"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Struggling with being more social

Dorchester

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2012
Messages
27
Reaction score
0
Location
Michigan, USA
Hey guys, as a senior in my second semester, I'm doing an exchange program to attend another US high school with about 10 students from my school. The issue is that out of those 10 students, none of those are really social people.

I just want to be more social, but I'm really lost because I've never been very good at socializing before. Unfortunately, most all of the classes that I'm in have very studious types in them. I want to get out of this bubble and meet new people.

I know what you're thinking, "just talk to more people!", right? It's just that I'm afraid that I'm giving off the "he seems like a nice person" vibe instead of the "I'd like to be friends with him" vibe. I'm not trying to get laid immediately, I just want to be better socially.

Can I get some advice?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2011
Messages
1,206
Reaction score
12
Location
Atlanta
Double answer: like danzy said, just relax and start talking to people.

Second part, be more content with the people you already talk to. They are not nothing, show them as much love as possible. When you start to distinguish between who is cool and who isn't, you create weird lines of who you "should" be talking to. Those lines are obvious to people around you and that sort of thing sucks. Just enjoy people, all people.
 

Blistex

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2012
Messages
129
Reaction score
4
Location
Canada
Dorchester said:
I'm afraid that I'm giving off the "he seems like a nice person" vibe instead of the "I'd like to be friends with him" vibe.
You have an insecurity and that's what is making it hard for you to go out of your bubble and socialize. Forget about these "vibes" because they are simply made up beliefs in your head that are holding you back from making great progress. You're here to improve upon your social skills and become more confident while talking to others. Stop worrying about what other people think of you because that will do you no good.

I know you don't want to be the unsociable 50 year old who looks back at this and says to himself, "I had all these opportunities to become sociable and I didn't capitalize on any of them."

You only live once. Go out and socialize.
 

AH909

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2009
Messages
125
Reaction score
0
Location
No place like Nebraska
Dude who cares what these people think of you? Your in an exchange program so it's not like your gonna know them forever. Just start talking to people if they think you weird who cares there's plenty of other people in the world.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Top