wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Anyone else get turned off by jealously shiit tests? I mean, loyalty is close to the top of the list of qualities us men look for!
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Speaking of shiit tests...
- Thread starter wifehunter
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Yeah, I hear you!!!
I will give it to the ladies though, it's a great way to get to know someone. Kind of like a stress test. Assuming you are quality, and she finds out by testing, the benefits are staggering!!!
But, too much is to much!
My last test or tests, was fuking brutal. I could never see a test any worse. She must really love me. But, I'm glad she's gone for now!!! When I think of her, I have mixed feelings. In the future she'll need to qualify herself. "Turn about, is fair play"
Shift
Don Juan
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Sure, it makes perfect sense why they do it. I think realize it or not, as we get better with girls we kinda sh!t test them too. Helps you screen for crazy needy behavior.
But after a certain point I feel like I'm just a circus animal jumping through hoops and I won't put up with that.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Just say NO to hoops... Yeah, ghosting/nc is the best course of action in that case. I've been a ghost for two months. Halloween lasted extra long this year! Feels great!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
With ALL women.. your finger should always be hovering over the eject button.
Where most men lose their leverage and give away their power is by always looking for excuses to stay with a woman while women are always looking for excuses to leave a man (hypergamy). When you reverse this pattern while spinning plates.. women cling like glue. Its so easy from a technical stand point. But most men are too emotionally weak to operate this way because they're giant co-dependent white knights.
Where most men lose their leverage and give away their power is by always looking for excuses to stay with a woman while women are always looking for excuses to leave a man (hypergamy). When you reverse this pattern while spinning plates.. women cling like glue. Its so easy from a technical stand point. But most men are too emotionally weak to operate this way because they're giant co-dependent white knights.
sazc
Master Don Juan
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everytime you guy talk about women putting you thru hit test, and you describe those tests, it just sounds to me like these are either insecure women, or just dont know how to/are afraid to communicate their needs to you. that's not me saying that women are never **** testing by design, I just wonder how many of their insecurities come out as **** tests, and they dont even recognize it
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Yes, insecurities are a high probability. And, yes, they don't know how to communicate their needs. And yes, they are clueless to the fact, also. It's when the pain of loss overcomes them, they finally open their mouths.
Be excellent, and be gone!
Roober
Master Don Juan
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Couldn't agree more! I would be willing to bet that most attractive women HB7 and above are actually insecure. And this ties into the jealousy. I probably had 5 different occasions with my ex where she got jealous. It wasn't outrageous, but she made subtle comments. The worst part is, none of those occasions did I flirt or do anything in front of her and the women were less attractive.
sazc
Master Don Juan
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When I see you guys discuss this topic, I do wonder to myself - where are your "standards"?. My knee jerk is to ask you to call her on her sh1t and explain you don't deal in passive aggressive bu11**** and, if she has any needs, or concerns, she needs to TALK to you about them.
But I know it's all easier said than done...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Yes, getting to the bottom of the issue is tough because of the emotional air around it. Sometimes, I can't find the words. I have trouble dealing with my own emotions. Having to deal with another's emotions gets overwhelming at times.
So, when they pout, I get quiet, and do nothing. Talking instead of pouting is a much more mature and problem solving response. The pouting isn't so cute anymore. Thanks!
Roober
Master Don Juan
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Agreed! If there was one thing we didn't ever do was talk. We would have a conversation, but then nothing came of it. I would dig and dig, and she would say she needs time to process or think about it... then never bring it up again...
Until she decided it was over... her lack of really communicating what was going on should have been a big red flag. I mostly got the "your not used to being alone" (because I had only been divorced a couple months) and "I have been single for a while, and I like my independence"