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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Stop pursuing women with low and borderline medium interest!

SargeMaximus

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You can avoid these types of women if you're not into that. Basic screening. Ask her about her family, relationship with her parents. If she's a child of divorce then you almost guarantee daddy issues. Daddy issues are great when it comes to sex and drama, but horrible if you're looking for something stable to invest in.
Not looking for anything to invest in but not looking for drama either, only recurring sex
 

Robert28

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So like, when you’re talking to a woman who is talking about her ex who beat her and she’s saying it like it’s bad, are you supposed to tell her you’d beat her too? Or are you supposed to agree that he was no good and you would never do that? I’m starting to think it’s the former
Wanna pull the ultimate shock and awe? Just say “damn you must have really made him mad a lot”.
 

SargeMaximus

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Wanna pull the ultimate shock and awe? Just say “damn you must have really made him mad a lot”.
I will try that thanks.

Recurring sex is an investment. You have to do the right things to keep her around and keep her coming back - which, counterintuitively, is not pursuing her (at least that's true for where I live).

It's the man's job to set up the first date. That's it. You meet her, display, show your value.....then sit back. If she's not chasing then, personally, I completely disassociate myself.
So… this is in line with how everyone is telling me I gotta change what I’m doing. Is t me changing what I’m doing by it’s very act me chasing women?
 

BillyPilgrim

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They’re not looking to settle down though, they just want to date and honestly I’m not sure what their strategy is.
They might start looking to settle down if food shortages start in earnest. Just be careful the fatties don't try and bite off your d1ck
 

jaymbrs

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What really gets to me is these days women are so quick to next you. They don't even know if you're a millionaire or are in the top 10% of men. It's almost like it's not worth waiting to find out what you have to offer. I managed to regain the interest of one recently because she noticed the vehicle I drove but by that point I Nexted her.
 

Robert28

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What really gets to me is these days women are so quick to next you. They don't even know if you're a millionaire or are in the top 10% of men. It's almost like it's not worth waiting to find out what you have to offer.
I’m trying to figure out when did all women think they deserve such men and why do they claim men are entitled and they don’t owe them anything? Ok so why do women feel like they’re owed Chad Mcbucks?
 

Zimbabwe

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What really gets to me is these days women are so quick to next you. They don't even know if you're a millionaire or are in the top 10% of men. It's almost like it's not worth waiting to find out what you have to offer. I managed to regain the interest of one recently because she noticed the vehicle I drove but by that point I Nexted her.
Blame social media and simps, women have such short attention spans now and a hundred new options a day. It's like going onto netflix with 7000 movies but you spend most of your time just browsing.

You can avoid these types of women if you're not into that. Basic screening. Ask her about her family, relationship with her parents. If she's a child of divorce then you almost guarantee daddy issues. Daddy issues are great when it comes to sex and drama, but horrible if you're looking for something stable to invest in.
Another good method is to look at what type of friends she hangs out with.
 

zekko

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Most guys never get to experience a high interest woman though, that’s why they chase medium and low interest women.
I don't know about "most" guys, but I'm sure many guys don't get to experience a high interest woman. And I'd say only a small minority get to experience an abundance of high interest women.

Women also are good at feigning high interest when they really have little to no interest.
You got that right. Some are attention hos, and they spread their little seeds to get a bunch of different guys hung up on them. Some of it is that women are naturally charming, they've had to develop that skill to survive. Look at all the guys here who talk about wanting to get with some waitress or cashier, women who are paid to be nice to people. Probably the only time some guys get a smile from a female. Women are naturally alluring, and nurturing. They can feign caring about you at the drop of a hat.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Friend of mine is not the most attractive but he is very persistent and it's gotten him laid many times. I consider myself a fairly attractive guy but don't like to pursue and I don't get half the girls he does.
Follow him you might learn
 

BDDazza

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Friend of mine is not the most attractive but he is very persistent and it's gotten him laid many times.
If your friend is genuinely unattractive he may need to persist more than the average guy. He has gotten laid by sacrificing his dignity, integrity just for sex.

