"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Tell me what I'm doing wrong?

R2Change

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5 years dating great, past 2 married - no so great....

Issues we fight over..

1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
My reaction: I blow up

2. I tell her personal family stuff as she tells me personal family stuff?
I listen, empathize and move on...She takes stuff personally and thinks that's a bad cousin or bad uncle, I'm never going to talk to them...I'm like What? This is just fun married couple stuff to talk about? After she says stuff like that...
My reaction : I blow up

3. She initiates certain ideas such as let's go buy plane tickets and see your family? I'm telling her, are sure we have enough money, yeah more than enough...so we set it up, I tell my parents and a month before the trip, she's angry and crying saying we don't have enough money...I bring up the fact that i brought the money issue before...but she saying we had enough but i didn't expect it to cost this much...
My reaction : I blow up

Tell me what I'm doing wrong? So, I can correct it...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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FastMen

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I think you should not try to solve the problems, just listen to her...ive been there .
About the money issue is a tought spot, no simple bullsht , So you might as well save some... or tell the truth
 

Amazing

Master Don Juan
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Not really sure because even I can't understand what you are talking about.
 

R2Change

Don Juan
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Where do you need clarafication?

I probably wasn't real clear...I wrote it quickly...What part don't you understand?
 

Amazing

Master Don Juan
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"""1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
"""

you forgot to write you say this to other people.. i read it as you telling her a story and she correct you, which made no sense.

control your woman. tell her what you need her to do (STFU when you tell a story) if she can't do this then why did you even pick her
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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R2Change

Don Juan
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@ Fastman

I think you're right...I do need to work not solving the problem & just listening...I use to be good at that when we we're dating, now w/ each argument I get less and less patient....but absolutely...I need to get back to not solving problems and understanding her point of view even if it is at odds w/ me...
 

Amazing

Master Don Juan
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Yeah that one is big, they just want to vent, they rarely want you to tell them waht to do - my buddy will tell his gf "DONT TALK TO THAT CHICK SHE SUCKS" and then next time she complains again about her he goes ??????????? i told you what to do and you ignored it and then she gets mad at HIM

just listen and "Uh huh, go on, I told you that ***** crazy" is all you need.

Which is stupid because if they listened may be they would make things better
 

Trader

Master Don Juan
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R2Change said:
5 years dating great, past 2 married - no so great....

Issues we fight over..

1. I'm trying to tell her a story or a fact & she tells me I'm wrong or that's not the way it goes?
My reaction: I blow up

2. I tell her personal family stuff as she tells me personal family stuff?
I listen, empathize and move on...She takes stuff personally and thinks that's a bad cousin or bad uncle, I'm never going to talk to them...I'm like What? This is just fun married couple stuff to talk about? After she says stuff like that...
My reaction : I blow up

3. She initiates certain ideas such as let's go buy plane tickets and see your family? I'm telling her, are sure we have enough money, yeah more than enough...so we set it up, I tell my parents and a month before the trip, she's angry and crying saying we don't have enough money...I bring up the fact that i brought the money issue before...but she saying we had enough but i didn't expect it to cost this much...
My reaction : I blow up

Tell me what I'm doing wrong? So, I can correct it...
You have a short fuse.
 

hexx

Don Juan
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Damn dude, are you sure you're not some kind of bomb? Lighten up a bit!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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