It’s when you stop that your seeds are already planted. You can’t force grass to grow.

 

[RangerMIke]

I had to be drug kicking and screaming into texting. I really hate it. It all depends on the woman... some prefer this to a phone call... when I would call it would go straight to VM... then she would text back something like "Hey, couldn't PU, what's up?" After a few times of me texting back "Call me when you get a chance." And then her NEVER calling back... I would start to just ask her out over text. And it works out okay, it really hasn't hurt me doing this. But I wouldn't try having conversations over text.. just requests for dates, and coordination during meet ups... that's it.

One thing is certain... you will NEVER see a text from me that would end up being embarrassing. I've had chicks on dates show me texts that other dudes send to them, and my God the stupid sh!t dudes send are really cringe worthy. Clearly some of that stuff was pulled off of some PUA website someplace. One I remember was "Hey baby! You must be tired because you've been running though my mind all day." The idea that anything you send a women will be passed around and shared by her friends should be enough for any man to think twice before hitting 'send'.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The idea that anything you send a women will be passed around and shared by her friends should be enough for any man to think twice before hitting 'send'.

That's exactly why I am always sure to send lots of nudes lol

 

[GrowingPains]

80/20 rule

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle

 

[Dr.Suave]

Depends on the girl and depends on you

 

[ubercat]

@oldmanofthesea haha you must be a well hung ploughboy. Dammit I just got the average allotment although I do know how to make it do tricks. Girlfriends in China now complaining her ***** needs attention. So once more for England dear friends. Must admit at my age sometimes I d prefer a cup of tea and the sports pages. Anyway I beat another guy in his 20s at the tennis last night at 101 degrees F so I guess railing one tiny Asian girl is within my powers.

 

[flowtheory]

@oldmanofthesea haha you must be a well hung ploughboy. Dammit I just got the average allotment although I do know how to make it do tricks. Girlfriends in China now complaining her ***** needs attention. So once more for England dear friends. Must admit at my age sometimes I d prefer a cup of tea and the sports pages. Anyway I beat another guy in his 20s at the tennis last night at 101 degrees F so I guess railing one tiny Asian girl is within my powers.

Tennis is difficult. Played some guy last summer and he kept hitting the ball with top spin, side spin, back spin, all the spins. Right so close to me. He was old and I think he just felt so much glory kicking my ass

 

[ubercat]

Yes crafty old players are tough. The jungle is littered with the bones of young Tigers. But in the long-term you win you're on the upswing he's on the down swing

 

[Webb91]

I don’t get this text girls only for logistics thing. Every girl I have ever made my girlfriend or slept with I have text them every day most of the day back and forth. You either know what to say or you don’t. You either know what to show them or you don’t (eg snapchat) you learn what works by getting better and practicing on each girl and then with the next girl and you just believe she’s going to be attracted. If you don’t text them regularly and make your mark and stand out they will forget about you with tons of other options available who they can text with and they will write you off as boring or don’t know how to speak to girls and keep a dirty interesting fun text convo going. They want a fun person who can text a girl and make her feel emotions and a connection through text before they go out with them. In my experience the better you are at texting and making them want you over the phone and them already knowing what you look like the work is basically done in person you just have to be the same person who looks exactly like his photos and same personality you are on text and not **** up somehow.