I consider myself a fairly attractive guy but don't like to pursue and I don't get half the girls he does.
Men can pursue, up to a limit. The issue is when you are pursuing and the lady isn't reciprocating and you're still pursuing to change her mind.


Used to be able to easily. Now I dunno why I can’t. It’s like my “game” got worse as I got older.
Another thing that’s made me not put in near the effort I used to is I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older I have a hard time getting past 4-5 dates before they break it off with me. I’m not doing anything different than I was back then when it hardly ever happened
If you went on 4 or 5 dates, it means the woman was interested, at least initially. It's okay to pursue interested women! In those 4 or 5 dates the woman has changed her mind so its something you've done to make her feel different about you. Also as you get older a ladies priorities change, they are looking to settle, get married, have children etc, so you can't employ the same game.


The problem I’ve had is being tricked by the women who feign high interest. I’ve experienced it before but now it’s to where I can’t tell who’s legit and who’s pretending for awhile.
I know what you mean, you need to get better at assessing her true interest. This is part of your self development.
 
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Robert28

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If your friend is genuinely unattractive he may need to persist more than the average guy. He has gotten laid by sacrificing his dignity, integrity just for sex.



Men can pursue, up to a limit. The issue is when you are pursuing and the lady isn't reciprocating and you're still pursing to change her mind.






If you went on 4 or 5 dates, it means the woman was interested, at least initially. It's okay to pursue interested women! In those 4 or 5 dates the woman has changed her mind so its something you've done to make her feel different about you. Also as you get older a ladies priorities change, they are looking to settle, get married, have children etc, so you can't employ the same game.




I know what you mean, you need to get better at assessing her true interest. This is part of your self development.
The confusing thing is it’s not a gradual thing of them losing interest. It’s very fast. Like something is just “different” one day out of the blue. I had one girl break it off with me because we were talking about sex and she said something about liking to be tied up. I said I don’t like to be tied up, I like to be in control. She later told me that made me sound like a prude and dumped me.lol It’s not something drastic I’m doing, they’re taking one small thing and nexting me for it. I haven’t found that older women are always looking to get settled down and all that, they sure aren’t pursuing that with me. They just seem to be dating around, doing these 4-5 dates with a guy and move on because they will tell you stories about guys before and the same 4-5 dates happened and something ran them off.
 

jaymbrs

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Women can be terribly fickle. Like a child with a new toy who is excited at first and then dumps it there bored, wanting something new.

Long term thinking with our goals, health and finance.

Short term thinking with women (who are basically outside our boundaries)

We only really have the next moment with them. (sure an accumulation of next moments can develop into something....but the mentality needs to be the next moment/meet up)

Too many men will think oh she is great and start visualizing the future. the future is s a form of self suffering as we only have now.
Not sure if I'm reading this correctly. But this should be men's long term goals. Not women.
 

BDDazza

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The confusing thing is it’s not a gradual thing of them losing interest. It’s very fast. Like something is just “different” one day out of the blue. I had one girl break it off with me because we were talking about sex and she said something about liking to be tied up. I said I don’t like to be tied up, I like to be in control. She later told me that made me sound like a prude and dumped me.lol It’s not something drastic I’m doing, they’re taking one small thing and nexting me for it. I haven’t found that older women are always looking to get settled down and all that, they sure aren’t pursuing that with me. They just seem to be dating around, doing these 4-5 dates with a guy and move on because they will tell you stories about guys before and the same 4-5 dates happened and something ran them off.
She lost interest in you already. At best she had borderline medium interest by date 4-5.

Because an interested woman wouldn't dump a guy over a single prudish comment, her plan was to wait for you to say something she can disagree with, and then dump you.

Remember a uninterest women is looking for an excuse to dump you. Whereas an interested women is looking for an excuse to keep you around.

