"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Tell me what I'm doing wrong?

R2Change

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5 years dating great, past 2 married - no so great....

Issues we fight over..

1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
My reaction: I blow up

2. I tell her personal family stuff as she tells me personal family stuff?
I listen, empathize and move on...She takes stuff personally and thinks that's a bad cousin or bad uncle, I'm never going to talk to them...I'm like What? This is just fun married couple stuff to talk about? After she says stuff like that...
My reaction : I blow up

3. She initiates certain ideas such as let's go buy plane tickets and see your family? I'm telling her, are sure we have enough money, yeah more than enough...so we set it up, I tell my parents and a month before the trip, she's angry and crying saying we don't have enough money...I bring up the fact that i brought the money issue before...but she saying we had enough but i didn't expect it to cost this much...
My reaction : I blow up

Tell me what I'm doing wrong? So, I can correct it...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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FastMen

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I think you should not try to solve the problems, just listen to her...ive been there .
About the money issue is a tought spot, no simple bullsht , So you might as well save some... or tell the truth
 

Amazing

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Not really sure because even I can't understand what you are talking about.
 

R2Change

Don Juan
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Where do you need clarafication?

I probably wasn't real clear...I wrote it quickly...What part don't you understand?
 

Amazing

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"""1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
"""

you forgot to write you say this to other people.. i read it as you telling her a story and she correct you, which made no sense.

control your woman. tell her what you need her to do (STFU when you tell a story) if she can't do this then why did you even pick her
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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R2Change

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@ Fastman

I think you're right...I do need to work not solving the problem & just listening...I use to be good at that when we we're dating, now w/ each argument I get less and less patient....but absolutely...I need to get back to not solving problems and understanding her point of view even if it is at odds w/ me...
 

Amazing

Master Don Juan
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Yeah that one is big, they just want to vent, they rarely want you to tell them waht to do - my buddy will tell his gf "DONT TALK TO THAT CHICK SHE SUCKS" and then next time she complains again about her he goes ??????????? i told you what to do and you ignored it and then she gets mad at HIM

just listen and "Uh huh, go on, I told you that ***** crazy" is all you need.

Which is stupid because if they listened may be they would make things better
 

Trader

Master Don Juan
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R2Change said:
5 years dating great, past 2 married - no so great....

Issues we fight over..

1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
My reaction: I blow up

2. I tell her personal family stuff as she tells me personal family stuff?
I listen, empathize and move on...She takes stuff personally and thinks that's a bad cousin or bad uncle, I'm never going to talk to them...I'm like What? This is just fun married couple stuff to talk about? After she says stuff like that...
My reaction : I blow up

3. She initiates certain ideas such as let's go buy plane tickets and see your family? I'm telling her, are sure we have enough money, yeah more than enough...so we set it up, I tell my parents and a month before the trip, she's angry and crying saying we don't have enough money...I bring up the fact that i brought the money issue before...but she saying we had enough but i didn't expect it to cost this much...
My reaction : I blow up

Tell me what I'm doing wrong? So, I can correct it...
You have a short fuse.
 

hexx

Don Juan
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Damn dude, are you sure you're not some kind of bomb? Lighten up a bit!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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