"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Stupidest questions someone has ever asked you

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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penkitten

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someone calls me at work and asks "whatcha doin?"
then i have to answer..."working"
 

ChrizZ

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just look in the high school or discussion section.
 

Giovanni Casanova

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Well there was this one time on an Internet discussion forum some guy asked me about the stupidest question someone has ever asked me.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bible_Belt

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A plane crashes on the U.S. and Canadian border, exactly on the border itself. There are precisely even numbers each of Canadian citizens and U.S. citizens that were on the plane. It was a Canadian airline, but had taken off from a U.S. airport and was under FAA control at the time of the crash. The debate then arises, in which country do we bury the survivors?
 

ChrizZ

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Bible_Belt said:
A plane crashes on the U.S. and Canadian border, exactly on the border itself. There are precisely even numbers each of Canadian citizens and U.S. citizens that were on the plane. It was a Canadian airline, but had taken off from a U.S. airport and was under FAA control at the time of the crash. The debate then arises, in which country do we bury the survivors?
You don't bury survivors...
 

Rudra

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I don´t think there are any stupid questions...
Only stupid answers.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Aboleo

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Rudra said:
I don´t think there are any stupid questions...
Only stupid answers.

What is the number five divided by the letter 'bong'?:rock:

There's a stupid question for you...


My girlfriend was trying to lite the pilot on the furnace one time while I was talking her through it over the phone. It turns out she lit the hot-water heater, instead and it took her about an hour to do it!:D
 

Effington

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My dad always told me there are no stupid questions, only stupid people.
 

SinJester

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A wise man told me there are no stupid questins, just nazis and robots.
 
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