"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Tell me what I'm doing wrong?

R2Change

Don Juan
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5 years dating great, past 2 married - no so great....

Issues we fight over..

1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
My reaction: I blow up

2. I tell her personal family stuff as she tells me personal family stuff?
I listen, empathize and move on...She takes stuff personally and thinks that's a bad cousin or bad uncle, I'm never going to talk to them...I'm like What? This is just fun married couple stuff to talk about? After she says stuff like that...
My reaction : I blow up

3. She initiates certain ideas such as let's go buy plane tickets and see your family? I'm telling her, are sure we have enough money, yeah more than enough...so we set it up, I tell my parents and a month before the trip, she's angry and crying saying we don't have enough money...I bring up the fact that i brought the money issue before...but she saying we had enough but i didn't expect it to cost this much...
My reaction : I blow up

Tell me what I'm doing wrong? So, I can correct it...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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FastMen

Don Juan
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I think you should not try to solve the problems, just listen to her...ive been there .
About the money issue is a tought spot, no simple bullsht , So you might as well save some... or tell the truth
 

Amazing

Master Don Juan
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Not really sure because even I can't understand what you are talking about.
 

R2Change

Don Juan
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Where do you need clarafication?

I probably wasn't real clear...I wrote it quickly...What part don't you understand?
 

Amazing

Master Don Juan
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"""1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
"""

you forgot to write you say this to other people.. i read it as you telling her a story and she correct you, which made no sense.

control your woman. tell her what you need her to do (STFU when you tell a story) if she can't do this then why did you even pick her
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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R2Change

Don Juan
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@ Fastman

I think you're right...I do need to work not solving the problem & just listening...I use to be good at that when we we're dating, now w/ each argument I get less and less patient....but absolutely...I need to get back to not solving problems and understanding her point of view even if it is at odds w/ me...
 

Amazing

Master Don Juan
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Yeah that one is big, they just want to vent, they rarely want you to tell them waht to do - my buddy will tell his gf "DONT TALK TO THAT CHICK SHE SUCKS" and then next time she complains again about her he goes ??????????? i told you what to do and you ignored it and then she gets mad at HIM

just listen and "Uh huh, go on, I told you that ***** crazy" is all you need.

Which is stupid because if they listened may be they would make things better
 

Trader

Master Don Juan
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R2Change said:
5 years dating great, past 2 married - no so great....

Issues we fight over..

1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
My reaction: I blow up

2. I tell her personal family stuff as she tells me personal family stuff?
I listen, empathize and move on...She takes stuff personally and thinks that's a bad cousin or bad uncle, I'm never going to talk to them...I'm like What? This is just fun married couple stuff to talk about? After she says stuff like that...
My reaction : I blow up

3. She initiates certain ideas such as let's go buy plane tickets and see your family? I'm telling her, are sure we have enough money, yeah more than enough...so we set it up, I tell my parents and a month before the trip, she's angry and crying saying we don't have enough money...I bring up the fact that i brought the money issue before...but she saying we had enough but i didn't expect it to cost this much...
My reaction : I blow up

Tell me what I'm doing wrong? So, I can correct it...
You have a short fuse.
 

hexx

Don Juan
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Damn dude, are you sure you're not some kind of bomb? Lighten up a bit!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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