"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Struggling with being more social

Dorchester

Don Juan
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Hey guys, as a senior in my second semester, I'm doing an exchange program to attend another US high school with about 10 students from my school. The issue is that out of those 10 students, none of those are really social people.

I just want to be more social, but I'm really lost because I've never been very good at socializing before. Unfortunately, most all of the classes that I'm in have very studious types in them. I want to get out of this bubble and meet new people.

I know what you're thinking, "just talk to more people!", right? It's just that I'm afraid that I'm giving off the "he seems like a nice person" vibe instead of the "I'd like to be friends with him" vibe. I'm not trying to get laid immediately, I just want to be better socially.

Can I get some advice?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
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Double answer: like danzy said, just relax and start talking to people.

Second part, be more content with the people you already talk to. They are not nothing, show them as much love as possible. When you start to distinguish between who is cool and who isn't, you create weird lines of who you "should" be talking to. Those lines are obvious to people around you and that sort of thing sucks. Just enjoy people, all people.
 

Blistex

Don Juan
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Dorchester said:
I'm afraid that I'm giving off the "he seems like a nice person" vibe instead of the "I'd like to be friends with him" vibe.
You have an insecurity and that's what is making it hard for you to go out of your bubble and socialize. Forget about these "vibes" because they are simply made up beliefs in your head that are holding you back from making great progress. You're here to improve upon your social skills and become more confident while talking to others. Stop worrying about what other people think of you because that will do you no good.

I know you don't want to be the unsociable 50 year old who looks back at this and says to himself, "I had all these opportunities to become sociable and I didn't capitalize on any of them."

You only live once. Go out and socialize.
 

AH909

Don Juan
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Dude who cares what these people think of you? Your in an exchange program so it's not like your gonna know them forever. Just start talking to people if they think you weird who cares there's plenty of other people in the world.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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