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Splitting the bill on the first date

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I have a drink date with a girl from OLD and I'm starting to get Disney princess mentality vibes from her, so I will not be shocked if I do not get anything out of this date lol. From my experience, the bartender or server just puts the bill on your side assuming you will pay for it and leaves as soon as possible. This makes you have to go out of your way to chase the server and kind of look like a cheap arse to split the bill.
 

SW15

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This is one of the advantages of being a woman. You get free drinks and dinner early stage dates. Betas/simps tend to do more dinner dates but it's quite difficult to avoid drinks dates.

It does not matter whether you meet the woman via swipe app, cold approach, or a social circle setup. You're going to be on the hook 100% for the cost of at least the first date, if not the first few dates. There isn't a good way to split costs and look good, unless you are a tattooed dirtbag who is marginally employed. If you are a guy with a bachelor's degree or higher, a white collar job, and minimal tattoos/criminal convictions, you're going to be paying for first dates.

The biggest workaround to paying for first dates while still dating is to go on first dates arranged from in-person approaching and your social circle. You'll tend to go on fewer dates that way. Websites/swipe apps are good for getting a higher quantity of dates, but most of these dates are low quality dates that don't result in anything. One date, no sex, no second date is the most common outcome from a website/swipe app arranged date. Dates arranged through in-person approaching are more likely to reduce the low quality outcome I just described. Arranging dates in person better positions you to spend less on garbage dates. When you do spend on those higher quality prospect first dates, you have a greater chance of a 2nd date.
 

rjc149

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You're the man. You lead, and you pay. It's that simple.

You split the bill in 1 of 2 scenarios:
1. She offers to split the bill.
2. She's chosen a very expensive venue -- which, if you are leading, should never happen.

Pick a casual but upscale bar or lounge for a 1st date. Never a restaurant. If the date is going well and there's a spark, then you can go to a nearby restaurant to continue the evening. This restaurant should also be casual, with entrees in the $10-20 range. If you believe your chances of banging this girl are over 75%, take care of her and say "next round's on you."

Adult dating costs money. Don't focus on how to avoid paying for dates. Focus on making more money.
 

Bingo-Player

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I'm happy enough to pay for first date i usually try to keep them cheap and cheerful

I always try too insinuate that they will either be paying for the next one or at least contributing towards it

Not really had any backlash from this so far but then i don't "date" much , suspect girls with princess syndrome probably wouldn't like it

Where do you draw the line though ? i mean a mug could end up wasting a fortune on dates that go absolutely nowhere

don't think women really consider that aspect at all , ultimately all she has to do is turn up

When i was 21 and didn't know any better i took a HB to a fancy Italian restaurant i think the bill racked up to nearly £100 and she didn't offer a bean , we didn't get a second date i dont think i even got a kiss out of her

That was enough of a lesson for me
 

Dash Riprock

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Adult dating costs money. Don't focus on how to avoid paying for dates. Focus on making more money.
Agreed.

Not to be insulting, but "splitting the bill" on a first date is very Gen Z or even Y. I assume OP asked the girl out, she accepted, and now he wants her to split the bill on the date he asked for? Seems really wussy to me, but the lines of sexuality have been blurred with each new generation.
 

rjc149

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I met a cute Chinese girl off OKC a while back. On the first date, I picked the venues -- all casual sports bars -- and picked up the tab. We ate buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks for dinner. We had a great time and I ended up banging her all night, including anal.

Our next date, she picked a really expensive venue. I looked up the menu online and it raised my eyebrows. Entrees were $30-$50, drinks were $17. But I didn't push back. When the tab came, she smiled at me. I picked it up. After dinner she said she needed to be up early. I tried making moves but she wouldn't let it go anywhere. She went home. I hit her up again, and she said I was too gropey and forward, and that she didn't want to see me again. I'll admit that several $17 old-fashioned's on a $150+ dinner bill did make me gropey.

ALWAYS lead the interaction. If she picks a venue you object to, make it clear. Have a spine. Suggest an alternative. With this girl, my thought was "I already banged her, she's my girl, I'll take care of her." Too soon for that. I let her lead, I spent a sh!tload of money so my expectations were too high, and although this girl wasn't all there upstairs, lesson learned. This is what beta simps do. They spend money hoping to get hanky panky in return. It's a turn off.

Take care of her because you're the man and you're leading. Not because you're trying to buy something. If you're leading, you can manage your expenditure on dates easily.
 

Willie Naylor

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But a woman is not a cheap ass for being unwilling to even pay for herself.
This is just an unspoken rule of dating. The man pays for the 1st date.

I know some of you on this forum like to debate this and turn this into a 'woman is just using me for a free meal' thing, but this is just how it is. Men pay for the first date.

Also, generally speaking, the person who does the inviting, also does the paying.
 

bat soup

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I have a drink date with a girl from OLD and I'm starting to get Disney princess mentality vibes from her, so I will not be shocked if I do not get anything out of this date lol. From my experience, the bartender or server just puts the bill on your side assuming you will pay for it and leaves as soon as possible. This makes you have to go out of your way to chase the server and kind of look like a cheap arse to split the bill.
Just avoid locations where women have the opportunity to do this, i.e. restaurants. Those are shiiittty places to escalate anyway.

The last thing you need is a woman sitting across a table, so far that you can't even out and touch her to find out if she is FOS or not, whilst she gulps down the most expensive food on the menu.
 

CoandaEffect

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First date should be relatively cheap, you should choose the location and you should pay.
 

bat soup

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First date should be relatively cheap, you should choose the location and you should pay.
I agree with choosing the location. The person that pays is the person that decides. That's for damn sure.

Otherwise, you're opening yourself up to getting used as a pay pig.
 

Glassguy

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I don’t want to waste my money on Disney princesses
Then dont go on the date. If you are getting bad vibes now, why would you not cancel?
There have been plenty of times I have canceled because I start getting a bad vibe and I know what the 2 of us are looking for arent even close.

I certainly dont want to waste an hour or two of my life going on a date that I know I am not going to enjoy.
 

Willie Naylor

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Then dont go on the date. If you are getting bad vibes now, why would you not cancel?
OP is a perpetual pessimist. He posts things here to get like-minded individuals all worked up, until the thread eventually turns into an 'all women suck and here's why' thread.

I'm not sure why more forum members haven't caught on to this.
 
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