"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Songs that cracks u up

Roly

Roly

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Know a couple of good songs?

Here are some that I can think of:

Tenacious D - Fvck her gently

Tenacious D- Kielbasa Sausage

Uses of the word Fvck- Adam Sandler

Drinking in the woods- Jimmy Fallon

Tenacious D- With Karate I'll kick your ass

The @$$hole Song- Jimmy Buffet
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I

immrtlwun

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Almost everything form the Bloodhound Gang.

A Lap Dance is so Much Better When the Stripper is Crying

I Hope You Die

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Girls

Three Point One Four

Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny

Those are all funny as hell.
 
M

MrS

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Wierd Al.
 
S

So Many Ways

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The funniest song I've ever heard has to be R Kelly's "Feelin' on Your Booty". The whole song is about booty and it's so ****in hilarious, especially when you take into account R Kelly's reputation. He keeps singing "booty" over and over again and it's hysterical.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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T

The Bad Ass Canadian

Master Don Juan
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look for a song by a guy who calls himself Twisted Mister.

The song is called "suck me off"

hillarious
 
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