"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Struggling with being more social

Dorchester

Don Juan
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Hey guys, as a senior in my second semester, I'm doing an exchange program to attend another US high school with about 10 students from my school. The issue is that out of those 10 students, none of those are really social people.

I just want to be more social, but I'm really lost because I've never been very good at socializing before. Unfortunately, most all of the classes that I'm in have very studious types in them. I want to get out of this bubble and meet new people.

I know what you're thinking, "just talk to more people!", right? It's just that I'm afraid that I'm giving off the "he seems like a nice person" vibe instead of the "I'd like to be friends with him" vibe. I'm not trying to get laid immediately, I just want to be better socially.

Can I get some advice?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
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Double answer: like danzy said, just relax and start talking to people.

Second part, be more content with the people you already talk to. They are not nothing, show them as much love as possible. When you start to distinguish between who is cool and who isn't, you create weird lines of who you "should" be talking to. Those lines are obvious to people around you and that sort of thing sucks. Just enjoy people, all people.
 

Blistex

Don Juan
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Dorchester said:
I'm afraid that I'm giving off the "he seems like a nice person" vibe instead of the "I'd like to be friends with him" vibe.
You have an insecurity and that's what is making it hard for you to go out of your bubble and socialize. Forget about these "vibes" because they are simply made up beliefs in your head that are holding you back from making great progress. You're here to improve upon your social skills and become more confident while talking to others. Stop worrying about what other people think of you because that will do you no good.

I know you don't want to be the unsociable 50 year old who looks back at this and says to himself, "I had all these opportunities to become sociable and I didn't capitalize on any of them."

You only live once. Go out and socialize.
 

AH909

Don Juan
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No place like Nebraska
Dude who cares what these people think of you? Your in an exchange program so it's not like your gonna know them forever. Just start talking to people if they think you weird who cares there's plenty of other people in the world.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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