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Sweet girl turned ghetto on me

LucianoM

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So last weekend i invited a 19yr old to a "food and drink" festival and she ended up getting real drunk and pretty much started acting ghetto saying curse words and even insulted me. I was drunk too butbi think she called me a dumbass on several occasions. And she would curse about every other thing. I was obviously turned off by her behavior and we ended up going back to our camp and she passed out. The next morning i told her how she was acting and she was visibly embarrassed and didnt even want me to tell her what she said cuz it embarrassed her. This is the second weekend ive chilled with her so im not sure if this is normal behavior or not but shes typically been very sweet and feminine, i.e always holds my hand, rubs my arms and chest, cuddles with me etc. Im not sure what triggered that behavior, maybe it was the acid we took, but it was totally unexpected and got me thinking if i should keep pursuing her.

I can let the beligerent behavior slide cuz shes a drunk 19yr old, its the insults she directed at me that are making me rethink my next move.
 

devilkingx2

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She may just be a wild and crazy drunk, which is fine when you're going out partying but maybe make sure she doesn't have too much wine at dinners with your parents.

But if you get solid evidence that she secretly doesn't respect you and it takes alcohol to bring out the fact that she think you're a loser, dump her ASAP.
 

DonQuixote

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Yes, you have a high quality girl right there. Going to festivals, getting hammered and getting high on acid. She sure is the finest lady you can find and her behavior was a one-time-slip-up. Nothing to worry about. She actually is the sweet feminine girl you know.

Never in my life was a girl high quality when she got hammered on a regular basis. They only pretend they have manners and class but beneath their crackling surface they are rotten to the core.
 

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BackInTheGame78

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Yes, you have a high quality girl right there. Going to festivals, getting hammered and getting high on acid. She sure is the finest lady you can find and her behavior was a one-time-slip-up. Nothing to worry about. She actually is the sweet feminine girl you know.

Never in my life was a girl high quality when she got hammered on a regular basis. They only pretend they have manners and class but beneath their crackling surface they are rotten to the core.
OP seems of dubious quality himself
 

Plinco

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So last weekend i invited a 19yr old to a "food and drink" festival and she ended up getting real drunk and pretty much started acting ghetto saying curse words and even insulted me. I was drunk too butbi think she called me a dumbass on several occasions. And she would curse about every other thing. I was obviously turned off by her behavior and we ended up going back to our camp and she passed out. The next morning i told her how she was acting and she was visibly embarrassed and didnt even want me to tell her what she said cuz it embarrassed her. This is the second weekend ive chilled with her so im not sure if this is normal behavior or not but shes typically been very sweet and feminine, i.e always holds my hand, rubs my arms and chest, cuddles with me etc. Im not sure what triggered that behavior, maybe it was the acid we took, but it was totally unexpected and got me thinking if i should keep pursuing her.

I can let the beligerent behavior slide cuz shes a drunk 19yr old, its the insults she directed at me that are making me rethink my next move.
People are actually more honest when drunk. She probably does not respect you. Next her.
 

oldmanofthesea

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People are actually more honest when drunk. She probably does not respect you. Next her.
This is a great point - I both agree and disagree with it.

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions so what comes out is "honest" and it is "you" to a degree - but your inhibitions are also part of who you are. Your inhibitions are learned filters that your life experience has created. For example, maybe your natural state in childhood was to get really angry when you can't get your way and as a result, your emotions control your actions. Hopefully your life experiences combined with your IQ and your role models will help you learn to create filters you can consciously apply to inhibit your emotional reactions to not getting your way. But when alcohol enters the picture, your filters are removed and you begin acting in a very raw, emotional state without the benefit of your life's lessons and wisdom.

I have said and done things while intoxicated that I would not do if I was sober. Yes, I fully admit that the things I did came from ME, I understand why I did them, I understand the thought process that formed my actions and this was 100% ME and not the alcohol (the thought processes I had would be the same sober or drunk), so to your point, I was being very honest while drunk. However, emotions happen - we cannot control our emotions, but we CAN control our reactions/actions to our emotions (through our learned-filters and conscious decision making) and this is where alcohol comes in and fvcks it up. I can experience the anger over certain things a girl does, but due to my learned-filters, I know there are certain things I should just let go, other things I should respond to with some silence and distance, and other things I should clearly communicate boundaries over. But when intoxicated, these filters are removed and my emotions drive me and I say and do things I shouldn't, and wouldn't if sober. It works the same with everyone - this is what alcohol does. This is one of the reasons I chose to quit drinking.

