Jager
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
- Messages
- 239
- Reaction score
- 277
- Age
- 32
And therein the trap of the feminine imperative is revealed. You have no sense of self. You were raised to discard that, taught that you were a slave, though not in so many words. We men are born with a strength and depth that women, and society for that matter, must beat down in order for men to be controlled. I have experienced the effects of this. When I unplugged there was a gap there. A void in my consciousness, my soul.It’s more self loathing than anything else. She didn’t deserve my worst. She deserved my best. And I stopped giving it to her. I never had that bond before her. I was always getting ready for it though.
My social proof was thru the roof.
Beautiful women were easy for me.
I had gone thru dozens (being a bartender)
I already knew I wanted to start a business.
I knew exactly the type of woman I wanted.
I was young and driven.
I chose her out of abundance. Not scarcity
But now I’m just a bit lost.
I believe she did the right thing for herself. I wasn’t progressing. I wasn’t moving things forward (with her). I was consumed by my work. I was in a constant negative state (towards the end) due to external and internal factors. Which I’ve now corrected.
I just don’t have the time to grieve this and get back in the horse. I’m 31 years old. Will be 32 in November. Im having a lot of trouble moving FORWARD towards what I’m supposed to be. I’m a hyper learner when I’m pushed to be. This experience taught me things in a few months, that most men spend an entire lifetime learning. But it’s of no help when everyone is settled down and I’m not. It’s like I lost at musical chairs or something.
This kind of thing is my kryptonite and I refuse to go thru it again. And to think that all there is to life is to make money and constantly bed strangers until I no longer can is a sobering thought.
Life is, indeed, meaningless without purpose. You need a purpose. Everything in your life is a creation of yourself. While you agree with this data, you need to act on it. What you’re doing right now is looking for validation. Continually talking about your trials in this matter is not going to help you. Right now you’re looking for us to give you attention. The only being that can solve this is you. While others can help guide you, this journey is totally on you. We can give you the gear, but you’re going to have to be the one that climbs out of Hell.
So suck it up. Rebuild your drive, determination. Find ambitions and goals to pursue and master. That is the only cure. Existence only has meaning if you’re actually working toward a constructive goal. Do something worth a d@mn for yourself and others. And don’t ever idolize women ever again.
The time for talk is over, @daproest1. Get it done.