"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Songs that cracks u up

Roly

Roly

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Know a couple of good songs?

Here are some that I can think of:

Tenacious D - Fvck her gently

Tenacious D- Kielbasa Sausage

Uses of the word Fvck- Adam Sandler

Drinking in the woods- Jimmy Fallon

Tenacious D- With Karate I'll kick your ass

The @$$hole Song- Jimmy Buffet
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I

immrtlwun

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Almost everything form the Bloodhound Gang.

A Lap Dance is so Much Better When the Stripper is Crying

I Hope You Die

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Girls

Three Point One Four

Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny

Those are all funny as hell.
 
M

MrS

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Wierd Al.
 
S

So Many Ways

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The funniest song I've ever heard has to be R Kelly's "Feelin' on Your Booty". The whole song is about booty and it's so ****in hilarious, especially when you take into account R Kelly's reputation. He keeps singing "booty" over and over again and it's hysterical.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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T

The Bad Ass Canadian

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look for a song by a guy who calls himself Twisted Mister.

The song is called "suck me off"

hillarious
 
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