"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Struggling with being more social

Dorchester

Don Juan
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Hey guys, as a senior in my second semester, I'm doing an exchange program to attend another US high school with about 10 students from my school. The issue is that out of those 10 students, none of those are really social people.

I just want to be more social, but I'm really lost because I've never been very good at socializing before. Unfortunately, most all of the classes that I'm in have very studious types in them. I want to get out of this bubble and meet new people.

I know what you're thinking, "just talk to more people!", right? It's just that I'm afraid that I'm giving off the "he seems like a nice person" vibe instead of the "I'd like to be friends with him" vibe. I'm not trying to get laid immediately, I just want to be better socially.

Can I get some advice?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
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Double answer: like danzy said, just relax and start talking to people.

Second part, be more content with the people you already talk to. They are not nothing, show them as much love as possible. When you start to distinguish between who is cool and who isn't, you create weird lines of who you "should" be talking to. Those lines are obvious to people around you and that sort of thing sucks. Just enjoy people, all people.
 

Blistex

Don Juan
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Dorchester said:
I'm afraid that I'm giving off the "he seems like a nice person" vibe instead of the "I'd like to be friends with him" vibe.
You have an insecurity and that's what is making it hard for you to go out of your bubble and socialize. Forget about these "vibes" because they are simply made up beliefs in your head that are holding you back from making great progress. You're here to improve upon your social skills and become more confident while talking to others. Stop worrying about what other people think of you because that will do you no good.

I know you don't want to be the unsociable 50 year old who looks back at this and says to himself, "I had all these opportunities to become sociable and I didn't capitalize on any of them."

You only live once. Go out and socialize.
 

AH909

Don Juan
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Dude who cares what these people think of you? Your in an exchange program so it's not like your gonna know them forever. Just start talking to people if they think you weird who cares there's plenty of other people in the world.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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