Robert, can I ask you a question. What are you looking for? A long term relationship, a short term relationship, a FWB. Because how you approach each woman and how you vet them is different.
 
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Robert28

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She lost interest in you already. At best she had borderline medium interest by date 4-5.

Because an interested woman wouldn't dump a guy over a single prudish comment, her plan was to wait for you to say something she can disagree with, and then dump you.

Remember a uninterest women is looking for an excuse to dump you. Whereas an interested women is looking for an excuse to keep you around.

Robert, can I ask you a question. What are you looking for? A long term relationship, a short term relationship, a FWB. Because how you approach each woman and how you vet them is different.
Looking back now I see it about her. I should have known mixed signals meant no but she kept insisting we go out on dates so my ego thought I still had a shot. She tried to make me an orbiter not long after that but I didn’t accept. As for what I’m looking for, I don’t go into anything with expectations. When I meet a girl I have no idea what I’ll want from her. My longest relationship ended up as a one night stand but then we hungout the next day and ended up hanging out all weekend and it was on from there. I tend to have a lot of medium-low interest women cross my path. The weird thing is they seem to make an effort (albeit under false pretenses) so it’s hard to tell who’s really into you and who isn’t in the beginning stages. I’ve had girls that were absolutely all about me but they weren’t as aggressive chasing me as low interest girls were.
 

jaymbrs

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Someone mentioned it somewhere and I agree that most of us aren't Chads so we'll inevitably have to deal with low to medium interested women. You want that to change, work on yourself. Make more money, get ripped, become an expert at something that women like to be involved in like dancing. Yes, this is repetitive advice but it works. I worked hard on my physique in my mid twenties and it got me women I wouldn't have been able to get.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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One thing to bear in mind is that it's almost always more efficient to start over with a new girl than it is to try to make something happen with one who isn't very interested.
 

Robert28

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One thing to bear in mind is that it's almost always more efficient to start over with a new girl than it is to try to make something happen with one who isn't very interested.
This is solid advice! Wish I learned this earlier in life but I have a bad habit of wanting to keep at something that’s a dead end sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes the perfect storm happens and I’ll waste time going after one girl who was low interest instead of starting over with someone new.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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This is solid advice! Wish I learned this earlier in life but I have a bad habit of wanting to keep at something that’s a dead end sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes the perfect storm happens and I’ll waste time going after one girl who was low interest instead of starting over with someone new.
Probably just the sunk cost fallacy, most people do it with something or another.
 

BDDazza

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Looking back now I see it about her. I should have known mixed signals meant no but she kept insisting we go out on dates so my ego thought I still had a shot. She tried to make me an orbiter not long after that but I didn’t accept. As for what I’m looking for, I don’t go into anything with expectations.
I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, she was definitely borderline-interested or she wouldn't went out with you multiple times at her insistence. Somewhere along the line she lost complete interest.

When I meet a girl I have no idea what I’ll want from her.
You need to decide what you want from a woman before you pursue otherwise you'll attract the wrong lady. If you two have conflicting outcomes she will lose interest.

For example, if a she is looking for a long term relationship and you are coming across as 'unsure', she might initially be genuinely attracted to you, but she will lose interest as you are not fitting her requirement. If you're unsure then you need to find a lady who is 'unsure' too, in which case unsure woman are more likely to want something casual or a one night stand, and eventually she will make up her mind about what she wants and will leave you.

If you want a woman to stick around, then you need to shift this 'unsure' mentality to "I want a long term relationship" and you'll attract a women who wants a long term relationship too. Then you need to vet them (before you go on a date) about their plans in the next 1-5 years, the unsure woman will find this conversation boring and disappear but the ladies seeking a relationship will stick around.
 
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MatureDJ

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Women don't pursue anybody, men have to pursue women. Women won't knock on your door just like that, out of nowhere. But there is a good and a bad way to pursue women.
Women pursue Chad. :rolleyes:
 
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