I was out on a date recently with a cute, smart, seemingly good girl. At the end of the date she starts to talk about relationships. I tell her 3 years was the longest one i have ever been in. She says a year for her, then says her relationships just seem to end. She then added that her last bf broke it off "because he said I depress him". Not sure what she's telling me, but man that was too much info.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Some of the things chicks say....
- Thread starter Disco
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That's the thing, it was a good date. Actually I thought it was very good. She mentioned that at the end and I was thinking that maybe she thought I wasn't going to ask her out again for some reason. I just thought "he said I depress him" thing is odd. Me being the sarcastic person I am just smiled and said "isn't that what relationships are all about?"
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Disco,
the only things I am concerned about is how she treated/dumped her exes. And her opinions of them. I don't care how many she went out with, don't care how many she banged (as long as she's clean). If you give her the interrogation like the following: 1. How many boyfriends 2. How many sex partners 3. Do you have lots of exes as friends 4. etc etc.. She will see through that and see you as insecure.
She is not insecure, she is just telling you that she's never had a real long relationship... WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Nothing..
Just enjoy it and see where it goes.
the only things I am concerned about is how she treated/dumped her exes. And her opinions of them. I don't care how many she went out with, don't care how many she banged (as long as she's clean). If you give her the interrogation like the following: 1. How many boyfriends 2. How many sex partners 3. Do you have lots of exes as friends 4. etc etc.. She will see through that and see you as insecure.
She is not insecure, she is just telling you that she's never had a real long relationship... WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Nothing..
Just enjoy it and see where it goes.
I know, I didn't even discuss it...just blew on through to the next topic. If there's one thing that I know now it's not to display any kind of insecurity if you have any. Just push on through like it doesn't phase you and don't mention it.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Whats all this insecurity talk bull**** I hear on every thread?? You want to know how big of a hor a girl is and this makes you insecure?? Stop it!! Men are not insecure, only women get insecure. Men don't seek security - only women seek security!! If you 'feel' insecure you are an 'effeminate"! No man I know has displayed any insecurities - if they question something it is for good reason - they want to know something to formualte an opinion and to seek truth!! Nothing insecure about that. The word and concept of 'insecurity' is a feminine topic and should be kept out of men's conversations!!