OP I mention all this in direct response to your experience. The girl in your story may have solid filters in place that would prevent her from acting that way while sober. There are two points to consider about her:
1. How strong are those filters? Are they strong enough that they will remain intact 99% of the time while sober? Or is she only able to apply the filters with a lot of effort, which would mean she can only apply them for a few weeks or months before her emotions finally get the better of her and she starts acting out? I have experienced both situations with women. People can hide who they are for a few months but generally not longer so just monitor this over time and don't over-invest in the first three months.
2. If she has demonstrated this behavior while drunk, you can be POSITIVE it will happen again if she drinks again. Maybe not every time, but her inability to moderate her drinking may be just due to being young and inexperienced with alcohol, or it may be due to her being an alcoholic. Bottom line, if a girl exhibits this behavior while drunk, the only way I would keep seeing this girl is if she quit drinking, and there's a very low chance a 19yo (or even a 40yo) is going to do that for you so the choice is pretty simple: Stay with her with the understanding she's going to act this way again soon, or next her now and waste no more time on her.
 

Modern Man Advice

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I swear some of us never learn. Invited a 19yr old to a ".... and drink" festival. "maybe it was the acid we took". Nice!

You must be trolling. Let's just say you got lucky that the worst part was her acting ghetto.

I guess if we don't hear from you, we know where you are.

Modern Man Advice
 

devilkingx2

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Bruh. She’s under drinking age. What did you expect? This girl to be classy?
Everybody underage drinks (in America), that's pretty normal.
 

Deranged

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Everybody underage drinks (in America), that's pretty normal.
Sidetrack here, but I always find this so funny. Old enough to show your cvnt to the world and buy smokes but not old enough to have a beer. All degenerate behavior, but was booze calculated to be the lesser of the evils by Americans?
 

LucianoM

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This is a great point - I both agree and disagree with it.

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions so what comes out is "honest" and it is "you" to a degree - but your inhibitions are also part of who you are. Your inhibitions are learned filters that your life experience has created. For example, maybe your natural state in childhood was to get really angry when you can't get your way and as a result, your emotions control your actions. Hopefully your life experiences combined with your IQ and your role models will help you learn to create filters you can consciously apply to inhibit your emotional reactions to not getting your way. But when alcohol enters the picture, your filters are removed and you begin acting in a very raw, emotional state without the benefit of your life's lessons and wisdom.

I have said and done things while intoxicated that I would not do if I was sober. Yes, I fully admit that the things I did came from ME, I understand why I did them, I understand the thought process that formed my actions and this was 100% ME and not the alcohol (the thought processes I had would be the same sober or drunk), so to your point, I was being very honest while drunk. However, emotions happen - we cannot control our emotions, but we CAN control our reactions/actions to our emotions (through our learned-filters and conscious decision making) and this is where alcohol comes in and fvcks it up. I can experience the anger over certain things a girl does, but due to my learned-filters, I know there are certain things I should just let go, other things I should respond to with some silence and distance, and other things I should clearly communicate boundaries over. But when intoxicated, these filters are removed and my emotions drive me and I say and do things I shouldn't, and wouldn't if sober. It works the same with everyone - this is what alcohol does. This is one of the reasons I chose to quit drinking.

OP I mention all this in direct response to your experience. The girl in your story may have solid filters in place that would prevent her from acting that way while sober. There are two points to consider about her:
1. How strong are those filters? Are they strong enough that they will remain intact 99% of the time while sober? Or is she only able to apply the filters with a lot of effort, which would mean she can only apply them for a few weeks or months before her emotions finally get the better of her and she starts acting out? I have experienced both situations with women. People can hide who they are for a few months but generally not longer so just monitor this over time and don't over-invest in the first three months.
2. If she has demonstrated this behavior while drunk, you can be POSITIVE it will happen again if she drinks again. Maybe not every time, but her inability to moderate her drinking may be just due to being young and inexperienced with alcohol, or it may be due to her being an alcoholic. Bottom line, if a girl exhibits this behavior while drunk, the only way I would keep seeing this girl is if she quit drinking, and there's a very low chance a 19yo (or even a 40yo) is going to do that for you so the choice is pretty simple: Stay with her with the understanding she's going to act this way again soon, or next her now and waste no more time on her.
Shes got drunk with me before and acted normal but we were in my house, maybe it was the atmosphere that made her act out a bit or again, maybe the acid. She was very contrite the next day went back to being her normal sweet self so ima give her the benefit of the doubt, but if she acts ghetto again, especially if she insults me again im dropping her onsight i dont care where we are.
 

devilkingx2

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Sidetrack here, but I always find this so funny. Old enough to show your cvnt to the world and buy smokes but not old enough to have a beer. All degenerate behavior, but was booze calculated to be the lesser of the evils by Americans?
Old enough to die for your country and shape its political future, but not old enough to have fun.
 

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BillyPilgrim

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OP is it safe to assume this girl comes from a Latina or Southern European background?
 

BillyPilgrim

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Maybe the sweet girl is what she aspires to be and is what she is working on, and the ghetto behavior is just her ingrained background coming out, mixed with a little insecurity.

I'd give her another shot.
 
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